


The Care and Feeding of Supersoldiers

by myhappyplace



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: (mostly comfort), Anal Sex, Cisgender Female Reader, Dirty Talk, Domestic Fluff, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Enthusiastic Consent, Explicit in later chapters, F/M, Fluff, Hand Jobs, M/M, Multi, Not Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Compliant, Not Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie) Compliant, Oral Sex, Polyamory, Self-Indulgent, Self-Insert, Steve Rogers Needs a Hug, Threesome - F/M/M, Vaginal Sex, safe sex, speeches are steve's love language, taking care of supersoldiers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-23
Updated: 2019-05-05
Packaged: 2019-07-15 21:23:05
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 86,831
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16071620
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/myhappyplace/pseuds/myhappyplace
Summary: It started as a chance meeting and a moment of kindness, but soon you find yourself developing a relationship with two of the most famous superheroes in the world. And best of all, you don't have to choose between them.





	1. The Initial Encounter

**Author's Note:**

> I've had a daydream for a while about how I'd be _such_ a good partner for a superhero. They could stop by whenever they get the chance, get a little rest, let me feed them, we'd have some sex and then they go off and save the world again while I keep to my happy normal quiet little life. 
> 
> It got to a point where I thought, "I should really write this down."
> 
> So yes, this fic started as an indulgent distraction for me, but I figured that there might be other readers out there who have a Caretaker drive that could power a small city and would absolutely want to use it on some handsome and charming supersoldiers. 
> 
> I have a lot of this already written, but it's a work-in-progress because I keep adding more to it (because I keep dreaming new things I'd want to do with/to them lol). With the way I've written the story, there aren't any cliffhangers, and each chapter functions as its own little story unit.

The first time you meet Captain America and the Winter Soldier is on a Saturday just like any other. You've had a quiet morning at your favorite cafe, catching up on your budget and reading some of the long articles you've had open in tabs throughout the week. You made a few shopping lists for the errands you need to run this afternoon and feel good about the schedule you've created for the day. It's looking like your weekend will be relaxing and productive, and you have a little extra cash to go out with a friend tonight for dinner.

You don't mind your simple life. You kind of love it, to be honest. Sure, you enjoy adventures and thrillers as entertainment, but you know you wouldn't last a day in that kind of life.

 

There's a smile on your face as you leave the cafe, your mind thinking about how the weekend has just begun, you have a little plan for what you'll do, and you can't help but feel happy. As you approach the parking garage where you left your car, you start to hear a lot of loud noises. In general, loud noises in a city aren't something that would surprise you, but these are _CLANGS_ and _GRUNTS_ and _SHOUTING_ , clearly not construction or people moving their things from a vehicle to an apartment. You keep walking to your car on the first level, observing your surroundings more than you normally would to try and figure out the source of the noises. The shouting and clanking only gets louder until you hear a car engine rev, the squeal of tires, and something quickly flies past in front of you and crashes into the garage wall. You stare at the object, flabbergasted because it looks so familiar. Is that a round shield? Is it _that_ shield?

Before you can really consider how that particular shield has come to be embedded in a concrete wall barely ten feet away from you, a car comes rushing around the corner from a higher level of the garage with quick footsteps and shouting following right behind it. When you see the two men running after -- and practically keeping up with -- this car, your shock causes you to freeze and your jaw to literally drop: it's Captain America, and that metal arm can only mean that he's accompanied by the Winter Soldier. Your first thought is wondering what the hell are they doing in your city.

Your second thought is that pictures do not do justice to how huge they are.

The car quickly squeals out of the garage and gets to a speed beyond a pace that the two men can keep. Captain America runs back to grab his shield, and the Winter Soldier pulls out a fancy device.

"Our nearest transport is five minutes away. I can jack a car but it'll still take me a few minutes!"

"I really don't want to take someone's car, but we can't let them get too far from us or they'll be completely out of our reach."

"Well, unless you have Sam's wings hidden where I can't see them, we might not have a choice."

"You can use my car!" you shout.

Both men turn to you, clearly just realizing that you've been standing there the whole time. In the few seconds that they stare at you, you grab your keys off your bag and extend them in your hand in front of you, moving closer to them. You quickly pull your keys back for a moment to remove your house key, then throw your thumb over your shoulder to point at your little hatchback. "My title is in the glove compartment, and it's got my address on it! Just get it back to me when you're done, please!"

The Captain stares for another moment before minutely shaking his head and giving what you can only assume is his most patriotic smile, then he takes the keys from your hand. When he moves past you to get to your car, the Winter Soldier honest-to-god winks at you and says in a deep voice, "Thanks, sweetheart."

They slide into the car and you move out of the way. You congratulate yourself mentally for backing the car into the parking space that morning because the Captain is able to immediately drive forward and out of the garage. Captain America gives you a little wave and a thanks as they drive past, and you laugh a bit at how comically large they look in your little car.

Then you cringe when you realize you haven't vacuumed the inside for a few months.

You also realize that you just handed your main form of transportation over to two men who have a relatively poor record with vehicle return. Your plans for the day have been dramatically changed in less than three minutes.

 

You walk in a daze to the train stop that will get you within walking distance of your apartment. You haven't been this absorbed in a daydream since you were in middle school and a cute boy said _Hi_ to you. You never expected to actually see a superhero, let alone meet one and help them on their mission! You don't live anywhere near New York City, and though your city is large, it's not the place where anyone would expect an alien attack or any crime grand enough to necessitate the intervention of Captain America and the Winter Soldier.

Seated on the train, you check the local news for any reports of criminal activity, but there is nothing major or out of the ordinary. Social media doesn't have any trending tags for Captain America in your area. The only reason you aren't considering that you hallucinated the whole thing is the very real lack of your car.

 

Later in the day, your car still hasn't been returned. You're more concerned for their safety rather than whether or not you'll have your car again. Maybe it's naive of you, but you don't think Captain America's Good Guy persona is an act. You genuinely believe he'll get your car back to you, you only hope that he and the Winter Soldier don't get too banged up in the process.

Just thinking about Captain America again causes you to remember how cute he was when you offered your help. There was a moment of blushing bashfulness that you intend to preserve in your memory for the rest of your life. (You'll be recalling James Buchanan Barnes's wink later when you're in bed.)

 

In the evening, you text your friend to ask about getting dinner at a restaurant nearby. (No, you tell them, you can't give them a ride, you'll explain later.) The dinner is enjoyable, and your friend can't believe that you not only met the two superheroes, but that you also so willingly gave your car to them.

"You're such a sap," they say.

"They needed help!" you shout playfully back. "It's not like I can throw a punch or use a weapon, but I can certainly give them my car! And what if that helps them prevent something horrible from happening in our city? And protects innocent bystanders from getting hurt? Of course I had to give them my car. I'd do it again in a heartbeat."

"Like I said," your friend responds flatly, "you're a sap," unimpressed by your speech.

You have a few drinks and get a little tipsy, but you obviously aren't driving so you let yourself have fun. On the walk home, there's a little sway to your step and a smile on your face that just won't fall away. The whole day seems like a dream and you want to cherish this good feeling for as long as possible. Once home, you clumsily change into your sleep shirt and fall into bed, blushing faces and winking smirks circling your mind while your body quiets and dips into slumber.

  


◆ ◆ ◆

  


The next morning is bright, creating sunbeams that cut through your blinds and land on your face, warming your skin. You smile as you stretch and your first conscious thoughts return you to the events of the day before. A good night's rest hasn't changed how giddy the encounter still makes you feel. When you open the blinds, you blink a few times as you realize that your car is parked on the street in front of your apartment. You can see an envelope taped to your passenger window and the car itself looks noticeably cleaner than it did the previous morning. You quickly put on some sweatpants and shoes and run outside toward your car. The envelope has your name on the front. (You stop yourself from being surprised about that. They saw your car title and address, of course they also saw your name.) On the back of the envelope, it says "Your keys are under the flower pot on your front porch."

You grab your keys and open your car. Not only has the outside been cleaned, but so has the inside: completely vacuumed, surfaces waxed, and it smells faintly of cleaner. You aren't too embarrassed about the previous state of your car's interior -- it was a little dusty and in need of a vacuuming, but certainly not disgusting. You shake your head with a smile and head back inside to open the envelope.

It holds a letter. It's written in a simple script that is of Steve Rogers's hand given the signature at the bottom. There's also some ALL CAPS chicken scratch in a post script, which you assume to be Bucky's handwriting. 

> _Thank you again for loaning us your car. You didn't have to, but you did, and it made our job much easier. I know that people like you are out there, but whenever I meet someone with such unrestrained and unselfish kindness, I am always surprised and awestruck. We know that cleaning your car and filling the tank isn't nearly enough to really express our thanks, but it's certainly a start._
> 
> _Keep yourself safe. Don't go loaning your car out to any old superhero.  
>  _
> 
> _Steve Rogers  
>  _
> 
> _PS: THE CAR HANDLES WELL. WE DON'T RECOMMEND DOING U-TURNS AT SPEEDS OVER 45 MPH, BUT IT CAN. NICE BUMPER STICKER. -- JBB_

You reread the letter several times before processing it. You find yourself really touched at the simplicity and appreciation from Steve, and you can't help but be a little curious if Bucky is referring to the Wonder Woman or the Queer Rights sticker on the hatchback door.


	2. Seconds of Meetings and Pie

The second time you meet Captain America and the Winter Soldier is when they show up on your doorstep a month later.

You could never forget that weekend, but your life quickly returns to its expected regularity and simplicity. There were little things you continued to notice about your car as the weeks passed: your windshield, with its obnoxious crack that you had yet to replace, was brand new; the little oil date sticker in the corner of the windshield showed a new 5k mileage; a small note that said all of the engine fluids had been changed and replenished. It seemed excessive, but you also felt really grateful for their kindness. As for the note they left, you came close to framing it, but instead you decided to hang it on the fridge with a magnet. You don't care how dumb and sentimental you are about it - how many people can say that they have a handwritten thank-you note from Captain America and the Winter Soldier? So yes, you intend to cherish it.

The note left no hint that they would ever return, and whenever the dreamer in you would become a little disappointed about that, the realist would shout back, _Yeah, but you met them!_

 

On a quiet Friday evening, you hear a knock on your door, which is unusual on its own, and when you peer through the peephole and see Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes standing on your porch with their hands in their pockets, you have to take a few seconds to let the shock wear off before you can compose yourself. It's no use. You're in a t-shirt and jeans, most of your makeup from the morning has worn off, and you have absolutely no time to change any of that. Your original plans for the evening were a walk around the neighborhood and maybe a drink at your local bar. You absently reflect on how quickly these two can turn your whole day around.

 

You open the door and breathlessly say _Hello_. They both smile and return your greeting. After a pause while you stand there grinning at both of them, you come to your senses.

"It's so good to see you again! Would you like to come inside?"

Steve smiles wider and replies, "Sure, but we were actually hoping to take you out to dinner as thanks tonight."

Your eyes widen and you can't help but giggle. Bucky's smile gets a little bigger.

"Yeah, okay! Do you have anywhere in mind?"

"I could really go for a good burger, you know where we can get one of those?" Bucky asks.

"I've got just the place." You glance behind them for a moment, then turn to Steve with a smirk on your face. "So do you have a car or do you need to borrow one again?"

They both laugh, and Steve gives a little shake to the keys in his hands, "We've got a rental this time."

 

You take them to your local diner. You go there often enough that you know a lot of the staff and also know that most of them won't think twice about these giant supersoldiers sitting in their restaurant. When you walk inside, Steve and Bucky motion for you to sit between them at the counter. Once you've got some glasses of water and menus, you turn to Steve.

"This is some pretty special treatment for a girl who just loaned you her car."

Bucky leans in a little on your other side, and as you turn your head to him, your eyes widen at his close proximity. "You'd be surprised. It's not everyday that a cute girl so graciously offers up something that important."

Steve grins and leans in a little as well. "We would have been back sooner, but we had a mission overseas for a few weeks."

You can't help the blush that spreads across your cheeks. Hopefully they'll just attribute it to the higher temperature inside the restaurant. 

You clear your throat a little. "Um, how often do you have missions?"

Steve relaxes back and shrugs. "On average, every other week. But it's too irregular to really speak of a schedule, and the missions can last anywhere between a few hours to a whole month. Anyway, what would you recommend here?"

You point out the burgers to Bucky, and Steve wonders about the mac and cheese. You recommend that he adds Brussels sprouts.

"I don't think I've ever had those recommended to me."

"That's how good they are here. I genuinely recommend them."

 

After you've placed your orders, the three of you fall into a conversation of favorite books and podcasts. Steve loves to listen to podcasts because he can do other things while he listens. Bucky says he likes podcasts too, but prefers to read, especially science fiction and horror. You recommend a few of your favorites, and it turns out you already have a few in common. When your food arrives, you and Bucky are excitedly discussing your favorite parts of a short story he read recently while Steve listens with a smile.

You can tell that the staff know exactly who they have sitting at their counter, and that they all share the desire to help the men feel as comfortable as possible. You and the cook talk about the comics you both picked up that week, and the waitress shares a funny story about a customer. You make sure to tell Steve and Bucky the local details they need to know for the stories to make sense, but everyone's good humor keeps the conversation lighthearted and enjoyable.

 

After you finish dinner, you order a piece of pie. It arrives with three forks, and once you take the first bite you motion for them to take their own piece. Steve outright groans around his bite and immediately turns to the waiter to order two more slices. Bucky smiles around his own bite and then leans forward to say thanks to Steve.

Steve flashes a sly grin at Bucky. "Oh no. Those are for me. You order your own." 

Bucky looks back at you and raises an eyebrow. "Can you believe this guy?" You laugh and push your own plate toward him. 

The look Bucky gives you makes you feel completely isolated. "Aren't you sweet," he says quietly to you, then louder, "unlike this jerk," as he nods towards Steve. This shakes you out of your stare and you laugh. 

Steve laughs too but is otherwise happily preoccupied by his pie. "This place is great. Thank you for bringing us here," he says around a mouthful of pecans, chocolate, and pastry.

"It's one of my favorite places in the city, I'm really glad you guys like it here too."

 

Another quiet moment passes, and you're brought back to a thought you had earlier. "Do you guys get time to rest? Like, in between missions? It seems so exhausting to always be fighting."

Steve tilts his head in thought. "Yeah, we get downtime. But it's hard to take too much time off when you know you can be helping elsewhere." 

His comment leaves a weird feeling in your gut. You obviously know they are doing important work - you're pretty sure they saved your city (or at least a portion of it) a month ago - but everyone needs a break. Exhausting and stressful work for too long will burn anyone out, even a supersoldier. 

"Well, I hope that you make sure to take a little time off here and there and not feel guilty about it. If you give too much of yourself to your work, you might end up becoming bitter and resentful of the job." You turn your head to your lap, "And you both are way too important for that to happen."

Bucky bumps you lightly with his shoulder, causing you to look at him. He gives you a little smile before you turn back to Steve who has a similar look on his face. 

You leave the diner shortly after that. Steve pays the bill before you can even grab your wallet, and when you open your mouth to argue, he gives you a look that is all Captain America. You quickly snap your mouth shut again and mumble your thanks once more.

 

You sit in the passenger seat on the drive home. Bucky is quiet in the backseat while you and Steve talk about the buildings and parks you drive past. You have an anecdote or experience about so many of the places in your city, and you have difficulty holding them back when Steve seems to enjoy listening.

 

Steve parks the car on the street in front of your apartment in almost the exact spot where your car had been left after that fateful morning when you first met. You turn to say goodbye but Steve shuts off the car and both of them get out. _They're walking me to the door, such gentlemen,_ you think to yourself. The entire evening you have been so pleasantly affirmed of their chivalry, and this moment is another tally for their charm and kindness. Once at your door, you turn to them with what you hope is a serious look on your face.

"I mean it. You guys need to make sure to rest not only your body but your soul too every once in a while. And I know you aren't in this part of the country very often, but if you are and you need a good meal, you know where I live! I'm a pretty good cook if I do say so myself, and I'd love to have you over. I can make whatever you'd like, and you're welcome to stay for as long as you'd like or just to eat and run! Or I can bake some cookies or maybe scones for you to-go, or muffins! Bread, I could make bread too--"

You cut yourself off and bashfully stare at your feet for a moment once you realize that you're obviously babbling. You look back up and they both have a smile on their face that almost makes your knees buckle.

"Thank you for the invitation. We will definitely be visiting again," Bucky says.

Steve chuckles and lifts his arm to rub the back of his neck with his hand, then looks at you with a bashful smile. "We better be going. I wish we could stay longer, but we're happy to have had the chance to show a little more of our appreciation for what you did."

"I'm so happy to have been able to help. Honestly, it's not a big deal."

He moves toward you and reaches out for a hug. You take a small step into his arms as he wraps them around your shoulders. "It is," he quietly says in your ear. He holds you firmly, and after a moment you tentatively move your arms around his waist. "And thank you for the lovely evening," he murmurs before he lets you go. 

As Steve moves away, Bucky steps forward and puts one arm around your shoulders and the other around your waist. His hug doesn't last as long as Steve's, but he gently kisses your cheek as he pulls away. He grins at you as you blush and says goodbye. Steve says goodbye as well as he turns to walk away. Bucky walks backwards facing you, his smile growing with each step, and then he turns forward, jogging a few steps to catch up to Steve, bumping shoulders with him as they approach the rental car. Your hand moves to where Bucky kissed you on your cheek and you feel how warm your face is, even on this cool evening. They get back in the car, look back at you and wave. You wave back with the hand not on your cheek, barely finding it in you to smile. You stand on your porch and watch until they turn the corner and stay frozen for long after.


	3. Late-Night Breakfast with a Side of Feelings

The next time you see Steve and Bucky, it is very late on a weeknight and you are already in your pajamas. 

 

It's been about two weeks since they took you out for dinner, and you've been wondering if they really would come back. But here they stand on your front porch, dressed in casual clothes that have seen better days, looking exhausted.

"Hey, sweetheart. Is it too late to ask for that meal?" Bucky asks.

"Never," you reply without hesitation, and you beckon them into your living room. They both take their boots off to rest next to your own pile of shoes by the door. Your cat immediately comes over to greet them. Bucky bends down to let her sniff his fingers. He's not wearing the glove he had covering his left hand like last time. You are happy to see the evidence of how comfortable he already feels around you. 

"So! How about a big breakfast? Pancakes, eggs, bacon... I have potatoes to make some home fries if you'd like. Obviously some toast, I think I might have some fruit to cut up too..."

"That all sounds perfect, you're an angel," Bucky replies. Steve nods, then bends down to let the cat sniff his hand.

Bucky follows you into the kitchen as you continue to talk about what you'll make, how you'll make it, and whether there's anything that you need to change based on their opinions. Bucky smiles as he listens to you, clearly amused with your rambling. Steve stays in the living room. 

"You know, you should give me a heads up that you're coming over! That way I can have the food ready by the time you arrive."

"We'll figure out a way to do that, but honestly, we don't mind waiting. Right, Steve?" Bucky glances back at Steve in the other room, and you hear Steve murmur an assent. 

You pause your mixing to look over to Bucky. "Is he alright?" you ask quietly. 

"Don't worry about him. We can talk about it once we're all eating."

 

You want to ask them more about how they are doing, but you also don't want them to feel pressured to talk about their work. You already know what their work is. Their work is stress and bravery and adrenaline and terror wrapped up into one hyper-muscled package, and you don't want to bring that up, knowing it might take their focus away from you and move it to worry about something else. You also know that they won't be able to share any details. But that doesn't stop your internal curiosity. 

 

You move around your kitchen, getting out all the ingredients, chopping the vegetables, turning on the oven and stove, and getting everything as organized as possible to make cooking efficient. Bucky leans against the counter at the furthest end of the kitchen, trying to stay out of the way but clearly wanting to be close. 

"You know, if you guys keep showing up to hang out, I bet the government is going to get real curious about me," you say with a laugh.

Bucky and Steve stay silent for a beat too long. You look over to Bucky and he grimaces while running his metal hand through his hair. "Well, basically the moment after you handed us the keys to your car, SHIELD ran a pretty thorough background check on you."

"Oh," you say, and pause as a strange mix of emotions runs through you. It's not like you are so naive to think that you are entirely private and without government surveillance, but it's a bit of a jolt to be so aware of it. However, your heart, being entirely made of sentimental goo, considers how these two men are standing in your house and wouldn't be there without that privacy invasion. "Well, I guess it's no that different than me doing a google search on a blind date before I meet them." You laugh again. "And if you're still here, SHIELD must have found out just how vanilla I am." You didn't mean to sound so self-deprecating, but you can hear it in your tone after you've finished speaking. 

Steve clears his throat quietly. "Vanilla is my favorite flavor of ice cream."

Your eyes widen while your heart beats a little bit faster in your chest. This is the first full sentence Steve has said since they arrived, and even though he probably doesn't mean to imply anything, your cheeks flush. You peek around the corner to look at Steve in the living room. He's currently looking at your bookshelves. 

"Oh yeah?" you ask. He turns his head a little to look at you, then dips to stare at his feet. You continue, "There's a place nearby that makes the most incredible vanilla ice cream. So good I never even consider a different flavor."

Steve looks back up at you and smiles a little. You feel your heart melt just from that tiny lift in his cheeks.

 

You go back to the kitchen to finish making breakfast. Steve stays quiet, but you feel settled about him; still curious as to why he's so distant, but less worried that he's mad at you or uncomfortable in your space. Bucky tells you about the books he read since he last saw you. One of them was your recommendation; you tell Bucky about how you spent the last two chapters crying because you were so emotionally involved in the story. Bucky talks of how moving the characters' devotion was to each other, and how it really affected him too. 

"No tears though?" you tease.

He laughs, "No tears, but still heartbreaking."

Steve speaks up again, "What book are you guys talking about?"

You flip the pancakes and then go into the living room bookshelves to give him the book. "It's one of my all-time favorites. Though you like podcasts, so maybe you'd enjoy an audiobook more? It's a beautiful story. A modern classic."

Steve takes the book and goes to sit on the couch with it. Your cat jumps up next to him and chirps, begging for attention. Steve holds the book with one hand while his other scratches her gently on the head between her ears. You can practically hear her purr from across the room. 

 

Going back to the kitchen, you ask them both, "How do you guys like your eggs?"

Simultaneously they answer, "Sunny-side up."

Bucky had been in the doorway while you were giving the book to Steve, he moves back to the counter once you return to the stove. "Do you need any help? You have a lot going on."

Steve speaks up from the other room, "You really didn't need to do all this for us."

You can't see Steve, but you can see Bucky give him a _look_.

You decide to ignore it for now. "I really don't mind. I love cooking for my friends, and I'm really happy you both stopped by."

 

It only takes a few more minutes to finish breakfast, and once you're done, you rinse your hands in the sink and turn your head to Bucky, "So do you guys have as hearty of an appetite as I hope you do?"

He grins, "You bet, sweetheart."

You direct the men to sit at the little table in your kitchen. You pile their plates with food and even give yourself a small helping. After a few minutes of quiet while everyone starts on the meal, you take the opportunity to talk.

"So Steve, can I ask what's going on? You're so quiet!"

"Nothing! It's nothing."

"Ok! Well, I'm really happy to see you, but I don't want you to be uncomfortable or anything," you cringe internally; you can hear your mother's passive-aggressive tone in your own voice. Neither of the men seem to notice like you do, but Bucky gives Steve a huge look of disapproval.

Steve sighs. "I'm really happy to see you again too. I just," and pauses, looking up at the ceiling.

"Careful now, you might actually express a feeling," Bucky says with a smirk.

"Shut up, jerk." He takes a huge breath, brings his face back down and glances from Bucky to you, then looks down at his plate. "I feel like we're imposing and taking advantage of your kindness. And it's not like we brought anything or contributed."

 

You're a little stunned by his confession, so you pause for a moment to take in what he said. You've always been a caretaker. You cherish opportunities to cook for your friends, to have them over for tea and a chat, to bring them care-packages when they're sick. It's something they've all come to expect, but you can also see how overwhelming that might be for someone new.

You take a deep breath, and look over to Steve to see him looking back at you. Immediately when you make eye contact, he looks down at his plate again. You want to laugh at how bashful he is, but you also want to give your words some gravity, so you try to keep your face from looking too teasing.

"Steve, you don't know me very well yet, and that's okay! I don't want to push my luck, but I do hope we become closer over time. What I will tell you is that this--" you pause to wave your arms, motioning to both of them and the entire table, "--taking care and feeding my friends, is my favorite thing to do." You duck your head a little to get Steve to look you in the eyes. You speak quieter now, "You aren't taking advantage of my kindness; you're giving me an opportunity to express it."

The table is quiet. You don't have any music playing, and without the sounds of cooking, all that you can hear is the ambient city noises out the open window. The silence brings a lot of weight to the look Steve gives you, full of intensity and, what you'd been hoping for, some understanding. It causes you to flush. Your honesty makes you belatedly bashful, so you look away from Steve to glance at Bucky but get no relief, seeing a similar look on his face.

 

Bucky breaks his eyes away from yours to nudge Steve. "Hear that? She wants us here and she wasn't just saying it last time. It's about time you accept her kindness too instead of sulking around." You giggle a little by the way he says _sulking_.

Steve drops his head and pushes some of his pancakes around in the syrup. He looks back to you. "Thank you for letting us stop by. The food is delicious."

"Thank you, Steve." You look down at your own plate, "If you'd like, you're always welcome to bring a plant or flowers. I love having those around my place. Or if you have a particular ingredient you'd like for me to cook with, that works too! But you are never obligated to bring anything except yourself. You are enough."

You flush again, knowing that you are revealing a lot about how soft your heart is. You quickly change the subject. "Alright, so what other types of food do you guys like? I want to have ideas for next time." You pause again, then, "I mean, not that you have to come back, I know you're really busy and--"

Bucky interrupts, "Sweetheart, don't worry so much. We'll be back."

You can't stop the huge smile from taking over your face. "Really?"

Steve reaches over to squeeze your hand currently resting on the table. "Really."

 

After they have had seconds of pancakes and potatoes and cleared their plates of every crumb, both of them try to argue with you about doing the dishes. You stop them from touching a single plate in the sink. 

"Not this time, guys. Don't worry about it, okay?" You have to literally herd them out of the kitchen, and you shamelessly take the opportunity to look from their broad shoulders down to their honestly too-perfect butts. 

"So do you guys have a place to stay tonight? It's so late!"

"We're catching a red-eye back home, don't you worry about us." Bucky says.

"I was worrying about you before I even met you, it's only gonna be worse now."

Steve turns to fully face you. "We'll contact you before we show up next time, but we need to figure out a way for you to securely contact us--"

"--Because the last thing we would ever want," Bucky interrupts, "is for the wrong people to find out about you."

Steve glares, "Which is why we're taking every precaution. It's not because we don't want to hear from you."

"You really will be visiting again?" you say, completely failing at keeping the hope and excitement out of your tone.

"Yeah," Bucky beams at you, "You'll definitely see us again, and Steve will be pleasant from the start."

You can tell Steve is about to apologize again, so you cut him off, "Don't worry about it, Steve. We talked about it, and I understand why you were feeling that way." You give him a bright smile, then reach out to squeeze his upper arm in reassurance. His bicep is too firm for your hand to really press into. Your eyes widen as you realize it, and you quickly withdraw your hand try to think of something else since you're sure people comment on his physique enough as it is. But when Steve smirks at you, you know there was no chance of hiding what you were thinking.

 

As you walk them out, Bucky walks a step behind you with his hand gently resting on the middle of your back while Steve stays a step ahead. He turns around after you're all outside and reaches to hug you. His embrace is warm, and now so close to him, you become very aware of how his entire body is as solid as his bicep. He smells like the breakfast he just ate, as well as linen-scented laundry detergent and a little bit of sweat. 

As he pulls away, you drop your hands to his forearms. "I really mean it. I would love any opportunity to cook for you and enjoy your company. You are always welcome."

Steve looks at you for a moment, really looks, like he's checking one final time for any posturing or falsehoods. You hold his gaze and smile. As you drop your hands from him, he reaches back with his own, gives a little squeeze and smiles. "Okay. I'll be back soon."

After your moment, you both turn to Bucky and see him looking at the two of you with a triumphant expression. "Aw, Stevie's usin' his words."

You look back to an exasperated Steve and stage-whisper, "Is he always this terrible?" 

Steve grins at you, "Always." He turns back to Bucky and says flatly, "Are you done."

"Not yet," Bucky says as he takes the few steps over to you. He reaches out to gently grab your hand and pull you toward him to wrap his arms around you. Though his metal arm feels firm in a different way from Steve's solid muscle, it doesn't make you feel any less treasured and cozy. His hold lingers just a beat or two longer than a friendly hug would, and you take the moment to take a deep breath and let it out with a sigh. Bucky smells a little muskier than Steve, but you're able to infer that they use the same laundry detergent. He gives a final squeeze and moves away slightly, turning his face to press his lips to your cheek. He lingers, and you can feel the warmth of his breath, your own held while you stand still. 

"Until next time," he says gently, backing away to where Steve is standing in your front yard, swaying a little and looking at his feet. 

Steve lifts his head up, "Thank you for a great meal."

You're a little stunned, so you just nod and lift your hand up to give a gentle wave. They get into their car and drive off, while you stay frozen on your porch watching them disappear around the corner. After another moment, you shake your head a little, bringing yourself out of your daze.

When you go back inside, you decide to go straight to bed, leaving the dishes for tomorrow.


	4. A Date

For the fourth visit, Bucky arrives alone. You received a text message while you were at work from an unknown number: _SEE YOU TONIGHT, SWEETHEART. PICK US A NICE PLACE TO GET DINNER._ You proceed to spend the remainder of the day considering places to eat, things to wear, and daydreaming of what might happen in a few hours. Part of your heart thinks about how "nice dinner" usually means "date," but you don't want to get your hopes up when you're just happy to spend time with Bucky and Steve whenever they can make it. (Also, a date with the two of them? You're not sure how that would work anyway.)

 

Once you get home from work and after spending the remainder of the afternoon considering your wardrobe, you decide to overdress rather than under. Your outfit won't feel out of place for the restaurant you've chosen either. This will be your first opportunity to wear the skirt since you bought it - its material is too fancy for everyday wear - and your blouse adds an extra delicate touch. Just a few moments after you finish putting on a dark lipstick, you hear a knock at the door. Checking through the peephole, you're surprised to just see Bucky and not Steve. 

You open the door and are left a little breathless at the sight in front of you: Bucky looks so handsome. His hair is tied back in a bun resting at his nape, he's got a crisp white dress shirt on with the top two buttons left open, gray pants and the matching suit jacket held over his left shoulder by his metal hand, covered with a black glove. The way he smiles at you gives away just how good he knows he looks and what he's doing to you. Once he catches your eye, he makes a point of looking you over as well, and you flush a little from the attention.

He takes a step closer to you. "Well, aren't I glad I wore my Sunday best? Need to look sharp standin' next to you."

You blush even more and decide to flirt a little. "You're a real sweet-talker, aren't you? If you showed up to church on a Sunday looking like that, they'd kick you out to keep all the partitioners from having sinful thoughts."

"Oh yeah?" His face shifts from pleasant to sultry in a heartbeat, and his voice drops a little, "You thinking some sinful thoughts, sweetheart?" 

"You shush," you tease as you gently slap his chest (and that pec is _way_ harder than you could have even imagined). "Do you want to come in while I grab my things? I'll just be a moment."

"Take your time," he says, stepping inside. As you leave the room, you see him crouch down to greet your cat.

 

"Where is Steve tonight?" you ask from your bedroom.

"He had to attend a publicity gala with some of the other team members. He says hello and that he plans to visit soon."

"A gala? How extravagant. How come you aren't attending?"

"Lucky for me, everyone still finds the Winter Soldier too intimidating to invite to civilized events."

Upon re-entering the living room, you take the opportunity to raise your eyebrow at him, "So you're saying that the brooding, dark and mysterious man at all the press events is just to keep you from having to socialize in a tux?"

Bucky smirks, "Well, and to terrify my enemies. Don't go ruining my reputation."

"If it means I get you to myself, I'll be sure to tell everyone who asks that you're cold and distant."

 

Once you have everything you need in your clutch, you put on your heels and lead Bucky to the door. As soon as you lock up the apartment, you turn around to Bucky holding out his arm for you to take.

"How anyone thinks you're anything but a gentleman, I'll never know."

Bucky smiles, "So where are we going? Do I need to drive?"

"No, it's actually right around the corner. Oh! I should ask, do you like seafood? That's the place I chose but I have a back-up if you--"

He cuts you off, "Seafood is perfect. Stop worrying. I'm here to see you. The food is just a bonus."

"You might have a shellfish allergy that's not listed on Wikipedia! I have to check," you tease.

He groans. "I can't believe I have a Wikipedia page."

"Don't worry, there's nothing about what a softie you are," you say with a crinkle in your nose.

 

You arrive at the restaurant and the place is packed. You hadn't made a reservation since you weren't sure when Bucky would be arriving, but you know there is full service at the bar and you can see some open seats, so the host leads you over to the end of the row. Bucky takes the wall seat and immediately rotates his chair to be turned to you. The bar seats are much closer together than a table would have allowed, and as soon as you sit down, Bucky smiles. You can tell that he has realized the same thing. The host lists the specials and then leaves some menus. As you browse the drink list, you see Bucky surveying the room from the corner of your eye. You like this place; it is small, but it has an open kitchen so it feels much larger. The walls are white tile and all of the counters are metal. Bright jazz plays softly. Even though there are a lot of people in the room, you have no trouble hearing Bucky when he speaks gently next to you. A few of the cooks recognize you and wave.

"Alright darlin', since you obviously know everyone in this town, why don't you tell me what's good here."

"Well, I certainly can't take you to a bad place. Plus, they always make me feel special and ritzy. A simple girl like me likes that sometimes." You pick your menu up, "So what kind of seafood do you like?"

 

Conversation with food is one of your favorite things, and your evening with Bucky is one of the best times you've had in several months, if not years. Bucky is endlessly charming, but you enjoy his wit the most. His comments are sharp and quick; he keeps you on your toes without pressure to be anyone but yourself. In the back of your mind, you keep asking yourself, _is this a date? This is a date, right? Surely this is a date._

 

The two of you order a three-course meal, sharing every dish. You normally wouldn't bother having a dessert, but there is no way that you want this night to end any sooner than it needs to. As the evening has progressed, you've been trying to test whether or not this is a date by using The Signals. You're not sure he knows them, but you also feel that the "touch the forearm when you're laughing" is pretty timeless. By dessert, he's resting his hand on your knee, and you feel confident that the evening really has been a date. 

 

You stay until closing, and Bucky doesn't seem to be in any greater rush than you. When you would normally pay the bill, you find out that Bucky already paid it while you were in the restroom an hour earlier. 

"Gee, mister! Are you a spy or somethin'?" you say with an exaggeratedly shocked tone. He chuckles as he stands and picks up his coat from the back of his seat. You grab your clutch and take his arm again as you walk out. When you step outside to start the short walk home, you involuntarily shiver at the night chill. Bucky immediately puts his coat around you, and you can't help but feel a tingle of pleasure in the base of your stomach from being completely surrounded by his rich masculine scent. You're both quiet as you walk, but your silence is less of a comfortable feeling rather than an anxious curiosity. You know that you want to invite him inside once you get back to your apartment, mostly because you don't see him very often, but also because... well, you genuinely want to know where he will take this if you're somewhere private. 

 

Once you reach your door, you turn to him and say, "wouldyouliketocomeinside?" You realize a beat too late that you didn't even use the coffee excuse. Bucky's smile lets you know his answer, and he follows you in. 

You want to stick to the modern courting ritual as much as possible, so you know that it's time to offer him a drink. You step out of your heels and gesture to your couch while walking to the kitchen to grab some cups of water, but Bucky doesn't go to the couch like you expect, instead following a few steps behind you. As soon as you stop to open the cabinet for glass, you feel his body heat at your back. You turn around to him with a glass in your hands not yet looking him in the eyes, and you feel his fingers touch your chin and gently lift your face to look at his. He lifts his eyebrow in what is a very clear question, and as soon as you slightly nod your head, he leans in. You close your eyes and rise slightly to your toes to meet him. 

 

The kiss starts with just a light pressure of your lips together. After a moment, you pull yourself out of the sensual shock and start to engage, kissing back into his soft lips. You open your mouth slightly, and he pulls your bottom lip between his, sucking gently before opening again, and with a breath, he shifts his hand to your neck. The kiss stays gentle and slow for another few moments before Bucky pulls back and you both take a shared breath. 

You immediately giggle. Bucky leans back a little more to look you in the eyes, and asks in a hushed tone, "And what are you giggling about?"

You sigh. "You are the most amazing dream, and I can't believe I'm living it."

"So that's your happy sound?"  


"I'm so happy."

"You're a dream too if you keep kissing me so sweet--"

You surge up to your toes to kiss him again, cutting him off. This kiss already has more heat than the last; mouths moving over each other faster, tongues gently running over the other's lips. You finally place the cup you've been holding on the counter behind you and put your hands on the sides of his neck. He moves his hands to your waist and pulls you closer. 

 

You kiss for minutes more, and after tilting your head up to reach his lips for so long, Bucky grabs your waist and lifts you to the counter. You let out a little squeal the moment your feet leave the ground. You giggle again and keep your eyes shut as he drags his lips down your throat. You can feel his smile pressed there between each of his kisses.

 

Bucky's hands move from your thighs to your arms and neck, then through your hair. Your hands stay focused on his neck and face, gently scratching the hair at the base of his neck and pulling soft moans from his throat. You drag your mouth to his cheeks, then jaw, moving to gently take his earlobe between your lips and suck. As soon as you do, his hands quickly return to your thighs and he lifts you from the counter. You flail for a moment then wrap your legs around his solid waist. You take his face into your hands and and look him in the eyes before kissing him as he walks you both back to the living room and onto the couch.

 

Bucky sits down with you in his lap, your legs fold around the sides of his, and your skirt pushes up and drapes off to the sides. You pull back a little to look at him; his eyes are already on you, half-lidded and a little crinkled from the smile on his lips. 

"God, you are so handsome. And you look incredible tonight, you really know how to make a girl feel special."

"You deserve it all and more, sweetheart."

You smile again, and drop your eyes from his face, feeling bashful. "I really like hearing you call me that. I have ever since that Saturday morning when you borrowed my car. I was ready to spend the rest of my life telling people about how _the_ James Buchanan Barnes winked at me and called me sweetheart."

Bucky grins and then leans in to kiss your neck. He speaks softly, and you can feel the words more than you can hear them. "What else do you like, sweetheart?"

You moan a little, unintentionally rolling your hips a little in his lap.

"Well that's one way to tell me." Bucky's hands move to your bare legs, running his fingers up and down your thighs.

"That feels really good, Bucky," you whisper.

You return your lips to his and you continue kissing, meanwhile his hands drag from your thighs to your knees and back again. You pull gently on his bottom lip with your teeth, then slide your lips across his cheek to his ear. You whisper, "And what do you like, Bucky Barnes?" You feel a pinch of pride at how sexy you sound and the way you hear Bucky's breath hitch.

"You're drivin' me wild. You, sweetheart. I like you."

You giggle again, but this time, Bucky chuckles too. 

"You and your giggles. Glad to know I'm keepin' you happy."

"It's not every day that such a handsome, kind, and witty fella says that he likes you!"

"They should be linin' up for the chance to be with you. But that's their loss."

You feel yourself flush at that, and you tuck your face into his neck, rubbing your nose a little against his skin. You quietly whine, "Bucky..."

"God, your blush could give Stevie's a run for his money. I bet you're a terrible liar, aren't ya?"

You press a kiss to his neck. "The worst."

He leans back slightly so that he can turn your face toward his with two fingers to your chin. Maybe this is just your new state of being, a continuous blush. You can barely look at him without feeling your cheeks become even redder.

He doesn't say anything else, he just leans in and presses a gentle kiss to your lips. His attention almost overwhelms you. You sigh and press your lips to his again, this time you can feel more heat in every place you are touching. You both start to use more tongue, your teeth start to pull and bite more, Bucky runs his mouth down your neck and sucks the skin enough that you absently note that there might be marks in the morning. His hands haven't left your body and continue running up and down your legs, each pass going higher and revealing more skin as he pushes your skirt back. At first you're too distracted by his mouth to notice, stimulated by every point where your bodies touch, but when his fingertips brush high enough to dip just under your panties, you shudder and flinch at the same time, pulling your lips from his abruptly. His eyes focus and become concerned, searching your face for what's wrong.

"Is it okay if we, um, don't do that tonight?"

"Of course," he says as he starts to pull back his hands from your thighs completely. You look down and grab them, holding them just above your knees. 

He catches your eyes again and asks, "Is everything okay?"

"It's great. It's beyond great. I'm still not entirely sure that I'm not dreaming. It's just..."

Bucky says your name softly. "Please tell me."

"I don't have a lot of good sexual experiences?" You don't mean to lift your voice higher at the end, but it happens anyway as your nerves take over. "Too many men looking for a fling, too many men who only cared about their own pleasure and left me feeling broken and self-conscious for not finding my own."

Bucky moves to pull you close to him, and gently pushes your head to lay on his shoulder, then wraps his metal arm around your back and puts his other hand into your hair.

You sigh. "I realized a while ago that I can't do one-time flings anymore. I gotta take the sexy stuff slow, otherwise I feel like shit in the morning when I wake up alone in more ways than one." Bucky squeezes you tighter but doesn't interrupt.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to send you mixed signals," you say quietly. You decide that you've already opened up this much, you might as well keep going. "I like you a lot, Bucky. More than I probably should considering how little time we've spent together, but I do and I don't want to get too attached only for my heart to get crushed when reality comes crashing back." You feel the pressure of tears starting to build, and regret the turn this evening has taken. Your only solace is how tightly Bucky's arms keep you against him. He has remained silent the entire time you've been talking. You sniffle a little, but take a few more moments until you're relatively confident that you won't burst into tears. 

Bucky's hand slips from your hair to the back of your neck, and he gives a slight squeeze. You lift your head from his shoulder but don't look at his face. You keep your eyes fixed on your hands gripping the bottom of his shirt. He brings his fingers to your chin, again, gently pulling your face up to look at his. He leans in for a gentle kiss, but breaks away almost as soon as his lips touch yours.  


"I never want you to feel uncomfortable around me," he says. "I want you to feel safe. You've trusted me from the start and I want it to stay that way, okay?"

"Okay."

"I like you a lot too. I can tell you already know that whatever continues between us is going to be pretty unconventional, so you keep telling me exactly what you want and how you feel. That'll make it easier in the midst of everything else."

"What do _you_ want, Bucky?"

"Right now? I want to kiss you for a bit longer, how about that?"

You nod and lean back in. Bucky leans back and you pause, looking up from his lips.

"This might not be easy, sweetheart. I won't be able to be here often, or for long, and we won't be able to communicate much in between. I don't want to break that beautiful heart of yours by not bein' honest up front."

"But... when you're here," you pause to swallow your fear and push past your hesitation, "I can be with you? Take care of you?"

"You don't need to..."

You level him a look. "Are you going to pull a Steve?"

He laughs. You feel so relieved to hear his laugh again. "Okay, okay. Yes, you can take care of me. And yes, I want to be with you, and I want you to be with me."

You smile, and you feel more at ease than you have all evening. "Thank you for telling me, Bucky."

 

Your kisses after that are slow and easy. They don't have the intensity from before, but you feel happier and more comfortable. Eventually they slow down completely, until you just rest your head on his shoulder.

"I guess it's a good thing Steve didn't come tonight, huh?"

"You two are real similar in a lotta ways, but he is absolutely terrible at figuring out his feelings. Been keeping them locked down out of obligation for too long. Once he gets his shit together, he'll make his own moves."

"His own... moves? What?"

"No need to worry about that now, sweetheart. Gimme another kiss, then I gotta be on my way."

You put your hands on both sides of Bucky's face, rubbing your thumbs along his sharp cheekbones. You take a moment to look at this beautiful man who has, in the last thirty minutes, shown you more understanding and kindness than any other in your past. You move your thumb to pull lightly on his bottom lip. His lips pucker after a moment to kiss your thumb. You dip your head back down to kiss him again, trying to pour every ounce of happiness, appreciation, and contentment into those last few minutes with your lips on his.

He hums as he pulls away then leaves a gentle trail of kisses on your cheek. You get up off his lap and burst into laughter once you finally look at him without the heat of lust masking your senses. Bucky looks absolutely disheveled. Lipstick all over and around his lips, littered on his face and down his neck. Bun completely loose with hair falling out, his crisp white shirt no longer crisp. 

"You better clean up in the bathroom, I've really done a number on you."

Bucky smiles at you. "I don't know, sweetheart. If it's anything like the vision I'm looking at right now, I'd say it's a pretty great look."

"Bucky, I don't think I'll ever be able to stop blushing with you around."

"That's another good look on you, I certainly don't want you to stop."

"Go clean up! You're too much!"

When he turns to walk away, you say, "I'll invest in some better lipstick!"

 

You go to the kitchen to wash the lipstick off your mouth and the surrounding area. When you come back to the living room, Bucky is redoing his bun. As he picks up his suit jacket, you can't resist asking, "So you really mean it? You'll be back?"

"Whenever I can. Steve and I are still working on a safe way for you to contact us."

"Okay. I'm really happy you could make it tonight. Thank you for such a lovely evening."

"I only wish it could have been longer. But there's always next time," he says with a wink.

You walk him out the door. He turns back to you and you lift your face to his without a thought. 

"So beautiful," he whispers, before one last light and brief kiss. "I'll see ya soon, sweetheart. Take care of yourself."

"Thank you for everything, Bucky. Be safe."


	5. A Movie Day (and a Serious Discussion or Two)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two quick things: 1) _Very_ brief homophobic language in the middle of the chapter, see end notes for details. 2) The petnames "babygirl" and "doll" start up in this chapter and will continue to be used throughout the story. I know some people aren't into certain petnames, so I just wanted to give a heads up!

**** The next visit, both Steve and Bucky are back and they bring movies and two large bags of equipment. 

 

You get another text from an unknown number: _Any chance we can spend the whole day together tomorrow? We'll stop by between 0700 - 0800._ You're glad they've given you a 24-hour notice so that you can move an appointment and clear your Sunday schedule. 

 

It's been about three weeks since your date with Bucky, and though you knew what you were getting into, you still find it tough not to constantly pine for his kisses and touch. You assume that "we" means they'll both be visiting, and although you wouldn't mind more private time with Bucky, you're really excited to see Steve again. 

 

You spend the rest of Saturday cleaning, grocery shopping, and meal prepping. You are happy to have some busy work to distract you from the week's mundane stresses. You know that if they want to spend the whole day with you that they probably have some activities in mind, but you figure they know by now that you'll plan the meals. 

 

On Sunday you wake up early, too restless to fall back asleep, so you get up to start prepping for breakfast and getting yourself ready. You aim to have breakfast done by 8 AM, knowing it would be better for them to wait a little bit and have a hot meal rather than eat a lukewarm one. 

They arrive at 7:50 and you're showered, dressed, and minutes away from having breakfast on the table. They're carrying large bags and both have bright smiles on their faces when you open the door to greet them.

"We could smell the food walking up to your door, so I'm guessing it's alright for us to spend the day together?" Steve asks.

"Yes, absolutely! And I have more food than I know what to do with, so I hope you guys are hungry."

You turn away but before you've taken a step, your arm is grabbed and gently yanked back. Bucky pulls you into his arms and says quietly, "Not so fast, sweetheart. It's been three weeks and I have been thinking a lot about this," then his lips are on yours and absently you hear Steve chuckle as he moves around you both. 

Bucky pulls away slightly and you let out a sigh. He smiles and turns you back around to continue on your previous path to the kitchen. Steve has a smile on his face and looks away when he realizes you caught him staring.

"What did you guys bring?" you ask, pointing to their bags. "These are huge."

"A lot of stuff, including some movies we want to watch. Think we can have a movie day?"

"Really? Which ones did you bring?"

Steve has a couple comedy options that have been recommended to him, and Bucky really wants to watch some sci-fi. They leave a third choice for you, and you already have a movie in mind. 

 

As you sit down for breakfast, you ask how they've been. They've had one mission and training for that mission, and Steve tells you about the gala. 

"They're never _terrible_ , I just don't like all the brown-nosing I have to do in order to get wealthy people to donate large amounts of money to a cause that should already be funded."

"And you enjoy complaining."

Steve shoots a glare at Bucky. "Well, at least I finally have a tux that I like. Tony made me get fitted."

"Wow, I bet you look incredible in it," you mumble to yourself. 

Steve looks over to you and smiles. You blink, realizing you spoke aloud, and blush furiously. 

Bucky chuckles and nudges your foot with his, "He does."

Steve clears his throat and asks you how you have been since he last saw you. You tell them about your work and some of the events you've attended around the city. You went to your favorite artist's concert and spend a full five minutes recapping the show. Steve asks for the artist's name and you get up to grab a piece of scratch paper to write down all of their albums, the order in which he should listen to them, and which one is your favorite.

When you've finished eating, Steve gets up abruptly, grabs the empty plates and moves to the sink.

"You don't have to do that," you tell him.

"If my assumptions are correct," he gives you a look out of the corner of his eyes as he turns on the water, "and I'm positive they are, you plan to make every meal for us today, which will require clean space and dishes, and I refuse to let you do everything."

You look back to Bucky but he's already getting up from his seat. "You know, he doesn't even do the dishes at home," he says as he walks past your chair. You watch, feeling incredulous as he moves to stand on the other side of Steve and grabs a towel. 

"You guys don't even know where everything goes!"

"No offense sweetheart, but you don't really have that big of a kitchen, so it's not like it will be difficult to figure it out," Bucky replies, smirking.

Steve looks over at you with a huge smile, as if to brag about winning the argument. 

You slouch in your chair in exaggerated defeat. "You both are terrible," you say, followed by a quiet, "thank you."

 

You decide to watch Bucky's movie first. He chose a pretty famous (to you) science fiction movie, one that was ground-breaking for its special effects at the time. You pour everyone a fresh cup of coffee, and the three of you approach the couch.

You look to Bucky, "Who gets to sit in the middle?"

Bucky turns to Steve, and Steve puts his hands on his waist and puffs out his chest. In his Captain America voice, "Well, in the interest of fairness, the person whose movie choice is playing should be the one who sits in the middle."

You burst into laughter, and Steve slouches with a sheepish grin. 

"Is that what he's like on missions?"

"Worse," Bucky says flatly, though you can see the smile in his eyes, "because then he's serious."

You laugh more and get behind Bucky to push him to the middle of the couch. 

With Bucky seated in the middle, you curl up into his side and Steve leans against the arm and, adorably, tucks his feet beneath Bucky's thighs. Bucky stretches his feet out, and starts to lift them up as if to put his feet on the coffee table, but immediately puts them back down.

"You can put your feet on the coffee table, I do all the time."

"Yeah but I feel like my mother is shouting at me from her grave."

"She is," Steve says. 

"Do you want a chair for your feet instead?" you ask.

"Yes...no, then you'd have to get up. Don't worry about it."

"What if I put a pillow on the table, then they aren't directly _on_ the table? You've got socks on, it's fine."

"Uh..." Bucky hesitates.

"How about you keep your feet on the ground like a civilized person," Steve says sternly.

"But I want him to be comfy!" you protest, looking past Bucky to plead at Steve with your eyes.

Bucky's hesitation continues, "But..." 

"No!" you shout over-dramatically. "I've got the final say. Pillow! Feet! Done!" You playfully slam the pillow down on the coffee table. 

Bucky laughs, and Steve rolls his eyes. Bucky grabs you by the waist, causing you squeal a little, and pulls you into his arms, cradling you for a moment and kissing you on your cheek with a loud and obnoxious _MMMWAAH_! He squeezes you again, then places you back down next to him.

"You goof!" you say as you gently slap him on the arm. 

Steve laughs, "That is literally the first time he has ever been called a _goof._ " He uses finger-quotes as he says "goof."

 

◆ ◆ ◆

 

On the screen, the main character dodges a few bullets, then turns back to make a perfect headshot against the enemy.

"I can do that," Bucky says next to you.

You look at him skeptically, then at Steve.

"He did that last week," Steve says with a smirk.

 

◆ ◆ ◆

 

After a lunch of sandwiches, salad, and iced tea, you walk to the ice cream parlor about a mile from your apartment. The day is sunny and the perfect temperature for a walk, and you enjoy the chance to show them around your neighborhood. Within about a block of the parlor, you turn to them and quickly share that an ex works there, and he might be working today. 

"He said we could still be friends when we broke up, but the few times I've seen him since, he's always had a new girlfriend to show off and it's super awkward."

Steve presses up close to you and leans down, "Well, I don't mean to brag, but I've been told that I make other men feel small and inadequate." When you look up at him, he lifts an eyebrow.

"Steven Grant Rogers, they told me you were humble," you chide.

Bucky leans down on your other side, "Now why would he be humble when he's got you on his arm?"

You turn back to Steve who holds out his hand and wiggles his fingers. Bucky puts his hand on your lower back and pushes you forward into Steve. You smile and take hold of Steve's hand, and he pulls you along closer to the parlor. There's a long line that goes out the door and along the side of the shop. The three of you join the end; Steve releases your hand so that he can wrap his arm around your waist, and Bucky stands close on your other side. You've never felt more protected in your entire life and it makes you feel warm from the base of your stomach up through the back of your neck. 

Steve and Bucky are both wearing extra accessories to help make their identities less obvious. You completely understand why, but you also think it's really cute. Steve has a NASA baseball cap on his head with a pair of thick-rim glasses over his eyes that make him look unfairly charming, and Bucky has his hair loosely pulled back with a pair of dark aviator sunglasses to keep anyone from knowing exactly where he's looking. Once he left the house, he put a black leather glove on his left hand, and his long-sleeve navy blue henley covers the remainder of the arm. They almost look like two normal men, but nothing will be able to hide the width of their shoulders or sharp edge of their jaws.

The dark part of your mind starts to let bad thoughts through, the ones that tell you that you don't belong next to them, that you look out of place and everyone can tell, but almost as if he can sense your self-doubts, Steve pulls you a little tighter to his side. When you look up to him, he's looking around, taking in the surroundings. (You can practically see him forming maps and exit plans in his head.) You turn to Bucky and catch him looking back at you, adoration clear on his face and a smile that makes your cheeks feel warm, so you tell the bad thoughts to fuck off and wrap your arm around Steve's solid waist.

After a few more minutes in line, you've moved to a place where you can get a good look inside of the parlor and you watch for long enough to feel confident that your ex isn't working today. But even after you let Steve know, he doesn't release you, only pulls you closer to his side again. He dips his face so that his lips brush your ear and asks gently, "Is this the place with that excellent vanilla ice cream?"

You're a little frozen by the intimate contact, so you just nod.

"Good to know," he says as he pulls back.

You keep glancing over to Bucky, trying to gauge his reaction to Steve's closeness, but he keeps smiling at you, clearly comfortable with everything Steve is doing. He leans in and whispers into your other ear, "We can talk about it all once we get back to your place. For now, just enjoy yourself, sweetheart."

 

Once you've moved so that you're finally inside and can view the menu board, Steve is cheerfully overwhelmed by the choices, sounding like he is moments away from genuinely saying _golly_. Bucky hones in on the malts, and you plan to get a sugar cone with a scoop of vanilla. Bucky raises his eyebrow at your order, and you smile, "Simple girl, fellas. I'm a simple girl." Bucky gives you a look like he wants to say something, but presses his lips together and looks back at the menu.

Steve eventually decides on an ice cream sandwich, delighted that he can choose both the type of cookies and the ice cream flavor; he chooses vanilla after your recommendation. Bucky gets a chocolate malt, and you are very proud to move quickly enough to pay the bill before Steve and Bucky have reached for their wallets.

Bucky pinches your side and Steve leans to speak next to your ear again. "You think you're sneaky, huh?"

"Just took advantage of your distraction. You should know better, Captain." Steve laughs and pinches you right where Bucky had moments ago.

You take them to the back patio and sit together on a bench with you in the middle and both men close enough so that their thighs touch yours. Bucky rests his arm on the back of the bench, sipping contently from the thick straw in his cup. Steve's hands are both occupied by his massive ice cream sandwich, and he keeps making happy sounds. You lick your ice cream, trying to race the inevitable melted drips that will coat your hand if you are not quick. You catch Bucky watching you and tip your cone to him, eyebrows raised. He uses his lips to grab a bite from the top and keeps eye contact with you while he does. You smile and kiss his cheek. 

You turn back forward and Steve gently nudges you with his elbow. "You are so right about this vanilla ice cream."

"I know good food, Rogers."

 

When you all have finished your desserts, you walk back home. At one point, you are animately telling a story and walking backwards ahead of them. You trip on a curb and start to fall back, but both of them reach out to grab you before you hit the ground. You flush at your clumsiness but they laugh while Bucky grabs you by the waist and turns you forward again. 

"Am I gonna have to carry you the whole way back?" he murmurs in your ear.

You laugh and twist to slap his chest. "As I was saying," and you continue your story, slightly less animated than before as you try to pay a little better attention to your surroundings.

 

Once you arrive home, Steve excuses himself to use the bathroom and Bucky pulls you tight against his body and bends to bring his face close to yours. "Do you know how wild you were driving me? Licking that ice cream, not even aware of how obscene your tongue looked?"

You gasp and flush under his aroused gaze. He closes the gap between your faces and kisses you hotly, dominating you and stealing your breath away. His kiss slows abruptly when you hear Steve open the bathroom door again, and he gently releases you from his grip. You stumble slightly as you turn to sit on the couch, and Steve comes back to the living room. With a little shake, you try to get your breathing back to normal and see Bucky grin out of the corner of your eye. 

"Ok, you asked earlier about what was in our bags, and now seems like a good time to tell you about it all," Steve begins and puts his hands on his hips. "We've told you for a while about how we wanted to find a safe way for you contact us, but we needed to be extra careful to set that up. We've both heard too many horror stories of friends and loved ones being found and used for ransom." 

Your eyes widen, and you can feel the blood leave your face. Bucky sees this and comes to sit next to you, grabs your hand, and pulls you into his side with his other arm. "We're not saying this to scare you away, but we gotta be honest because these things really do happen, and we aren't exactly low-profile heroes."

You nod, and Steve continues. "We wanted to be careful and really think of the best way to keep you safe. This is why it has taken us so long to formulate a solution."

Bucky squeezes you a little, "You and I have already talked about how unconventional our relationship will be, and this would be part of that."

"But we need your consent for this, because some might view what we have planned as invasive," Steve says.

Bucky winces, "I mean, it _is_ invasive, but we'll explain it all before you decide if you want to go through with it."

You nod, still a little shaken by the seriousness of what they're sharing with you and how dangerous you realize your life has become just by having them in it. Steve and Bucky proceed to explain all of the equipment they brought in the two bags, which includes a state-of-the-art security system ("It was designed by Tony and includes a version of his A.I."), a new router and modem that isolate your internet connection, the software for an independent VPN that fluctuates between several other countries, and many small cameras, microphones, and motion sensors. They also want to connect your phone to the system and attach a GPS device to your car.

"Is there going to be someone watching me all the time? That's kinda creepy."

"No, there won't be any living person watching you, but the video connects to the security system, so the AI will be," Bucky says.

Steve jumps in, "The system doesn't keep any information that isn't pertinent to your safety."

"What does that mean?"

Bucky hesitates before he responds. "That means the only recordings that it saves for longer than 24 hours would be the ones we'd use for evidence and clues to find you again."

You inhale sharply and feel the pressure of tears push against your sinuses.

Steve sits down next to you and takes the hand not held by Bucky in his. "I'm sorry," he says quietly. "To be honest, we're going overboard with all of this stuff. Tony only recommended a new internet system and a few simple alarms, but we don't want to take any chances. Another reason it took us so long to get all of this ready is because we kept arguing with Tony over it."

Bucky continues, "He still thinks it's more than necessary. But the thing about his security system is that it's _his_ \-- it's not something that is available to the public so any old criminal won't be able to figure it out and break in. Plus, it's sophisticated and intelligent enough to see the danger before it even gets within 50 feet of your door."

Steve nods, then squeezes your hand. "I can't even begin to imagine how overwhelming this is for you, but we really want you to be protected if you keep seeing us."

Bucky rubs his hand up and down your back while you take a few long, deep breaths. He continues, "We don't talk about it when we're here because we really like being able to get a break from what we do, but our lives are really dangerous. And to be honest, calling our lives dangerous is a huge understatement."

 

The three of you sit quietly on the couch together. Steve continues to gently pass his thumbs over the back of your hand. Bucky's hand doesn't leave your back. Your mind is flushed with fear and panic, but you try to stay calm by remembering that they are doing everything in their power to keep you safe. Slowly you come to the realization that if you don't agree to the equipment and monitoring, you are essentially ending your relationship with both of them, or at least any further progression of intimacy. Maybe you're being impulsive and careless, but you aren't anywhere near ready to end your time with these incredible men.

"Okay," you say, so quietly that you aren't sure that they heard you, but Steve takes a sharp breath and Bucky's hand goes still on your back. 

"You're sure, sweetheart?" he whispers.

"Yeah," you look him in the eyes, "I am."

Bucky holds your gaze until you break from it to place a gentle kiss on his cheek. You look over to Steve and do the same. When you start to pull away, you can feel Steve's lips belatedly press on your cheek as well. 

You exhale quickly, and push off the couch to turn around to face them, hands on your hips. They're both looking at you with an expression you can't quite name, but it makes you feel treasured. 

"Alright, emotional discussion concluded. I think it's about time for our next movie, don't you?" you say, trying to push past all of your fear.

Bucky laughs, "Let us get the equipment set up, and then yes, definitely."

"Can we watch my movie next?" you ask. "I think it's time for something super happy anyway."

 

◆ ◆ ◆

 

With Bucky and Steve now occupied by the contents of their equipment bags, you go back into the kitchen to get started on dinner prep. You're still a little shaken, but you don't want to spend the rest of your day with them in a bad emotional place, so you turn on a playlist that always puts you in a good mood and makes you want to dance. After a few songs, you are starting to feel less of the fear and more of the joy to share time with Steve and Bucky. As you give it more consideration, it becomes almost overwhelming, in a good way, to know the lengths they are going through to protect you and to continue to see you. They wouldn't be doing all this if they didn't plan to keep coming back.

As you're standing at the counter, moving your hips and singing along to the music, you look out of the corner of your eye and catch Bucky watching you with interest. You turn to him and keep eye contact, now deliberately singing to him and dancing closer to where he is kneeling with some cords. Bucky grins and eyes you up and down, eventually focusing on your hips as they rock back and forth. You turn and spin, glance coyly over your shoulder and stay synchronized to beat, all while soaking up his attention. You're dancing right next to the doorway of the kitchen to the living room, and when you turn you can see Steve staring at you too. He blushes and laughs to himself when he realizes he's been caught, but you take the opportunity to dance over to him. By the end of the song, Bucky is dancing with you, and you both keep looking over to Steve whose face is _bright red_. 

Once the song is over you ask Bucky, "Is my blush really that bad? Or at least that cute?"

He grins as he pushes some of your hair from your forehead. "Yes."

You smile and stretch up on your toes to give Bucky a kiss on the cheek, then go back to the kitchen to resume cooking. After a few more songs in the playlist, your favorite artist comes on and you sing along as you continue to dance in place while washing some dishes. You notice Steve enter the kitchen, and he leans against the counter but doesn't start a conversation. He's just smiling and watching you.

After a minute or so, you ask, "So my movie is next, right? I cut some veggies and fruit for us to snack on because I am, in fact, capable of making things that aren't cooked in butter. Though with your metabolisms, does it make a difference? Have they studied that? Have you guys had to take a lot of weird tests since you're the only two people in the world with your super-metabolisms? I'm kinda interested in the science of it all." Steve laughs and says your name. 

Your hands are wet and sudsy, so you just turn your head to him and smile. "Yes?" He's much closer now, so close that you can feel his body warming your side.

He smiles back and grabs you at your waist, turning you and pulling your lower body into his. You hold your hands out awkwardly, and before you can reach for a towel, he dips his head to kiss you. With a quiet _mmf!_ of surprise _,_ you relax into the kiss, and one of his arms slides up your back to hold you. You bring your hands, soap bubbles and water dripping off of them, to his neck. You open your mouth a little to take his bottom lip into yours and he wraps both his arms around you and lifts you off your feet. You break the kiss to giggle and touch your forehead to his. You're a little startled when you hear Bucky clear his throat. 

"Those giggles are a good sign, Steve." 

You don't have a chance to feel ashamed or worried about what Bucky thinks based on the way he's smiling at you both. He looks to Steve and motions with his head to the living room. You and Steve look back to each other and smile again. He puts you back down and gives you another light kiss. Pulling your hands back from his neck, your eyes widen at how wet his t-shirt's neckline is.

"Oh, honey! I'm sorry, let me grab a towel."

Steve keeps smiling as you fuss and dab at his collar with one of the kitchen towels you keep on the oven handle. Once you're satisfied, he takes your hand and pulls you back to the living room where Bucky is already sitting on the couch, slouching back with his arms stretched out and head resting on top of the cushion. His eyes are shut when you walk in, but he opens one to see you enter the room and grins. When you sit next to Bucky, he moves to grab your waist and lift you onto his lap, then Steve sits right next to you both and lifts your legs to lay across his thighs. You would feel nervous under other circumstances, but the two of them don't show any reason to be based on their touches and the gentle smiles on their faces.

Bucky clears his throat. "Alright, sweetheart. We're about to, uh," he looks over to Steve, "what's the slang?"

"Info dump."

Bucky laughs. "Right. We're about to info dump on you. So just hear us out, okay?"

You nod, extremely curious.

"So you've probably noticed by now that Steve and I are both interested in you romantically." Steve grins and looks at his hands on your legs, and you enjoy the feeling of his thumbs gently swiping back and forth on your skin. You look back to Bucky.

"Now, it might be a little trickier to notice, but we don't want you to choose between us." He pauses for a moment, likely considering how to phrase whatever he'll say next. "You see, Stevie and I have been together for a long time."

"Since 1937," Steve says, still looking down at his hands on your legs.

Your eyes widen and you whisper, "Wow."

Bucky continues, "Back then, we didn't plan to end up married with some happily ever after, so to speak. But we did want to be together, and we did love each other, still do. So we'd go on dates--"

"--Bucky'd go on dates."

Bucky elbows Steve, "We'd take out a lot of great ladies, sometimes go back to their place, and sometimes come back to our little closet of an apartment to each other. It wasn't perfect, but it worked for us." Bucky takes a deep breath and exhales. "Then the war happened. Everything happened."

You move your hand to his hair and gently pass your fingers through, undoing his bun and kissing his temple. 

"So yeah. All that mess happened, we've almost died more times than we want to count, but we're still here and now it's a bit easier for us to be together too." Bucky pauses to take another deep breath. His face had been getting more and more agitated as he spoke, but when he looks back at you, he smiles again, and it makes your heart flutter.

You see Steve look up out of the corner of your eye, and look over to him. He smiles and continues, "The thing is, we're committed to each other, but we like the idea of another companion. We didn't realize it at the time, but all those dates with other women kinda started it."

"Oh! Are you poly?"

Bucky nods, "Polyamorous? Yeah. Steve discovered that term when he was catching up a few years ago."

"And... you want to see me now too?"

Steve grins wider, "Yeah. We do."

"Do you, I mean," you stutter, "have you had a, um, third person in your relationship before?"

Steve looks to Bucky, and Bucky sighs with a smile. "Peggy was a little more interested in Steve, but she put up with me."

Steve rolls his eyes. "She loved you and you know it." He looks back to you, "Peggy was the one who helped us realize how special it is to be with another person other than ourselves."

"Peggy, as in, former SHIELD Director Margaret Carter?"

"Well, we knew her back when she was Agent Carter, but yeah, that Peggy."

"Wow. She was an incredible woman."

"That she was."

You fall quiet and rest your head on Bucky's shoulder. You're a bit overwhelmed at the idea that just one of them would want to be with you, let alone both, and as much as you want to shout yes and screw any emotional fallout, you've also learned how important it is to listen to your heart.

Bucky gives you a squeeze. "So what are you thinking, sweetheart?" Steve still has one hand on your leg, just above your knee, and his thumb has continued to gently move over your skin. His other arm lays on the back of the couch around Bucky's shoulders. Now that your head rests there, he's moved his hand to let his fingers pass through your hair.

"I mean, everything in me is screaming that I should say yes, I want to be with you both, but I think I want to know more about," you hesitate, "what it would be? Like, in terms of a relationship? I mean, obviously it won't be conventional in so many ways. But what about just, um," you struggle to continue because you are so nervous and you worry that you're going to say it the wrong way. But Steve's hands keep moving through your hair, and Bucky places a kiss to your forehead. It does a lot to help you say what you feel. "Well, what about a form of commitment? I know you guys can't be here very often but... I need to know it means something? Beyond a physical thing, I guess." You take deep breath. "Any further than this and my heart is committed no matter what."

Bucky hums. "Too many have broken that heart already, huh?"

"Yeah," you whisper, and tuck your face into his neck. 

"Well, for one thing, Stevie here isn't a fling guy either," he replies quietly. His throat vibrates against your nose then your lips as you press them gently to his skin. "Now, there might be long periods when we're away, but I think we both want to promise you an emotional commitment. We want to get to know you more, and we both don't want that to end any time soon." Bucky moves to lift your head from his shoulder and gives you another kiss on the forehead, then one on your cheek.

Steve removes his arm from the back of the couch and leans forward to put his hands on your waist. Without any other notice, he lifts you into his lap and mirrors your previous position, with your legs now draped across Bucky's thighs.

"Is it weird that I really enjoy feeling like a doll being passed around?"

"Definitely not," Steve smirks, and kisses your cheek. "And if this were a typical relationship, I think it would be the moment when we ask you to be our best girl."

"Oh!" You exclaim, then giggle, because you're still in a weird state of disbelief and happiness. "Oh wow, yes, that's wonderful." You take another deep breath, "And I know it's not typical, and I know that, for me, it's going to be really hard whenever you're away, but I really like you both and feel so lucky to get to spend time with you."

"Sweetheart, you aren't the only one who's feelin' lucky." Bucky runs his hand slowly up and down your thigh, not going too high, but still causing you to shiver and tingle with goosebumps. He hooks his chin on Steve's shoulder. "We're certainly going to be able to get her real riled up, huh Stevie?"

Steve turns to Bucky and gives him a kiss, then they both look back to you. Just that small gesture of affection between them makes your heart swell. "Yeah, Buck. We definitely will."

You blush. "So are we going to watch another movie or what?"

Steve laughs and squeezes you around your waist, leaning in to kiss your cheek. "You bet. But we brought popcorn, can we make some of that first?"

"Uh huh," you nod. You get off Steve's lap, and he gets up behind you and goes over to the now almost-empty bag lying next to the front door. You expect him to remove a bag of microwave popcorn, but instead he pulls out a jar of plain kernels. 

You burst into laughter. He and Bucky both give you a puzzled look.

"It's nothing, I just should have known that you'd want to do it the old fashioned way."

Steve scoffs, "It tastes better!"

"Of course it does, honey. You're lucky I know how to make it that way."

He smiles, "I knew you would."

 

Once the popcorn is made, perfectly buttered and salted, you all get situated on the couch. It's your movie, therefore your turn in the middle, but you don't actually end up between them. Steve pulls you back into his lap and nuzzles your cheek before kissing it gently. Your legs lay across Bucky's thighs and he sits right next to Steve, metal arm around the back of the couch and the other laying on your legs.

 

◆ ◆ ◆

 

Halfway through the movie, Bucky lifts you back into his lap and they reverse their hold. "My turn with our doll," he purrs.

 

◆ ◆ ◆

 

"That food is drawn tastier than real food looks."

"Right? Makes me crave a bowl of ramen with some thick slices of ham and a perfectly-cooked soft-boiled egg."

"How did the animators do that? Is it the shine? The sparkles? What is it?"

"Magic."

 

◆ ◆ ◆

 

Ever since the reveal about their relationship, Steve and Bucky are significantly more unrestrained in their touches, both with you and each other. You can only imagine how much of a relief it is for them to be able to show their affection without concern for what you might think. You're surprised you didn't notice anything sooner, but you remember that they've had a lot of practice hiding their romance. 

 

While you're all seated at the kitchen table again for dinner, you're trying to figure out how to phrase a question when Bucky reads you easier than a Toddler's First Book.

"What's on your mind, sweetheart?"

"Well, I'm kinda wondering something, but it's probably not any of my business and I don't want to be rude."

Steve chuckles, "I don't think you've said a rude thing the entire time I've known you."

"He's right," Bucky continues, "but really, what's your question?"

You hesitate for a moment, then ask, "When did it change for you? You got together in 1937, is that when you figured out you had feelings for each other?"

Steve and Bucky both look surprised by your question but not upset.

"Huh," Steve says absently.

After a beat of silence, "I know exactly when my feelings changed," Bucky says. 

Steve turns to Bucky, "You do? You remember that?"

"Yeah, I do," he answers. He looks back to you. "I figured out I was queer pretty early on. I think all it took was an older boy walkin' down the street with his shirt off for me to know I was different. But I'm also pretty sure I was noticin' girls around the same time so I probably figured I could ignore the queer or keep it to myself. Should'a known Steve would mess that up." He pauses, then continues quietly, "But, uh, Steve was sick a lot in one way or another. Winter of '34 was really bad."

Steve sits up a little. "I barely remember that winter." 

Bucky gives Steve a sad look. "I couldn't spend every moment with him, but damn, did I want to. He was so sick he had to stay in bed for days at a time. There was one week, the worst week, when I did stay at his side. It was so bad his ma called the priest. Steve wouldn't stop shivering and coughing, and his head was burning from a fever. Mrs. Rogers had to work the night shift, so it was just me 'n Steve. I eventually crawled into bed with him. Hadn't caught anything from him yet, didn't really care if I did. I couldn't just sit at his side anymore. Wrapped my arms around him and prayed that he'd make it through the night. Obviously fell asleep because Mrs. Rogers woke me up in the morning." He pauses and takes a deep breath. "I hadn't thought twice about getting into bed with Steve. I just did it because I wanted to find some way to comfort him, and myself even. But when she saw me curled around Steve, fast asleep, it must'a looked wrong to her. She pulled me into the other room for a talk."

Steve is silent and frozen; his eyes don't leave Bucky's face.

"She was a good woman: faithful, hard-working, and I loved her like my own mother. But she saw things a little differently than I did. Steve was my best friend, and all I wanted was to take care of him, and that's all I thought I was doing. I remember going over it again and again as she talked to me, trying to figure out why it was wrong. She, well, she didn't outright shame me, but she didn't agree with it. Too Catholic, I guess. She said I needed to turn away from sin while I still had the chance."

Bucky turns his head down to his lap. "So even though I hadn't thought anything of it at the time, I certainly started thinking about it after that. Started to notice that my friendship with Steve was different. And it wasn't sexual, at least not at first - but there was a deep commitment that neither of us had ever really acknowledged. And _that_ was weird to be thinking about at sixteen. But I knew I didn't want to live my life without Steve in it. That I'd do whatever I could to keep him safe and happy." Bucky looks up at Steve again, a small smile on his face. You and Steve are speechless, staring at him in astonishment, and for Steve, what must be an undertone of pain.

Bucky shakes his head a little and chuckles. "Eventually, I did start to have some sex dreams about Steve, but they were mixed in with my sex dreams about lots of women and men. Typical teenage boy. After Steve's ma passed and I was able to convince Steve to live with me, things progressed a lot quicker. Hard to avoid your feelings when you're living in the same 450 square foot space.

Steve speaks up, his voice croaking slightly. "That's why I fought against moving in with you for so long."

Bucky huffed, "Yeah, I figured. But you were too broke to keep living alone in your ma's old place."

All of you are silent for a moment as Bucky's story sits heavy in the room. You look to Steve and there must be an expectant look on your face from the way he groans and looks at the ceiling. 

You quickly catch yourself and speak, "You don't have to tell me! It's private!"

"Are you kidding? After that confession of devotion, you think I'm gonna stay quiet?" he exclaims in a teasing tone.

You chuckle and look back to Bucky. "Thank you for sharing that with me."

"It's not something I get to share very often, so I'm glad I got to tell you. I don't have a lot of clear memories from before, but that's one of 'em."

"God, I'm gonna sound like such an oblivious, self-conscious dick."

You snort, and Bucky smirks, "Like that's much different that usual."

Steve looks at Bucky, unamused. You giggle, and when Steve looks back at you, his expression softens. "I, uh," he pauses, "I didn't handle my queerness very well at first. I was in denial for a few years about it." He turns his face to his lap. "I already had enough wrong with me, and then I was a fairy too?"

He grimaces, "Sorry. I know that word isn't appropriate anymore, but it's what guys who looked like me were called regardless of our sexuality. Especially by the assholes who liked to punch me in the face.

"I didn't want to be queer, and then to make everything worse, it was my best friend who gave me these feelings. It felt wrong, and I couldn't stop thinking about how big of a sin I was committing every time I had a sexual or romantic thought about Bucky. So I tried really hard to ignore it. Took a lot of my denial out on Buck, too."

He pauses, and you can't help but ask. "Do you ... still? Think it's a sin?"

He looks up at you and his smile is sad at first, then breaks into relief. "No, not anymore. Not since I came out of the Vita-Ray chamber."

Bucky speaks up, "Why then?"

"Well, Erskine's formula healed me of everything. Absolutely everything. Stepping out of that pod, though I was exhausted, I'd still never felt better in my entire life. But the queer in me, that hadn't changed. When I laid in bed that night, restless and confused, I still thought of you and still felt the same as before. Still hoped for the day I could kiss you again, still loved you more than anyone else. Helped me to really accept it."

You all sit quietly for a moment. You should have known your question would create such a deep and emotional conversation. You clear your throat quietly. "Thank you for telling me, Steve."

"Apparently Bucky and I haven't really talked about it before, so it's nice that you asked."

Bucky continues, "You know sweetheart, I think you're gonna be good for him if you get him talking 'bout his feelings more often."

You giggle and Steve whines, "Buck..."

You lean over to kiss Steve's cheek, and he leans a little toward you to make it easier to reach. "You're cute," you whisper in his ear, then get up to clear the table.

"Don't you dare start the dishes," Steve chides.

"Oh stop, I'm just clearing things up." You rinse the bowls and look out the window. The twilight sky darkens, yellows and oranges brightening the clouds with the remaining light of the day. 

"What would you say to some drinks on the porch? There's a beautiful sunset tonight."

They both look at you and smile. "Sounds perfect," Steve says.

 

◆ ◆ ◆

 

Steve and Bucky each grab a beer from the fridge, claiming that the alcohol won't affect them but they like the taste, and you decide to have a glass of wine. There are only two chairs on the porch, but before you can go back inside to grab another from the kitchen table, Steve pulls you into his lap. The wine in your hand sloshes, and little falls out onto you. 

"Careful, there's a beverage here!" you tease. Neither of them get the reference. "Hmm, looks like we have another movie to add to the watch list."

You all sit quietly, drinking and watching the sky. Steve holds you against his chest with one arm, stroking your side gently, while the other holds your thighs with his beer bottle resting in his hand. Bucky moves his chair to be right next to you, and has once again laid your legs across his thighs. He has one arm around your legs, the other around the back of Steve's chair, elbow bent with his hand running through Steve's hair. After such an intense conversation inside, there's no pressure to talk right now, and nature offers a gorgeous distraction.

Steve and Bucky's hands start to wander, but their touch is tender. You are really enjoying the physicality of their affection; their gentle and non-sexual contact are a comfort and pleasure. They caress their hands back and forth on your legs, arms, and waist and all you feel is good. Once you finish your wine and put the glass on the ground, you're able to wrap your arms around Steve's shoulders and lay your head there. Bucky's hand switches between running through Steve's hair and running through yours.

"I can't remember the last time I just sat and looked at the sky," Steve murmurs.

"Really?" you ask.

"I'm always doing something. And if I'm sitting, it's probably on the quintet, so I'm either debriefing, writing a report, or, if I'm lucky, sleeping."

"Or brooding," Bucky adds.

You look over at Bucky, "Steve would _never_ brood," you tease.

"Don't you start," Steve says, squeezing your middle.

Your smile falters. "Does this bother you? Just sitting and basically doing nothing?"

"It's just different," he says. Then after a pause, "Plus, there's a spectacular view," but he's not looking at the sky. You blush and kiss his cheek.

You look over at Bucky and use one of your hands around Steve to squeeze his arm. "What do you think? Are you antsy like Steve?"

Steve speaks before Bucky can reply. "Oh, he's into _yoga_ now," he says _yoga_ with a flourish to his tone, "so he's _great_ at staying still."

You poke him, "You are terrible! Yoga's a good thing!"

"Thanks, sweetheart," Bucky smiles, "but I'm used to this asshole. Anyway, he's just jealous of how bendy I am."

Under Steve's breath, "Jealous isn't the word I'd use."

You smile and look at Steve, then feel a rush of joy when you catch his blush. "What is the word you would use, Steve?" you taunt.

Bucky chuckles. "You blushin' cuz you're rememberin', Stevie?"

Steve's blush deepens. "Shut up, jerk."

"Yeah, you are."

"Bucky is right, you're adorable when you blush," you say as you lay your head back down on Steve's shoulder. Steve kisses your forehead and you look back up at him, meeting his eyes with a content smile. Steve smiles back, then closes his eyes and leans in to kiss you. His lips are soft and you can taste the hops and acidity from his beer. At first it's gentle, but as soon as you pull his top lip between yours, Steve kisses back fervently, using his tongue to run over your lips and push through to touch the tip of yours. He pulls back abruptly and you fall forward with a small whine. 

While you're still dazed, Steve asks, "Let's go back inside and watch my movie."

You nod, speechless for the moment. Steve sets you on your feet and collects the empty bottles and your glass. After he goes inside, you still stand frozen watching the door he just shut. Bucky comes up to your side, taking your hand in his and bringing it to his mouth to kiss.

"You okay, sweetheart?"

"Yeah, just," you sigh, "overwhelmed. In a good way!" you rush to add.

Bucky smiles, looking down at you. "He always wants to get the last word, and if he can't, he'll either walk away or kiss the daylights outta ya."

"Good to know."

"So," Bucky's face shifts to devious, "what do you say about a little retaliation?" 

You giggle and nod.

He dips down to whisper in your ear, "We'll give him until the last twenty minutes of the movie. Then we'll get him going."

 

◆ ◆ ◆

 

Although Steve's movie choice is a comedy, the mood still feels significantly more erotic than it did earlier in the day - even more than right after the commitment talk. Bucky has his hands on your waist as you go back to the kitchen to grab some more drinks. Before you can open the fridge, he pulls you back into his chest and hums against your skin as he drags his mouth down your neck. 

"Bucky, we're about to watch a movie, do _not_ start anything!" you playfully scold. 

He turns you around in his arms and takes the opportunity to kiss you. It is far from sweet and innocent, but he seems to hold himself back, only using a little tongue.

"Getting it all out of your systems, huh?" Steve says from the doorway to the kitchen.

You pull away from Bucky and look over to Steve. He walks closer to you so that you can put one of your hands on his chest. 

"Well, how else do you expect me to be so chaste for so long when my b-boyfriends are so handsome?" You stutter a little, but it feels exhilarating to say.

Steve raises his eyebrow, "Chaste, huh?"

You go up on your toes, keeping your hand on his chest for balance, and give him a light but lingering kiss. "Chaste," you whisper against his lips. Bucky laughs.

Steve pulls back slightly and hums. "You know, on our way here, Bucky reminded me that he planned to kiss you a lot, so if I didn't want to feel awkward or left out I should make my move. He's been goading me all day."

"Told him all about how sweet you kiss. Had to provoke him into action."

"Oh, you told him about our date?" You don't mean for your voice to sound accusing, but it does. Bucky looks a little taken aback.

"Yeah, I did. Would you prefer that I don't do that?" he asks, sounding hesitant.

"No, I don't mind," you reply quickly, "I know it sounded like I do, I think I was just surprised."

Steve cuts in with his official voice, "That brings up a something to establish: do we want full openness like that... in this?" He motions to you all with a small twirl of his finger.

"I would like that, I just don't know what I can ask about? It's not like you guys can tell me a lot about what you're doing when you're away..."

A sad look passes over Steve's face.

Bucky speaks up first, "I promise those kind of details aren't exciting anyway. But we can tell you about each other. Personal things. Like what we talked about during dinner."

Steve's face becomes very determined. "I don't want to hide from you or lie to you, you know that right?"

"Of course, honey." You step into his space again and cup his face with your hands. "I just want to know you," you sigh, "and today has helped me get a better understanding of just how dangerous your lives are, and the precautions we need to take. It's so much work and effort, I'm surprised it's something you want to do for me."

Bucky steps up behind you, wraps his arms around your waist and rests his head on your shoulder. "You're worth it," he whispers.

 

Bucky maneuvers you into the living room and onto the couch. When he sits, he wraps his arms around you and pulls you onto his lap. You giggle as he peppers your neck and face with kisses. He sets you down on his side, and Steve stops and stands in front of you both.

"Yes, Steve?" Bucky asks with a teasing tone.

Steve looks at his feet. "It's my turn in the middle," he says quietly.

You gasp dramatically, "How rude of me!" and scoot over. You get up to put the disc in the DVD player. Turning back to the couch, you see Bucky curled into Steve's side. "Bucky, how could anyone think you are terrifying? You're a big teddy bear."

"You're sworn to secrecy on that. I have a reputation to maintain."

Steve looks at Bucky with fond exasperation. Bucky turns his face to him and they exchange a sweet kiss. Watching them, there isn't an ounce of jealousy in you, instead you feel affection and a fierce desire to protect this special thing that the three of you are starting today.

"Sweetheart, are you gonna sit?"

They've caught you staring. You blush and nod, then sit on Steve's other side and curl into him. You take his arm and pull his hand to your lips, kissing him gently on the knuckles before bringing his hand back down to hold in your lap. You turn to him, "Ready for a silly comedy?"

 

◆ ◆ ◆

 

"Do you think Nat will get it if I call her Mrs. White?"

"She'll mercilessly tease you for referencing a 30-year old movie like it's new."

"She already does that."

 

◆ ◆ ◆

 

You and Bucky stick to your plan and don't start anything while watching the movie. You are very content just to be cuddling Steve. He is delighted by all the over-the-top characters and he laughs at the slapstick jokes no matter how silly they are. You notice that Bucky doesn't laugh the same way as Steve, but he doesn't look unhappy or bored, just amused in a quiet way.

When about twenty minutes remain, you make eye contact with Bucky behind Steve's head. You quirk your eyebrow, he smirks, and you know it's on. 

You start slow. You know that you're not very good at being subtle, but you make every attempt to try. You can see Bucky tilt his head onto Steve's shoulder, and you take Steve's hand again to start a gentle massage. Slowly, Bucky puts his metal hand to Steve's chest, and you keep pausing your kneading fingers to bring Steve's hand to your mouth for another kiss. Bucky's hand shifts lower.

After about ten minutes, Steve huffs, "You two think you're so smooth, don't you?"

You lift his hand to kiss his knuckles again, leaving your mouth on his skin, breath hot and wet. "Mmm, I don't know what you're talking about."

Bucky slides his hand under Steve's shirt. "Oh, I do."

"But the movie," Steve whines.

"There's only ten minutes left," you whisper. "Don't worry, we won't take much of your focus."

Bucky presses his mouth to Steve's ear. "It's good for you, Stevie. You can always use the multitasking practice."

Steve whines again.

Bucky keeps his hand gently rubbing up and down Steve's abs, gradually going higher towards his pecs. You keep Steve's hand near your mouth, continuing to massage it, but with only five minutes left in the movie, you decide to tantalize him further. You slip your lips around the end of his index finger, suck gently, then use your tongue to run over the tip as you pull your mouth off again. Steve breathes your name. You kiss the tip of his finger and murmur, "Watch the movie, Steve."

Bucky chuckles and presses his face into Steve's neck. "Yeah, Steve. You can't miss the end."

As the last few minutes tick by, Bucky's hand moves to Steve's pec and pinches under the shirt while his mouth licks and nips at Steve's neck. You continue sucking on his three longest fingers, twirling your tongue around each tip until you start to trail light kisses to his palm, then his wrist and up his arm. You hear the credit music start, and you look through your lashes up to Steve's eyes. He is focused on you, pupils blown. 

"Am I distracting you, honey?" You shift onto your knees so that you're facing him. Running your hand through his hair, you savor how his face relaxes from your touch. "Is it always so easy to distract him, Bucky?"

"I don't think he's got any defenses against you, sweetheart."

Steve leans back, his eyes half-shut, looking back and forth from Bucky's face to yours. You lean forward to Steve's face and kiss his cheek then take your mouth across his face to his ear. "Then I better not abuse my power," you whisper. You kiss under his ear, then gently bite his earlobe. As you kiss down his neck, pausing here and there to suck and bite, Steve's voice vibrates against your mouth.

"She's as talented as you are, Buck."

You feel Bucky's metal arm caress your lower back and hear the intimate wet sound of a kiss. When you pull away, it's to the beautiful sight of Steve and Bucky with their eyes shut and lips moving together. You bite your lip as you watch, distracted again. You don't have any experience with three-way make-outs, so you're both nervous and eager to learn.

Bucky pulls away from Steve, "Are you just going to watch all night?"

"Maybe," you tease.

"C'mere," he purrs, wrapping his hand around the back of your neck to bring your face to his. You lose your balance and start to tip forward, but Steve grabs your waist before you fall.

"I don't have superhuman core strength like you two."

"We can adjust," Steve says before lifting you to straddle his lap.

"I think this is my new favorite place to sit," you say, then look over to Bucky, "tied with your lap." He pulls you forward again, kissing and humming against your lips. 

Steve uses his hand to rub your back while Bucky continues giving sweet attention to your mouth. Steve moves his mouth to your neck, sucking lightly, and you can't help the quiet whimper you release. Bucky pulls back from your lips to look you in the eyes, right as Steve bites your neck gently. You gasp and he licks over the spot, continuing down your neck and pulling your shirt so that it reveals more skin near your collar for him to caress with his mouth.

You've kept eye contact with Bucky during this, and he moves his hands to your sides and rubs them up and down. "Is this too fast, sweetheart?" he whispers.

You smile, so grateful for his memory of your history and consideration of your feelings. "It's amazing what a conversation about commitment will do for a girl's comfort and libido," your voice goes higher at the end of your sentence when Steve gives you a sharper bite on your neck.

Bucky grins. "I just wanted to check--"

Steve sucks your skin into his mouth, causing you to cry out.

"--because once Steve gets the OK, it's like unleashing a horny teenager."

You giggle and watch as Steve's other hand slides up Bucky's back, running through his hair then grabbing and pulling. He moves his mouth to Bucky's earlobe, then growls, "S'never seemed to bother you before."

Bucky huffs with a soft laugh before it turns into a moan as Steve licks his ear and moves down his neck. You look at Bucky and smirk, then move forward to capture his lips with yours again.

 

It works like that. You all trade off having lips on other lips or on ears, jaws, necks, and collarbones. Hands roam everywhere but stay away above the belt; you're pretty sure that they're both following your lead when it comes to that. You're not quite ready to progress to that level of intimacy, and it is a blissful experience just to make out with them.

Of course, something embarrassing is bound to happen. You pull away from Steve's neck, and before you can stop it, you yawn. You try to cover your mouth with your hand as quickly as you feel it start, but it's no use. Both Steve and Bucky break their kiss and look at you. There's a beat of frozen silence, then they both burst into laughter. You feel your face burn with heat as it turns as red as a tomato.

"Babygirl," Steve coos.

At the same time, Bucky teases, "Tired, sweetheart?" He reaches into his pocket to get his phone. "No wonder, it's almost midnight."

"I'm an old woman who turns into a pumpkin after 10 PM."

Steve pokes you, "You are sitting on two men who are _literally_ a century old."

"I'm a grandma at heart."

Bucky pinches your side, right in your soft middle, "You are ridiculous." You squeal from his touch, and he continues, "And I don't know any grandmas who kiss like you do."

"That's just because you haven't given them a chance! There's a retirement community down the street, I could introduce--"

"--god, you're as bad as Steve!"

Steve smiles and presses his face into the side of Bucky's, pushing his hair out of the way to whisper in his ear, "You love it."

Bucky sighs dramatically and looks at you with affection, "Yeah."

You bite your lip, then yawn again. "Ugh! I'm sorry."

"It's alright, baby, we should be leaving soon anyhow."

You lean in to give them each another quick kiss, then maneuver yourself off their laps. 

 

Other than all the equipment, Steve and Bucky didn't make much of a mess in your apartment. Bucky comments that he wants to check the security system again and Steve goes to the kitchen; moments later you hear the clinking of dishes and water from the faucet. Steve won't let you help, so you stand behind him and wrap your arms around his waist, laying your head between his shoulder blades. His muscles gently shift beneath your face and twitch under your hands.

"How are you feeling, babygirl?"

You squeeze him a little tighter. You never knew you'd like such a simple pet name, but you really love it now. "I feel wonderful, Steve. How do _you_ feel?"

He is quiet for a moment before you hear the water turn off. His arms shift a little as you watch him grab a towel to wipe his hands, then he turns to face you and throws the towel over his shoulder. His smile is soft and he pulls you in, nosing the top of your head and giving you a kiss. "I feel really happy. And really lucky." He squeezes you again and holds you in his arms. You hear Bucky walk into the kitchen and feel him kiss your head and rest his hand on your back.

"You two are real damn sappy," he says affectionately.

"I am made of at least 75% sap," you reply.

Steve kisses your cheek.

"Oh, I was wondering," you say, "can I tell a few people about you guys?"

"Yeah, you're not a secret."

"Ok. It feels like it with all of the security and infrequent contact, you know? I mean, I get it, I know it's for my safety."

"Sorry it feels that way, sweetheart. Who do you want to tell?"

"Just the friends who come over. They'll be curious of all the new security anyway. I don't want to lie to them about it."

"Oh, that reminds me, I gotta show you how to work all this stuff," Bucky says, and grabs your hand to lead you out of the room. Over your shoulder, you see Steve turn back to the sink to finish the dishes.

Bucky walks you through the system and all the new equipment. He tells you about how the A.I. will announce whomever is approaching any entrance through your phone, and how it uses your contact list to identify them. It will also be able to identify any SHIELD and law enforcement agents. 

"This is why you gotta keep the details of this system quiet. This A.I. pretty much has access to every database in the country."

"Wow, Tony is allowed to do that?"

"Ehhh, not really. But that's never stopped a Stark."

"Could you please tell him thank you for me? It means a lot that he would allow his system to be in the home of some lady he's never met. Actually, if I wrote a note and addressed it to Stark tower, would it get to him?"

Bucky laughs, "Yes, you should. I don't think he'd know what to do with something like that."

You smile and make a mental note to write one tomorrow. Bucky continues to show you the security system, including all of the cameras and sensors inside and outside your place. There are a lot of them. 

He pulls out a fancy-looking tablet and looks at you, "Ready?"

You look back at him, confused, "For what?"

He smiles and punches in a code on the tablet, and it lights up. You hear a series of small beeps around your house, and a voice speaks up from the tablet.

"Hello," a woman's voice greets you. "Please let me know if you need assistance."

"Oh! Neat!" you exclaim, feeling like you just stepped a decade into the future. "Do they have a name? I feel weird just calling them 'The A.I.'"

"Yeah, I think Tony said this was from his H.E.L.E.N. design. HELEN is smart, and she'll keep you safe. No one will be able to sneak up on you or in anyway harm the system without her knowing first. You can use this tablet with her, and she's linked through your phone, and then there's also the sensor in your car."

"What happens if there is an emergency? What do I do?"

"Just ask HELEN for help and she'll do the rest."

Steve comes back into the living room. "It's a neat system, right? Took me a while to adjust to JARVIS, but I've really come to appreciate him."

The three of you silently look at each other for a moment.  You speak up first, "So you have to leave now, huh?"

"Yeah, and you need to sleep."

As you start to reflect on the whole day and everything they've done for you, you take a deep breath, hoping to stabilize your medley of emotions. "Thank you, for everything today."

Steve walks over and wraps his arms around you, pulling you into his chest. "Today has been one of the best days I've had in a long time."

Bucky comes up to your side, and as Steve's arms relax a little, Bucky turns your face toward him with his fingers, and leans forward to give you a light kiss. "Thank you for spending the day with us."

You giggle, feeling affectionate and bubbling with happiness, "You two are just as sappy as me." Steve laughs and pulls you tight to his chest again. He kisses your head and then releases you. 

 

◆ ◆ ◆

 

When they’ve collected all their things and kiss you one last time on your front porch, you feel bittersweet but not sad. When they walk away and promise to return, you know they are genuine given their earlier words of commitment. When they wave to you from the car, you think of the equipment all around you and how they want to keep you safe. When you can't see them anymore, you remember their smiles and feel your cheeks blush, knowing that those men want to call you theirs. When you fall asleep minutes later in bed, your last thoughts are of how lucky you are, and how special you feel to call them your boyfriends.

 

 

  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Homophobic language: when discussing how he came to terms with his queerness, Steve refers to himself as a "fairy," then immediately acknowledges that it is not an appropriate or accepted term.
> 
>  
> 
> I gotta admit that I have no idea if all that tech is a thing. but it sounded like a thing, so that's what i wrote lol. And if you're curious, I don't really plan for there to be any sort of kidnapping or major violence in this fic. I know in a better written story, the suggestions of it would be foreshadowing a later event, but this is a happy fic and that's just not what I want to write. 
> 
> more soon! thank you for all the kudos, and a special thank you to those of you who left a comment. i keep going back to them when i need a smile.


	6. Interlude - A Semi-Cryptic Thank You Note

_Dear Mr. Stark,_

 

_I want to express my deepest thanks to you. The two men who pestered you into helping me were probably extremely annoying, persistent, self-righteous, and obnoxious about it. They've got some big hearts and major protective natures, but I'm positive you are already aware of that. You've put a lot of blind faith into some lady you've never met, and it has not gone unnoticed or unappreciated. I owe a lot of my safety to you and I am forever grateful._

 

_All the best_

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Never doubt the power of a hand-written thank you note. (Seriously.)
> 
>  
> 
> Full chapter update very very soon! Thank you again for all the kudos and comments. I can't tell you how delighted they make me feel <3


	7. Steve is an Emotional Kisser™

It is an abnormally chilly and rainy night. Thunder has been gently rattling the house throughout the evening, and you made a rich veggie stew and have kept the kettle warm for refills of tea. You've had soft lounging clothes on all night, taking full advantage of the chill to bundle up with hot tea and blankets. 

HELEN pulls you out of your quiet repose, "Captain Rogers is approaching the front entrance." 

You hear a gentle knock on your door, and with a glance through the peephole, you see Steve standing at parade rest, wet from the rain, still dressed in his uniform (not the walking-flag one, but the dark blue and silver one) and looking in a bad way. You can't see any other belongings with him, just the shield on his back. He looks up at you once you open the door and softly says your name, lifting his voice at the end in a question. You usher him in and as he takes off his heavy boots, he makes some quiet and rambling apologies for his late-night appearance, telling you that Bucky is out of the country, the Avengers are all in New York, and he was on a mission with a SHIELD team and felt so isolated from everyone. Then after a pause interrupted only by a metal _clink_ from the shield making contact with the floor next to the door, he sighs, "And I just really needed to see you."

 

He has smudges of dirt on his face and you can smell just how hard he must have exerted himself on this mission. (It is surprising that you are not put off by the scent, and you feel a little dirty for how much you like it.) You lead him down the hallway to the bathroom and grab him a clean towel from the linen closet. You tell him to take a shower and that you'll leave some clean clothes on the toilet seat for him. He nods and starts to remove his suit. Before he's completely stripped down, you tell him to hang the suit in the shower when he's finished so it can start to dry. 

"How do you even clean that thing?" you say lightly, hoping to get him to smile, but he just shrugs and continues to strip down.

"Ok, I'm going to warm up some of the soup I made tonight. You get cleaned up and feel free to use as much hot water as you need."

 

You are able to find a large shirt and some stretchy lounge pants, hoping that it'll work for Steve, at least while he's here. You knock on the bathroom door to let him know you're coming back in, and Steve replies with a quiet _okay_ that you can barely hear above the water. You leave the clothes on the bathroom sink and go back to the kitchen.

 

After about ten minutes, you hear the shower shut off, and the soup on the stove has settled into a simmer. You're able to cut a few slices of bread from the loaf you made the day before, and ladle a hearty amount of soup into a bowl, hoping he'll be the smallest bit comforted by the warm meal. Steve sits at the table and remains quiet. He looks upset, like he's having a debate in his head, but he still gives you a small smile when you place all the food in front of him. You don't want to force him to talk, so you just sit at the table next to him, scrolling through news sites and various tags on social media. There aren't any major reports of conflict, so you know that either his mission was successful, or it is being kept extremely classified. 

 

Once he's finished (and you are pleased that he ate all of the food plus a second bowl of soup), he starts going around the house, checking all of the equipment that he and Bucky had installed the last time they visited. When he goes to open the door to check the sensors and cameras outside, you put your foot down. 

"Hey! You just dried off! You'll soak yourself again if you go out there," you lightly scold.

He stands for a moment with his back to you until you can see the resignation in his shoulders. He finally closes the door again and turns around to sit on the couch. When you sit down next to him, he instead pulls you into his lap and rests his head on your shoulder with his face turned into your neck. He stays like that, holding you close and tight, your own arms wrapped around his shoulders. The clock ticks in the kitchen, rain echos against the roof, his breaths are warm across your skin, and your body rises and falls with the movement of his chest. You can smell your shampoo and soap in his hair and on his skin; it's oddly comforting in this moment when he feels so emotionally distant. After a little while, you start to rub your hands across his back and up to his neck, letting your fingers scratch at the base of his hairline. 

"You want to tell me about it?" you ask gently.

You can feel his argument start, but you quickly cut in, "Not the details of the mission, but why you are clearly beating yourself up over something."

He sighs and keeps his head on your shoulder. If the situation were not as serious as it is, you would tease him for being overdramatic. You decide to continue anyway.

"You know, Bucky says we're a lot alike." You take the opening for a little tease, "I think you should take it as a huge compliment." He squeezes you tightly for a moment, then relaxes.

"So tell me if this sounds familiar: I tend to take the actions of others extremely personally. I constantly reevaluate all of my choices, trying to figure out where I went wrong and how I can avoid the same consequences the next time, and consistently take more blame than is probably necessary." You pause to see if he responds at all, but consider that his silence says a lot about what he thinks. 

You continue, your voice gentler now. "But sometimes, it's just out of my hands. The other person doesn't care about what we're doing as much as I do, or they have other problems happening in their personal life that are out of both of our control and I have to just accept that."

You run your hand through his hair again, then gently massage the back of his neck. "I haven't the faintest idea of how many magnitudes greater your own pressure is. But I know that you're probably putting too much blame on yourself, and that's no good. You are a leader, and while it's important that you're concerned with everyone on your team and all the details of the mission, it's also important that you don't focus so much on the little things and the mistakes to the point that you are incapacitated." You kiss the top of his head. "Ok, now I'm going to put on _Parks and Recreation_ , and you don't have to say anything."

You rearrange on the couch so that you're laying on your back with Steve curled against your side, his leg and arm wrapped over you and his head laying on your breast. It is a little uncomfortable for you, but the mild discomfort is worth the shared feeling of intimacy. 

"Best pillow in the house," you tease. Your arm is wrapped around him so that you can keep a hand near his head, and you let your fingers passively continue to run through his hair.

 

By the second episode, Steve mumbles, "I'm sensing a pattern here."

"I bet you are, Mr. Greatest Strategic Mind of a Generation. You are a Leslie for sure. I'm a Leslie too. Maybe a little bit of an Ann."

He chuckles and returns his head to your chest. You watch another episode, but by the end of it you realize that you can't wait for the bathroom any longer, so you peel yourself out from under his octopus limbs with a kiss to the forehead and a promise to be right back. When you return to the living room, Steve is sitting upright on the couch.

"Feel like watching more? Or do you have something else in mind?"

"Something else," he says softly, and he pats his lap. "C'mere."

 

You smile as you walk back over to him to straddle his lap. He holds you at the hips and you rest your arms on his shoulders, letting your hands drape behind his head. "How are you doing, honey?" you say as you run one of your hands through his hair again. His eyes close briefly at the gentle touch. When he opens them, they dart all over your face, taking you in, and finally stop on your lips. You unconsciously run your tongue over them and watch as Steve's pupils dilate, then the mood goes from quiet and relaxing to lustful and intense almost instantly. The next moment his hands are pulling you forward so that your pelvis is pressed against his lower stomach, and he leans in to kiss you.

 

Steve kisses like it's his last chance. His grip on your hips stays firm and keeps you pressed against him. His lips and tongue run over yours again and again. You know you need take a breath soon, but you aren't sure Steve would allow it with how his lips have taken possession of you. You finally are able to pull back slightly, but Steve immediately starts a path of kisses down your jaw to your neck, where his mouth sucks and bites. You can't stop a moan from escaping your throat. Your hands move to his head where they grip his hair tightly before releasing to run through. This only provokes Steve to bite and suck harder, coming back up your neck to claim your mouth again. Steve seems intent on drawing out every whimper and groan he can from you. Every time you try to equalize control, to let your lips fall to his jaw or neck, he claims them again and moves his hand to the back of your neck, holding you where he wants. His other hand moves from your hip to your ass and pulls you, bringing you forward on his lap again. This time, he tilts his hips up and you can feel his erection ( _holy shit_ ) and it presses right against that sensitive spot...

You gasp and pull back. "Steve, honey, hold on," you whisper. He pulls his hand away from your neck to join it with his other hand on your ass, and he keeps you pressed against him. You whimper and your lust-filled brain screams at you for stopping. Steve gazes at you through half-lidded eyes, and you feel like you are seconds away from being devoured.

"Are you alright? This is," you sigh, " _so_ good, but it's, um, quite a change from earlier. What's going on?"

Steve leans forward to take your neck in his mouth again, biting, then licking that spot and finally releasing it with a kiss.

"Honey, please tell me what's going on."

"I just want to take care of you," he whispers into your neck.

"Baby, if that's how you want to take care of me, then I can't wait, but," you hesitate, "it's our first time together, and I don't want it clouded by other emotions."

This finally gets his attention enough so that he leans back. His hands shift to your hips again. You can tell he's trying to put his thoughts together, so you sit patiently. While you wait, you move your hands from where they had fallen on his chest up to cup his face and trail your fingers gently over his cheeks, eyebrows, forehead, nose, and lips. 

He leans forward again to kiss your cheek, then lingers, his breath warming your skin. He kisses you again and sighs. "Sometimes... It's just a lot. Everything. I want to help but it never feels like enough. I want to change things for the better but I only make it worse. Somedays I just want to stop so I can breathe but then there's another incident, another conflict, and if I don't help, then I'm letting everyone down. I take out one horrible criminal and the next day, four more are discovered who are ten times worse." You take your hands from his face and wrap your arms around him, laying your head on his shoulder. 

"And then I meet you. A woman who calls herself simple to hide all her complexity and personality. You are the furthest thing from simple. You pour so much kindness and love into everyone around you, and you didn't hesitate for a second to include me. I never feel like I deserve your kindness and care," he huffs a laugh, "but you won't let me escape it. You make me feel like all of my struggles are worth it, because it means you and people like you are safe."

At this point, you've lifted your head from his shoulder to look him in the eyes. 

"And now," he continues quietly, "all I want to do is give some of my appreciation back to you. You deserve more than a few kisses," with that, he leans forward to kiss you, then only pulls back a tiny bit so he speaks right against your lips. "But it's a good place to start, right?"

After a moment to absorb everything he's said, you start to giggle. "Was that a Captain America speech? Are you using your Cap powers to seduce me?" Steve groans and you laugh again, then dip quickly to kiss him. You pull away only barely, just like he did moments ago, "It worked."

 

There is one heartbeat of stillness before the earlier, ravaging Steve is released again but this time you aren't going to stop him. His lips crush yours, open-mouthed, wet and hot. His hand returns to your ass and pulls you forward so he can grind up to you. After only moments, you feel his hardness return, and he rocks your pelvis right against him, moving his other hand to your other cheek, squeezing and massaging. You've got your hands on his neck, as much hanging on to him as you are holding him in place. You suck on his lower lip, then when he starts to press his tongue against your mouth, you suck on the tip of his tongue too.

As your grinding continues, the pressure and speed of his body increasing against yours, you reach a point where you are no longer kissing, just letting your mouths hang open and touch as you share breath. 

Steve pulls every moan and whimper out of you as your orgasm gets closer and closer. He moves his mouth to your ear, his breath hot as he groans, "I can tell how wet you are, even through all our layers. You feel good, don't you baby?"

You nod, almost frantically, dropping your head to his shoulder and keeping your lips on his neck. "Close... I'm really close," you whisper into his skin.

"Good." He rocks you into each of his upward thrusts, and with a quiet cry, you peak and come. 

"Yes," he draws out against your ear, and after a few more firm grinds, he stills and groans and you whine as you feel even more hot wetness spread where your bodies are intimately pressed. You keep your lips against his neck, placing lazy kisses there as you try to catch your breath. Steve releases his hands from your ass and moves them to your back, pulling you against his chest and holding you. He presses a kiss to your temple. "Next time, I'm doing that with my mouth."

You moan and grind gently down on him again, feeling a few more pulses of pleasure rush through you. He cries out and breathes through his teeth. You smirk at his sensitivity, but back off to avoid causing him any discomfort. 

 

You rest in his arms, surprisingly sated and peaceful. Steve uses his hand to caress your back while the other rests on your neck. After a few minutes, he sits up a little and kisses your lips softly, his gentleness a complete reversal to his fervor less than ten minutes ago. "Come on baby, let's go to bed."

"Are you staying the night?"

"Yeah, is that okay?"

"Oh honey, of course," you sigh. "I'll run to the store in the morning and get you some clothes."

"Don't worry about that now."

You rise to get off his lap but he grabs you by the thighs and lifts you up, standing with no effort at all. You blush slightly and ask, "I'm not too heavy?"

He scoffs and rolls his eyes. "Did you know I once stopped a helicopter from lifting off? With my bare hands?"

You smile sheepishly, "Show-off."

 

He carries you to your room and gently lowers you to your feet. You smile and stand straight, reach on your toes to give him a quick kiss before walking to your closet for clean clothes to sleep in. 

"I think I might have another pair of comfy shorts," you say as you rifle through your drawer and lift out a pair. "Oh good! These have drawstrings too."

"Thank you," Steve says with a soft smile.

You hand him the shorts and another t-shirt, then turn your back to change into your own pajamas. (You don't feel ready to present yourself fully nude to him. Soon, though. Soon.) Once you slip into bed under the covers, you ask, "Do you sleep with a blanket? How many pillows? I have the fan on, will that be okay? Also, my cat might jump on you sometime in the night." 

"No blanket, one is fine, the fan feels nice, and thank you for the warning."

You blink, then smile at all of his answers. You reach to turn out the light and lay back on your pillows, sighing with happiness. You look at Steve, and though it is dark, you can see that your shorts look obscene on him and watch as he slips into bed under the blanket with you, facing you on his side. He is shirtless, but you can't see much of him other than the general outline of his wide shoulders before he is under the covers. He reaches and wraps his arms around you, then pulls you forward against his very firm chest. He grabs your leg and brings it over his side.

"I thought you didn't need a blanket?" you whisper into his chest.

"I'll make an exception tonight."

As you lay together in the dark, you feel the need to speak again. "I know it can be hard to talk about that emotional stuff, and you don't have to tell me if you don't want to, and you also don't have to screw my brains out when you do," you lift your head from his chest to see him smirk, "But I know from experience how useful it is to express all those nasty and dark thoughts. It never solves everything, but it does make it easier to take on whatever is necessary."

Steve kisses your forehead. "I'll work on it, promise. And I definitely have more plans to screw your brains out too."

You giggle, then yawn. "If just a little rubbing wore me out, you might knock me into a coma when you use your mouth."

Steve laughs and runs his hand through your hair. After a few moments, he says quietly, "I'm going to go for a run in the morning, so if you wake up and I'm not here, I haven't left without saying goodbye."

"Mmm... okay. Thank you for letting me know. There's a street a few blocks west that's good for running, it's shaded."

He gives you a squeeze and you fall asleep to the feel of his hand running through your hair. 

 

◆ ◆ ◆

 

You wake up the next morning alone in bed, but you remember what Steve said about going for a run at the same time as hearing the front door closing. You smile and curl into the covers, looking to your open bedroom door. You hear the kitchen sink run, then another few moments later, Steve appears, shirtless and wearing the same sleep shorts you gave him last night. He is sweaty - literally glistening - and only a little flushed. He smiles when he sees you awake and comes to your side. 

"Good morning, baby," he whispers, and then gives you a light peck on the lips.

"'Morning," you reply groggily, but not without a smile. "Did you run looking like that?"

He nods.

"Did you cause fifty car accidents?"

He laughs. "I'm gonna take a shower. Are you awake or gonna fall back asleep?"

"Mmm, I'm awake. Lemme brush my teeth and wash my face, and I'll make us some breakfast. Oh! Do you need me to go get you some real clothes?"

"No, I have a bag of stuff that I brought in from my bike."

"Wait," you say, as you sit up, "you rode your motorcycle here? In your uniform with the shield on your back?"

"I know. It was stupid. I wasn't in a good headspace."

You look down at the sheets and ask, "Are you feeling better now?"

When you look up, his face is very soft and affectionate. "Yeah, baby, I am." He kisses your lips and lingers. 

You quickly slip your hand between your faces. "Honey, at least let me brush my teeth if you're gonna be all sweet like this."

He laughs again, "Ok, baby."

 

It doesn't take long to wash your face, and you have an extra toothbrush for Steve to use. You bump each other with your hips while you stand side-by-side at the tiny bathroom sink. Once your mouths are free of toothpaste, Steve takes your face in his hands.

"I'd like that kiss now."

He leans down and presses his lips gently to yours, the kiss is as sweet as can be. Your eyes stay shut when he pulls away again, and you feel his thumbs brush over your cheeks. 

"Ok, honey. You take your shower. And would you like savory or sweet oatmeal?"

"Both."

"Mmm, I bet. I gotta keep my hungry man happy," you say, patting his still-bare pec. (You couldn't resist.)

You turn away from him and make it a little a little down the hallway before he grabs you from behind, lifting you off your feet and giving you a series of quick kisses under your ear.

You giggle, "Honey! Now I'm all sweaty too! You're lucky you're so cute."

He holds you against his chest, "Yeah. I am lucky."

You know he's implying something else entirely, and the weight of it causes you to let out a small happy sigh. Steve squeezes you again, kisses the top of your head, then backs away. You turn to see his smile and watch him grab a bag in the hallway and go into the bathroom. He doesn't shut the door completely.

 

You're slowly making breakfast, mistakenly assuming his shower will be as long as last night. It lasts all of two minutes, and after another minute, he appears in the kitchen wearing a plain white t-shirt and jeans, slightly pink with a bright smile. You've just barely started chopping produce.

"Can I help?" he asks quietly.

"Want to finish chopping these," you motion to the fruit in front of you, "and I'll start cooking the oatmeal?"

"Sure," he responds cheerfully, and he starts to hum a song you don't recognize. As you're standing and working in the kitchen, you can't help but notice how much you like the domesticity of it all. You've lived alone for a while, and you've adjusted to doing things by yourself and appreciating solitude. That hasn't stopped you from dreaming about the feeling of waking up with someone special, spending the morning getting ready with them, stealing smiles and kisses from them at every opportunity. The reality is just as perfect as the dream.

However, by the time you're sitting at the kitchen table with your bowls of oatmeal, the thought has evolved from heartwarming to melancholy. You love waking up with Steve and making breakfast for him, but you will rarely get this. He, nor Bucky, will be able to be here very often.

Steve, to his credit, is not oblivious to your mental unrest. He says your name, causing you to look up from your bowl of oats that you had been mindlessly stirring with your spoon.

"You're quiet, you thinkin' 'bout somethin'?" he says, before taking another bite.

You smile at him. "You know how sometimes, you've just gone without something for so long that you don't even think you need it? Then suddenly, you have it, and its withdrawal feels even worse?"

He looks at you and a crease forms in his brow.

"Sorry, I shouldn't be so cryptic. This morning, getting to be so domestic like this - it's wonderful and makes me so happy. But just the thought of not having it again for who knows how long makes me a little sad."

"Oh."

"I mean," you rush to continue, "it's a lot like a relationship with someone in the military, right? Plus, you make me so happy in all the moments while you are here that I wouldn't want to ask for anything else."

He reaches to take your hand and brings it to his lips. "You make me really happy too, but this is going to be hard on you, are you sure it's worth--"

"Yes," you interrupt. "You and Bucky are worth it." You look him directly in the eyes, trying to convey all of your certainty. He looks at you for a moment, then smiles again. 

"Bucky's right. We really are alike."

You laugh, "Finish your breakfast, honey. How much longer can you stay?"

He looks to the clock in your kitchen. "Probably for another hour. Anything in particular that you want to do?"

Your idea is cheesy, but not so much that you won't ask. "Can we cuddle on the couch?"

"Yeah," he says, his face full of satisfaction and peace.

 

Steve bumps you out of the way with his hip when you go to the sink to do the dishes, but he allows you to dry them. Afterward, you open the front door so the fresh air can come in through the screen door, and take a deep breath. Sunshine pours into the room, and the air smells like the wet earth from all of last night's rain. You can hear so many birds chirping and singing in the tree on the front lawn. When you turn back to the room, you watch Steve lay down on the couch, wiggling humorously to make himself comfortable. You quietly chuckle, then lie on your side next to him. He pulls you in with his arms and gently maneuvers your head to lay on his chest and wrap your leg around his, a mirror of your position from last night. Steve rubs his hand up and down your back while you hold tight to his waist. ( _How,_ ** _how_** _is he so solid?!_ ) After laying in comfortable silence for a while, you ask Steve about what the rest of the week will be like for him. At first, he voices a little uncertainty, but he tells you about how he also has a feeling that he'll be sent out to help Bucky on his current mission overseas.

"Are you called in like that often?"

"We have a lot of contingency plans in place. If he calls me, that means he needs a smart and durable brawler, rather than if he called in Natasha, who would be an intelligent and subtle spy."

"Does Bucky ever ask for anyone else?"

"He might in a dire situation, but we're the two teammates he trusts absolutely."

"Natasha seems terrifying."

Steve chuckles, "She is when she needs to be, but she's also one of my best friends."

"Who are your other best friends?"

"Uh, well, Bucky, of course. Sam. I've started to get a little better at opening up to other people too, but it's always been hard to do."

"You opened up to me pretty quickly," you murmur, nervous to point it out so bluntly.

He squeezes you and kisses your head, then whispers, "You are an exception in so many ways."

Everything in his tone warms you from the inside out. "You really know how to make a girl feel special."

Steve tilts your chin up with his fingers. You are the subject of his soft but intense gaze before he closes his eyes and moves toward you. The kiss is gentle and delicate, barely a press of lips at all before he pulls away and relaxes back again. You both lay quietly for a little while longer before a electronic chirp startles you both. 

"Looks like it's time for me to go, babygirl."

You give his body one final squeeze, then push yourself upward to sit. As Steve shifts upright next to you, you ask, "Do you have a special bag for your suit?"

He laughs, "Uh, not really. I'll probably get yelled at for that," then with a shrug, "oh well." 

Steve moves around your apartment collecting what few things he brought inside while you follow him around, still chatting.

"Don't forget about it in your travel bag or that is going to get _stanky,_ real fast."

Steve laughs again. "I did once. It was ... bad."

At this point, Steve has everything and he heads towards the front and opens the screen door to step outside. 

"I'm so glad you came over, Steve," you tell him gently, "and I'm so happy that you feel safe coming here."

"I do," then quieter, with his head turned down toward his feet, "Thank you for taking care of me."

When he looks up at you, you feel a rush of emotion and throw your arms around his neck to kiss him, slightly wild and almost desperate, and Steve drops the bag in his hand to wrap his arms around your waist and back. This kiss is so much different from all the rest because this is his actual last kiss and you don't know when you'll see him again. You run your hands through his hair and he moves his hands all over your back and shoulders. Tiny whimpers escape your throat as you pour all of your feelings into that kiss. Steve reigns it back, enough so that you really do accept that he has to leave. Your lips finally break away from his, your chest heaving as you catch your breath.

He moves away from you to pick up the shield from its spot next to your door, where it hasn't moved since he placed it there last night, and puts it into a special shield-sized bag that he must have brought in this morning after his run. 

He turns back to you and leans in to give you one last gentle kiss, then pulls back and whispers, "I'll see you again soon, okay baby?"

"Ok honey, see you soon."

You bite your lip as he walks away, knowing that you will miss him dearly, but it's all worth it to see his last bright smile before he puts on his helmet and rides away.

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Canon Steve: *suffers*  
> Real Me: why can't i reach though this goddamn screen to hug him
> 
>  
> 
> Just a heads-up that it might be a little longer before the next chapter -- I've inadvertently given myself a bit of a writing challenge with it and refuse to let that challenge defeat me. But several of the chapters after that are mostly complete. Thank you again for reading, and for your kudos and comments!


	8. Interlude - A Friendly Interrogation

In the afternoon of a weekday off from work, HELEN speaks your name. "You have three visitors with SHIELD alpha-level clearance approaching the front entrance." It lessens the shock when you open the door to see The Falcon, Black Widow, and a high-ranking SHIELD agent on your front porch, and you realize that you should have expected a visit from other superheroes eventually.

 

You greet them hesitantly. Sam extends his hand and addresses you by name. "I know this is unexpected, but we want to introduce ourselves. I'm Sam, this is Natasha and Sharon."

As you let Sam's hand go, you look over to Natasha, whose face is fixed in an unreadable mask. You're pretty sure that you have been completely evaluated in the past thirty seconds since opening the door. She is just as terrifying as you imagined her to be. 

Sharon smiles, and her voice pulls your attention from Natasha. "We're sorry for the inconvenience, but is it alright if we come inside for a bit?"

You nod silently and hold the door to allow them in. Sam enters first, followed by Sharon, and Natasha eyes you again before entering and immediately scanning your entire living room. You can see her look to every place where Steve and Bucky placed the surveillance equipment. 

"Would you like us to take off our shoes?" Sam asks, and you look back to him. Natasha genuinely scares you, but Sam's face is nothing but kind.

"Oh, yes, thank you. You can leave them next to mine," you point to the pile of your shoes next to the door. As they remove their practical footwear (even Natasha's heels look moderately comfortable), you ask, "Um, would you guys like something to drink? Or something to eat? I have some stuff to make sandwiches."

"Yes, please. And a glass of water would be great," Sam replies.

"The same, thank you," Natasha says quietly.

"No, thank you."

Sam looks at Sharon incredulously. He lifts an eyebrow, "Bucky _told_ you to save room for food."

Sharon's eyes widen and she looks over to you. "Oh god, I don't mean any offense! I've been feeling nauseous all day, and the flight here didn't help," she scrunches her face with displeasure.

"Oh! Well, would you like some Tums or ginger ale?"

"You have ginger ale?" she asks skeptically.

"Sure do!"

"Then yes please, I'll have a cup of that."

 

You lead them into the kitchen and motion to the three chairs at your table. Natasha doesn't sit, and instead looks around the kitchen before going back to the living room. As you open the fridge and poke your head in, you ask, "So, uh, did Bucky and Steve send you?"

"Well, they didn't send us, but we did let them know that we wanted to meet you," Sam responds.

Sharon nods. "They've been talking about you a lot, but mostly to each other."

Sam scoffs, "They forget, or don't care, that they work with spies."

"Are they okay?" you wonder. You give each of them their drink and turn back to the counter to start assembling the sandwiches.

"Oh sure," Sharon replies calmly, "They're away on a mission." 

There's a moment of silence as you slice a cucumber. 

Sam continues, "They've said a lot of good things about your cooking, so I'm pretty excited for this sandwich. Have you always enjoyed cooking?"

"Uh, yeah, since I was in high school."

"I've never been good at cooking. Or baking. Never really had the patience," Sharon says.

"Well, I'm not running around saving the world, so I probably have a bit more time to hone my skills," you respond. 

They laugh. Sam continues, "But I'm guessing you don't cook all your meals. What are some of your favorite places to eat around here?"

You tell them about the diner, as well as other places you frequent in the city, including the cafe. Natasha comes back into the kitchen, stone-faced, and sits in the empty seat at the table.

Sam glances to Natasha, then resumes, "Is that the same cafe where you met Steve and Bucky?"

"Oh! Yeah, it is. Well, I met them in the garage nearby where I park my car." You've finished the sandwiches and put one down in front of Sam and then Natasha. Natasha stays silent and still. No matter how hard Sam and Sharon try to get you to feel comfortable around them, their efforts are useless with Natasha watching you so intensely. You feel like you've done something wrong.

"I don't think any of us have ever met someone who would give up their car like that," Sharon says.

 "Well, I'm sure I'm not the only one out there who would."

There's a pause, then Natasha finally speaks. "You might be."

Your stomach drops. "I don't--," you cut yourself off, "I mean, I-- I just wanted to help."

"By giving up your only mode of transportation? With no guarantee that it would be returned?"

"I knew they would return it."

"How?"

"Steve," you say, shrugging your shoulder. "I knew there was no way his whole Good Guy act could be fake."

"That's awfully naive of you."

It stings, but you know she isn't exactly wrong. A few beats of silence pass before you can answer again. "Well, I wasn't really thinking ahead in that moment. I just wanted to help."

"Do you do that a lot?"

"Do what?"

"Act without considering the consequences."

"Oh," you hesitate, "I mean, probably not more than the average person."

Natasha is slouched back in her chair with her leg crossed over her knee, and her sandwich is untouched. Sam is leaning forward to eat his, and Sharon is sitting on the edge of her seat, holding her glass of ginger ale in her hands. You feel so uncomfortable.

"Have I done something wrong? Is that why you're here?"

"No, we just want to get to know you better," Sharon says.

This doesn't reassure you. "Okay."

 

Sam finishes his sandwich and takes a large gulp of water. "That was a good sandwich, thank you." His praise is kind and feels very genuine.

"I'm glad you liked it."

Natasha makes no move to eat hers.

"Can I get you anything else, Natasha? Sharon?"

"We're fine, thank you," Sharon responds quickly.

 

You stand there looking at them, but when no one talks, you turn back to the counter to wrap up the food and put it away.

After another moment, Sam clears his throat and speaks again, "You know, you're kind of living the dream right now, dating both Steve and Bucky. That must be pretty great, huh?"

You can't help the sigh before your answer, "It's wonderful."

"They're pretty picky about their companions, so you've really made an impression on them," Sharon says. "It's not very often that people in our line of work date civilians."

"Yeah, I figured. Steve and Bucky have really gone overboard with all the security, but it does help me feel safer. Still not sure I'm worth it, but I appreciate it all."

"Yet you've turned off the cameras in the bedroom," Natasha says.

You flush, embarrassed. "It made me feel really weird to have them on in there."

"It made you feel weird to have cameras in the place where you sleep, in the area where you are most vulnerable," she regards you with distain. "Foolish. I turned them back on."

"Oh, uh, okay. Sorry."

She ignores your apology. "All of this security is for your protection, and any weak link could be the difference between you being rescued alive or us finding your dead body when you're kidnapped."

You pause, taking in what Natasha said. " _When_ I'm kidnapped?" No one responds to you, so you continue. "You said, 'when,' not 'if.' You mean to say that kidnapping is a guarantee?"

"Yes," Natasha replies. Sam and Sharon look uncomfortable, but they don't contradict her.

"Then what's the point of it all?" you ask with a level of panic in your voice, waiving your arms around you.

"To find you quicker," Natasha says without hesitation. 

After a moment, you have a realization. "Did you guys come here to tell me that I shouldn't keep seeing them? Is that why you're here?"

 

They all remain quiet but focused on you. You can feel tears building in your eyes, but your rising emotion is anger, not sadness. You're frustrated and none of them are giving you even a shred of reassurance. You push away from the counter and grab their plates, discard Natasha's sandwich in the trash, and turn again to clean the dishware in the sink. You use the distraction to take a breath and make an effort at composing yourself.

"Are you alright?" Sam asks quietly.

"None of you have denied it, so I'm assuming that yes, you want to _strongly discourage,"_ you say with a certain amount of loathing in your voice, "me from seeing Steve and Bucky again. It is taking everything in me to consider it rationally rather than shout and get more upset. So no, I'm not alright."

Everyone stays quiet for another minute. You assume that the three of them are communicating in silence. You hate this feeling. You put the dishes down and turn off the faucet but you don't turn back to them, instead keeping your focus out the kitchen window.

"You guys must think I'm pretty stupid, huh," you say quietly, partially musing to yourself, "to be so upset at you for just pointing out the reality of all this. To be a civilian dating two of the world's most famous superheroes and not focusing on the danger I face."

Natasha stands up abruptly and announces that she's going to go around the apartment to check the surveillance equipment again.

You watch her leave the kitchen, then turn your head back to the window and continue, "I don't know what to tell you guys. It's not that I'm not taking you seriously, I am, this is going to keep me up at night and likely make me even more paranoid in my own home, but," you pause for a moment and fail at keeping the tender tone from your voice as you continue, "They make me happy. I haven't been this happy around other people for a really long time, and I feel like you are--"

"--telling you to give that happiness up," Sam interjects softly.

You sigh. "They already told me all of this. We had this talk when they brought all the equipment. I understand the risks, but I've already decided that Steve and Bucky are worth it."

Natasha comes back into the kitchen so quickly that it causes you to turn to her, and she plants herself right in front of you. You unconsciously take a step back. 

" _Do_ you understand? Because if anything happens to you, they will be beyond devastated, and _I'm_ going to be the one who has to keep them focused on the rescue mission, rather than on you. You are a distraction and you are a weakness for them both--"

You scoff at her and whisper, "Weakness?" 

"--because you cannot protect yourself. When the time comes, I need to be able to tell them that you knew the risks. That you knew what you were getting into so that they don't destroy themselves with guilt."

"Natasha," Sharon warns, but you keep eye contact with Natasha, and after another moment you nod, even as a few tears start to fall down your face.

"I understand the risks. I know what I'm getting into."

Natasha holds your eyes for another five seconds. She is terrifying and fierce, and as much as you want to look away, you know it is important for her to see your conviction. 

Sharon says your name, and you break your face away from Natasha to look at Sharon."I know this is difficult, but we really need to be sure that you are aware of the dangers you now face just by dating Steve and Bucky. The people who would come after you would be a challenge for any of us to face alone. We're just worried about your safety, and it would be wrong of us to keep that from you."

You turn to the kitchen counter and start to clean, even though everything is already pretty spotless. You want to apologize for how awkward the atmosphere is now, but it's not exactly your fault and you also don't want to hear their half-hearted apologies in response.

You hear Natasha call your name again, so you take a deep breath and turn to her. You're on the verge of letting more than a few tears out, and you're still mad that they've caused you to break down. You figure that crying only reinforces their opinion of you as weak.

Sam says, "We're not here to outright stop you from dating them, it's just that we know they aren't going to be as upfront and direct."

Sharon cuts in, "They really like you. I think they're nervous that if they were to really spell out all the risks, it would push you away."

"Clearly they don't realize that you're more stubborn and iron-hearted than Steve himself," Natasha says off-handedly.

You feel yourself steel over. "I'm not an idiot. I hear what you're saying, and I promise I'm taking it seriously. But I'm also a single woman living alone in a large city, yet I still leave the house everyday and live my life. This obviously creates a much greater statistical chance of danger, but I don't want to give up the opportunity for happiness just because of some fear."

Natasha keeps her eyes focused on you, then barely nods. 

You feel yourself relax, if only slightly. "Would you like another glass of water?" 

"Thank you, but no. We're going to go on a walk around the neighborhood."

 

◆ ◆ ◆

 

The four of you walk through the alleys and look into backyards. Natasha and Sharon find escape paths in all directions in case you needed to get far from your apartment quickly. Sam points out places that would also cover you an aerial search.

As you're walking, Sharon comments that you should consider taking a self-defense class, and Natasha adds that they should get you a handgun. 

You sharply turn to face her, "I'm not comfortable with guns. It would be pointless for me to have one."

Natasha looks up at the sky exasperatedly, "God, you're _worse_ than Steve."

Sam bumps you gently with his elbow, "That really is a compliment coming from her."

"It's really hard to tell."

Sam laughs and then puts his hand on your shoulder to gently squeeze before letting you go again.

You turn back to Sharon, "Do you have a particular defense style you would recommend for someone like me?"

Sharon asks you a few questions about your physical history, as well as how you feel about strength versus movement. She interrupts herself to point toward a large pile of leaves and brush in the alley. "That looks like it's been there for a while. If it's still there, you go in that."

You make a face that causes Sharon and Sam to chuckle, and you even see the corner of Natasha's mouth turn up slightly. With a sheepish look, you say, "I know when it's life or death, you do whatever is necessary... it's just... bugs. Yelch!"

"I once had to hide in a sewage runoff. It took me a week to feel clean again, but my mission was successful," Natasha says smugly.

Sharon smiles at Natasha then looks back to you. "The more disgusting the location, the safer it is. Especially when men are chasing after you. Even the best of them let their sexism cloud their intelligence."

Sam cuts in, "She's not wrong."

"Also," Natasha adds, "once you find a spot to hide, stay there for longer than you think necessary. They might all be sexist idiots, but they know you'll be hiding, and they'll try to wait you out. So you wait longer."

Sam must be able to see how overwhelmed you are getting again by the look on your face. "Remember, this is in case of the _worst_. You've got a whole lotta tech that's going to do its best to keep it from happening at all, but we want you to be prepared for as much as possible."

"Thank you. It is a lot to take in, but I feel lucky to have you three here to help me prepare."

 

◆ ◆ ◆

 

On your way back to your apartment, Sam and Sharon are walking a few steps ahead while you and Natasha walk quietly side by side. You are terrible at handling awkward silences, and this moment feels exacerbated by a factor of a million. So you do what you always do and talk anyway.

"Steve told me that you're one of his best friends."

Natasha looks at you for a moment, "He is very important to me."

You're not sure where you were going with that, so you fall silent again.

After about five more steps, Natasha asks, "Does that surprise you?"

You consider it. "Um, surprise isn't the right word, more like, it interests me? Who people associate with is one thing, but who they consider their best friend really says a lot about both people. I don't think Steve could be best friends with anyone he doesn't trust absolutely and care for deeply. It speaks highly of your character, doesn't it?"

"Is there any reason for my character to be doubted?"

"I don't know," you reply, a little frustration in your voice. You were just trying to have a conversation, and now you feel like you're being interrogated. "I mean, all I know is that you are an infamous spy, you are ridiculously skilled, and you are best friends with Steve Rogers. And you definitely don't trust new people, no matter who Steve trusts."

"Why do you say that?"

"Well, you don't seem to trust me. Or like me. I've never been good at dealing with that, but whatever."

Natasha pauses this time. The gravel of the alley crunches under your feet (yours more than hers) as you walk. Sam and Sharon don't seem to be talking anymore. Finally, Natasha continues, "Why should I trust you?"

You realize how silly it is to have even hoped for something like trust from her. "I guess you don't have any reason to. It's just, I'm not a bad person and I know that you already know so much about me. You know all that and still doubt my intentions. It's weird." After a moment of hesitation, you say quietly, "You have a very different life perspective than me."

You fall back into silence as you walk closer to home. After another minute you can't help but continue. "Steve says Bucky trusts you too, so it doesn't really matter what I think. You're obviously a good person."

"Their trust doesn't make me a good person."

"I think it does."

Natasha levels an irritated look at you, and you shrug. She mutters, "You would be a terrible spy."

"Pfft. You don't have to tell me twice."

 

◆ ◆ ◆

 

When you get back to your apartment, the three of them don't follow you back inside.

"Thank you again for letting us spend time with you this afternoon, but we need to be going," Sharon says.

"Oh, of course. Thank you for visiting." The past two hours have been unrelentingly stressful due to their visit, but you still can't find it in yourself to be rude. 

Natasha sees right through you. "It's alright, you can be happy that we're leaving."

You flush. The three of them chuckle, and each of them in turn reaches out to shake your hand good-bye. As they all turn to walk away, you feel another rush of embarrassment from how relieved you are at their departure. 

 

About halfway between where you stand and the car they are walking towards, Sam turns around and says, "Just so you know, Tony appreciated your card."

Your eyes widen. "Really?"

Natasha cuts in, calling over her shoulder, "He doesn't know what to do with normal human kindness, but he's referred to you as 'Thank You Note' a few times, so you left an impression."

Sharon laughs. "Don't be surprised if your student loans are paid off soon."

"What?!"

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i know that the story keeps suggesting that the reader will be kidnapped, but i'm really not doing it as foreshadowing, i just feel that it would come up a lot. still not planning for any harm of that sort to come to the reader, but the topic is something that will continue to be discussed from time to time.
> 
> (i'm positive that Natasha wouldn't like me. i'm too soft and sensitive.)
> 
> rating is going up to E in the next chapter, and i am definitely going to earn it. expect the chapter soon; when i should have been writing this chapter, i was working on it instead.


	9. A Long-Awaited Return

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Half of my brain: Isn't 17k a little much for an explicit sex chapter?  
> The other half, the winning half: Listen. If the only way I'll ever experience a threesome with Steve and Bucky is by using my imagination and the written word, then you can damn well expect a _minimum_ of 17k.
> 
> And what's the point of being with two supersoldiers if they aren't constantly using their strength to make you feel tiny and weightless? I may have taken a few liberties with that...when in doubt, just remember they are v strong boys.

>> 10:30am _Will you be home tonight?_

<< 10:31am _Yes_

>> 10:33am _See you after 8PM._

 

It's been three months.

 

Technically twelve weeks and six days since you last saw Steve, not that you're counting. It is well into winter and you try not to let the weather and long nights reflect your mindset. You knew there could be extended periods without any contact, and you even remember Steve mentioning being called in to help Bucky, but you have to routinely remind yourself of that as another day passes without any news. You miss them both and worry too often, even though you are pretty sure that if something truly terrible were to happen to either Steve or Bucky, _someone_ would get word to you. 

You sent a message after about a month and a half that simply said, _Miss you. Be safe <3_. You know it was harmless but still feel a little embarrassed about it, especially when you didn't receive a response. Who even saw that message? Did it go to their phones (communication devices? Holographic projectors?) or did some SHIELD employee make a note of it? Maybe that's not what the messaging system was even intended for. 

 

(Often, you remember Steve: how he held you, how he looked at you, how he kissed you, how he pushed you to that edge without removing a thread of your clothing. You remember him at night when you're alone, trying and failing to sleep, and you keep wondering if you'll get the chance to do it again, but maybe with less clothing and in a bed and lasting longer than ten minutes... You're ready to experience that with him now, with Bucky, but they need to come back and you just don't know when that will be.)

 

You've caught yourself falling down these kinds of mental rabbit holes pretty often. You have had to keep telling yourself that this is exactly what you signed up for when you decided to start a relationship with them. You also have tried to remember that they wouldn't leave you forever, at least not without some form of explanation. 

There have been moments where you've been angry that _no one_ is letting you know what's going on, but you've kept those feelings on lockdown. You've reminded yourself over and over that you knew these absences would be normal, and how toxic it would be to everything you've started with Steve and Bucky if you demanded answers from them or anyone. (It hasn't kept the angry thoughts from coming back when you're at your loneliest.) The entire experience has left you feeling like a secret mistress rather than a partner who needs to be kept safe. You've spent a lot of time journaling and talking it out in the shower in order to be able to neutralize the emotion as much as possible. You've also wondered if you're even entitled to any information at all, and that thought depresses rather than angers you.

 

None of this matters when they finally show up again. Steve and Bucky both stand on your porch, dressed casually and not nearly warm enough for the chilly air, and when you throw open the door, you completely ignore their wide eyes as you jump into Bucky's arms. With almost no hesitation, he lifts you up to take your weight so that your hands are free, and you take the opportunity to hold his face between your palms.

"I've missed you so damn much," you murmur, then smile as you finally lean down to kiss him. His lips are just as soft and perfect as you remember.

After another moment and while your mouth is still engaged with Bucky's, you remove one hand from his face and blindly reach for Steve. You hear him laugh as you finally make contact with his shirt, then pull him forward, breaking away from Bucky to kiss Steve as well. Between kisses and breaths, you tell him, "I've missed you too." 

Bucky kisses your neck and whispers in your ear, "God, sweetheart, we missed you. Let's get inside so we can greet you properly."

You break away from Steve's lips to turn back and look at Bucky with a playful pout, "Jumping into your arms to greet you with a kiss wasn't a proper welcome?" you chide.

Steve leans toward you and the warmth from his breath makes you shiver. "Ours involves less clothing," he whispers.

You blush and your eyes widen as Steve holds the door so that Bucky, who is still holding you, can walk through.

"Don't let that horny bastard make you feel pressured. He just hasn't been able to stop thinking about those little gasps and moans you made with him last time."

"Both of you?" you say hesitantly, though you can already feel your heart rate picking up and your pelvis warming.

Steve's grin is heated. "Yeah."

Bucky sets you down and backs away a few steps with your hands in his. He eyes you up and down, bites his lip, and looks back into your eyes, "I certainly hope so."

His aroused gaze seems out of place for the outfit you have on, which you refer to as "1960s primary school teacher:" a camisole and cardigan with a high-waisted A-line skirt that brushes against your knees.

Steve comes up behind you and wraps his arms around your waist. He trails his mouth down your throat and murmurs, "Missed you so much, baby. Hated going that long without any contact."

"Are you guys okay?" you ask breathlessly. 

"Later. We'll catch up later." Steve replies. "I don't want to go another moment without my hands on you."

Bucky must see the hesitation on your face. "That alright, sweetheart? You don't seem as excited," he trails off.

"I, um," you pause, sighing with a huff. "Sometimes my insecurities get the best of me."

Bucky's face softens, and he wraps his metal arm around your waist to pull you away from Steve and up against his body. "All I want you to think about right now is how much we want you. And if you want us too, we'll show you and take care of you."

Steve presses up behind you, placing you in the middle of a perfect supersoldier sandwich. He bends to place a line of kisses up your neck. "What do you say, baby?"

You exhale in a rush, already feeling overwhelmed by the attention. "Yes." You nod enthusiastically, "Yes!"

Steve wraps his arms around you, displacing Bucky, and lifts you from behind; you giggle as he spins you around your living room.

"God, I missed that giggle," Bucky sighs.

Steve puts you down and whispers in your ear, "Can we take you to bed now?"

You find yourself at a complete loss of words, so you just nod again.

Steve turns you to face him and dips his face close to yours. When he speaks, his voice is even lower. "What's the most number of times in one night that someone's made you come, baby?"

Bucky huffs, "You're such a competitive fucker."

You blink, then answer honestly, "Um, not counting last time with you? Zero."

 

Steve pulls back and stares at you for a moment, causing you to feel a little ashamed, so you turn your eyes from his face. He immediately notices the change in your demeanor and says your name softly. "I can't believe that you have been with other people who didn't bother to take care of you."

"It's," you hesitate, "it's probably my fault. My body is just weird."

" _Fuck_ that," Steve says sharply. He doesn't swear as often as you and Bucky, and so you always feel a little surprised when he does. "It absolutely is _not_ your fault, you were just with a bunch of selfish assholes."

You know he's not mad at you, but you still struggle to look at his face. 

"Babygirl, look at me," Steve pleads. When you look up, his face is very close to yours. "There is _nothing_ wrong with you, and I'm going to prove that tonight."

Bucky moves closer to you both; his presence has a calming effect on you and Steve. You hadn't realized how tense it had become. "How many on your own, sweetheart?"

"Um, two, I think. Yes, two."

"Good, we'll get you to at least three."

Your eyes widen, and the heat between your thighs increases. You let the remainder of your hesitation stay on the ground as Steve picks you up again. He wraps your legs around his waist and carries you down the hallway to your bedroom with Bucky following just behind you both. You eye him from over Steve's shoulder and feel your excitement heighten, allowing you to be a little more bold and forward. While keeping your eyes on Bucky, you smirk and turn your face so that you can kiss and bite Steve's neck. Steve's deep hum causes you to shiver again, and he squeezes you a little tighter. As you enter your bedroom, you watch as Bucky reaches behind his neck to pull off his t-shirt.

You throw a petulant look at him, "I wanted to take off your shirt."

As he laughs, you are able to take a long look at his torso. You are first drawn to his shoulder where his metal arm meets skin, the red scarring looks irritated still after so many years. You move your eyes across his collarbones and down his chest, marveling at how thick and solid he looks; his waist barely seems to narrow from the width of his shoulders. His chest is smooth and his muscles press against his skin. You notice them twitch and realize he's flexing. You're drawing your eyes to his flesh bicep when you hear Steve whisper your name, and you blink in a little confusion before realizing that you have been brazenly staring at Bucky this entire time.

"You can take off my shirt if you want."

You look back into Steve's eyes, marveling how blue they are, made ever more beautiful by his coquettish smile as he places you back on your feet in front of him.

Bucky walks over to stand behind you and wraps his arms around your waist, resting his chin on your shoulder. He pulls you against him while your arms are free to reach out and put your hands at the bottom of Steve's shirt, fingers just barely brushing his bare skin. As you pull the shirt up and over his head, his torso is revealed and you could swear that it glows. This isn't the first time you've seen him shirtless, but it is the first time you've really been able to appreciate him. Everything about Steve seems impossible: his breadth of shoulders, his firm pectorals that twitch under your touch as you drag your hands across them and down to his abs that are hard, all tapering to his small waist.  


"Beautiful, ain't he?" Bucky whispers in your ear. 

"Stunning," you say with reverence before looking back into Steve's eyes. "You are beautiful."

A light flush spreads across Steve's cheeks. He grabs the tails of your cardigan and pulls you to him, then pushes it off your shoulders and off your arms. Bucky presses into you from behind and you are once again the filling of a perfect muscle sandwich. Bucky speaks into your ear while Steve's fingers lightly dip past the waistband of your skirt. "So sweetheart, do we get to see you?"

 

Up until this moment, you had forgotten that sex usually involves nudity. Sure, it had entered your mind that they would see you naked, but now you can't help but feel self-conscious. 

"I, uh, I'm not," you stutter. Bucky's lips start to gently kiss a line from your shoulder to your neck. "I mean, of course you can, but I don't look--"

Steve cuts in, "--like a serum removed every ounce of fat from your body? Like you spend your entire life in physical training?"

You blush, "I'm very... soft. Chubby."

By this point, Bucky has reached your ear. You gasp when he takes your earlobe between his lips, then gently speaks, "I want to get my hands on every part of your soft, chubby, and _gorgeous_ body."

You look to Steve who dips to kiss you gently. "You don't have to, but we'd really love to see all of you."

 

You decide to be brave and really let go of your doubts. "Ok. Will you do it?" you whisper. Steve nods with a smile, then dips to kiss you again while Bucky kisses back down your neck and shoulder. Steve's fingers gently pull your camisole from your skirt, and he keeps kissing you as he lifts it up, only stopping to pull it over your head. You feel Bucky's lips leave your shoulder as his hands wrap around your bare waist, just under your bra. Steve pulls back to look at you, and even your darkest thoughts can't make you see anything except his pleasure and arousal, but it still takes all of your willpower not to self-consciously cover your belly with your arms.

 

Bucky speaks to Steve from your shoulder, "When we went out to dinner, she was wearing this thin blouse that drove me wild. The way it draped across her breasts - I had an idea of what it hid, but apparently my imagination couldn't get close to the real thing."

You turn your head to look at Bucky and whisper, "I wanted to look extra nice for you."

"You looked incredible." With a glance back to Steve, he says, "But I think Steve is getting impatient."

Steve has been gently tracing your collarbones with his fingers, taking them up your neck along the tendon and then back down to your chest. Each time his fingers return to your chest, he dips closer to your cleavage but then moves again, skimming them back across the tops of your breasts. His eyes follow the path his fingers take, and now that your focus is on Steve, his light touch makes you shiver. He draws his index finger up your neck over your chin and stops on your bottom lip, giving it a light tug.

He speaks, but keeps his eyes on your lips. "You know, I made you a promise last time I was here, and I always keep my promises."

"Promise? What promise," you ask, but before you can inquire further, Steve drops to his knees in front of you. "Oh!" you gasp.

"Let me know if there's anything you don't like, okay?" and after he sees your nod, he lifts your skirt and dips underneath it. As you feel his hot breath just above the juncture of your thighs, your legs quiver and you lean back further into Bucky's chest. Bucky's hands hold you at your sides, right at your waist. Steve's fingers drag up your legs, all the way up to the bottom of your panties where he dips his fingers up under the cloth. You are wearing a comfy and not-at-all-sexy pair (now you know how Bridget Jones felt), but before you have time to feel embarrassed about it, he withdraws his fingers from under them and moves his hands up and down your sides over the span of cotton. Steve hums, then you feel him kiss and mouth over the cloth, right in the vee of your pelvis as his hands push up further, past the waistband to the softness of your middle, where they squeeze and then caress back down. His fingers dip beneath the elastic at the top of your panties and pull it away from your body before letting it snap gently back again. There is a wet patch on your lower belly that starts to grow larger as his mouth descends down, closer and closer to the very top of your seam. When his lips and tongue drag back up to the top of your panties, you feel his teeth bite into the elastic and start pulling them off. His fingers join and he removes them slowly, down your legs to your feet. Bucky supports you while you step out of them. 

Once removed, Steve's face presses right up to your pussy and he takes a deep breath. You gasp and bump back into Bucky. He braces you, keeping you steady, and now that he's right against you, his hardness is undeniable and arousing. He has started to move his hands, running them up your waist to your breasts still in your bra. His fingers have no trouble finding your nipples, and his thumbs tease over them, smooth and slow, helping them peak under his touch while you whine in response. Bucky dips his face to your ear, and whispers how much he likes watching, how much he's going to enjoy feeling you respond to Steve's mouth. At the same time, Steve lifts one of your legs and dips a little to bring it over his shoulder, giving him better access to your pussy. Bucky chuckles and teases about how determined Steve gets, and how he can't wait for you fall apart with pleasure.

Steve parts your folds with his fingers, then you feel his tongue lick up from your entrance to your clit, where it circles a few times before Steve closes his mouth around your sensitive nub and sucks gently. You feel your breath leave your lungs and fall back again into Bucky, whose strong arms support you even while your legs are too weak to hold you upright. Steve's tongue wiggles from your clit to your entrance, where he dips it in and pumps it into you a few times before pulling it out, flattening his tongue and licking your cunt again and again. His focus never stays in one place for too long, keeping you fevered in anticipation and sensitive from every touch. He moans a lot, sending vibrations through your entire base, sucks gently on your lips and parts them with his tongue to lave over your clit. Bucky doesn't stop kissing you all over your neck and shoulders, and you have a few coherent moments when you turn your head to kiss him with an open mouth, and his tongue presses against yours. While one of your hands holds up your skirt, the other runs through Steve's hair, pulling when his tongue does something to spike your pleasure.

 

Steve places a gentle kiss on your clit then comes out from under your skirt. The entire area around his mouth and chin is glistening. You assume that he's done and let out a blissful sigh. "Steve, that felt so good, thank you."

He stands up next to you and gives you a quizzical look. "I'm not done, I just have a better idea." He gets on your bed and lays flat on his back. "C'mere," he says with a sly smile. 

You're distracted for a moment by his very obvious erection pressing against his jeans. You look to Bucky who raises his eyebrow in a small challenge, and then he lifts you at the waist to place you on Steve so that your legs straddle his chest. Your wetness smears on Steve's abs as he pulls at your thighs to get you to move forward. You move awkwardly, confused. Bucky gets onto the bed and straddles Steve's thighs behind you. 

Steve tightens his grip on the tops of your thighs and moans your name. "I want you up here," he nods his head toward the headboard.

"What?" You're still confused. 

Bucky whispers in your ear, "He wants you to sit on his face."

Your eyes widen, and you blink in shock for a moment while looking at Steve, whose face can only be described as smug. This is something you've never done; no one has invited you to do this, and you've never considered it an option since you aren't a small woman.

"But... aren't I too heavy?"

Steve chides your name impatiently. "What, you think the supersoldier serum only worked on my arms? Get up here and sit on my face!"

Bucky laughs, then Steve's breath stutters. You don't know what changed with Steve, so you look back at Bucky and see him rubbing Steve's erect cock through his briefs, his zipper down and fly open. Both you and Steve stay momentarily distracted by Bucky's hands.

Steve finally moans and refocuses to pull at your legs. You scoot up his chest, the angle of your thighs getting wider, pressing your pussy down on his chest with your movements. 

"I'll guide you a little with my hands but don't be afraid to press down."

"Okay," you reply hesitantly. He lifts your skirt again as you get close enough to his face and you place your knees on either side of his head and lower yourself tentatively. 

 

By _guide you_ , he apparently means to hold your ass in his hands and pull you forward while his tongue plunges right back between your folds. You are so unsure at first that you just let Steve maneuver you, but after one particularly good moment of attention to your clit, you grind down trying to chase that rush of pleasure. You worry that you've done something wrong for only a moment before Steve moans and squeezes your ass and pulls you forward again so that your grind is harder and more drawn out. Steve lets you know how pleased he is, moaning again and again, licking and sucking you in earnest as you grab your headboard to balance. He sounds like he's eating his favorite meal after three days of fasting. You feel a little wild to be using his face this way, but it also feels incredible and you definitely aren't going to stop. 

As you get closer to your orgasm, you feel frantic; half ecstatic with the thought of _Steve Rogers_ doing this to you, and half relieved that finally, _finally_ a man is taking the time and effort to get you to come. (It hasn't taken you nearly as long as you worried it might, but you think Steve's enthusiasm and determination has a lot to do with that.)

When you come, it's with Steve's tongue pressed against your clit, pulsing with your waves as you rhythmically clench just above his chin. Moments later, you feel a splash of warmth on your back. You breathe deeply and whine as you continue to ride out your orgasm, loosening your grip on the headboard as Steve's attention to your pussy gentles and slows. You slide off of Steve to the side of his chest, still upright but with your legs folded away from him. You pull your skirt from his head, and he takes a deep breath. You reach behind to your back and swipe up the warm liquid to confirm what you think it is. You see the spunk as it slowly drips down your index and middle fingers. 

"This yours?" you ask quietly, still panting from your orgasm. Steve nods, his eyelids drooping, a dopey smile on his face. As you bring your fingers to your mouth and lick them clean, you keep your gaze fixed on Steve. His expression radiates satisfaction and pride. You can see how his face still glistens from your wetness, so you dip down to kiss him, then start to mouth and lick yourself off of him. You hear a prolonged moan behind you from Bucky, you feel Steve's smile from how his cheeks move, and the air from his sigh warms your ear. You pull back and use the edge of your skirt to dry him off. It's still on, but it has wet patches all over it.

"How's she taste, Steve?" 

You both look back to Bucky. While you were distracted by Steve's mouth, Bucky had completely removed Steve's pants and briefs. You sit up with a smile and lean forward as Bucky moves to meet you halfway, then take his face in your hands to kiss him with an open mouth. You let out a little moan as his tongue licks around your lips. 

You pull back a little from him. "What do you think, darling?" you whisper.

"You're perfect." He leans back a little more to look you in the eyes, "And you looked so goddamn hot ridin' Steve like that. How're ya feelin', sweetheart?" he drawls.

You sigh with a smile. "Really good."

"Really good? Only really good?" he teases. "You're losing your touch, Stevie!" Steve chuckles, still leaning back against the pillows. You start to turn to explain better to Steve, but Bucky grabs your chin and turns your face back to him. "Guess I'll just have to get you feelin' even better."

He leans forward again to kiss you, while his hands move up your body to cup your breasts still in your bra, and his thumbs swipe over your nipples standing erect against the fabric. You shiver when his hands glide across your skin to your back, and his fingers gently push up under the bra clasp. 

"May I?"

You nod and keep looking at his face after, but Bucky's gaze drops to your chest. He removes your bra from your shoulders down your arms, and your breasts fall free with a heavy bounce. Bucky's resulting groan seems to charge through you and his hands return to your breasts, squeezing and caressing. You can't help but sigh. The contrast between his flesh hand and metal hand throws you off enough that you struggle to focus on anything but the sensations. Steve comes up behind you to lift your skirt over your head, and now, completely naked, you don't feel as self-conscious as before. Bucky even seems to notice, and he hums his pleasure at your comfort.

Bucky continues to fondle, eventually dipping his head to suckle at your nipple, responding with even more passion as you lean back and mew with delight.

"He could do this for hours," Steve says. You tilt back further to look upside-down at him with a lazy grin. "A few weeks after I got him and the 107th out of Azzano and we finally had a moment to ourselves, he played with my chest for practically an hour. It's like the rest of me wasn't even there."

Bucky pulls away from your breast and tugs you back up then moves his hand so his fingers continue to brush over your sensitive nipple. "Look at that pair of tits, how could I not be mesmerized?"

"You do have a fabulous pair, Steve," you say in agreement. "Come here, I haven't spent enough time with them yet." 

Steve smiles and moves forward. Once in range, you grab his waist so you can balance while you dip and lick his nipple, just a bud on his solid and sweaty chest. You suck, hoping to pull a sound out of him, and when you hear him gasp, you back off smirking. You move your hands from his waist to his pec so you can keep touching him. 

You look back to Bucky, "Only an hour?"

He chuckles, "Yeah, this punk is too impatient. Eventually he threw me back on the bed and blew me."

"How terrible for you."

"He is extremely inconsiderate," he says with a smirk. Steve laughs, clearly enjoying all of your teasing. He sounds so much more carefree compared to that evening when you saw him last, and your heart is overjoyed every time you hear his happiness again.

Bucky continues to give your breasts attention - more than they've ever really received outside of your own hands - until you're so distracted that you can barely maintain focus on Steve's beautiful body. Bucky has been pushing his knee up between your legs, the crux of which is still sensitive from Steve's attention, and you are pulled from your pleasure enough to realize that Bucky still has pants on.

"Why are you still dressed?"

"I thought you'd want the honor."

You bite your lip, give a little nod, and reach forward to grab his waistband but decide not to rush. You push his shoulders a little to hint that you want him to lay down. He leans back, putting his weight on his elbows as you focus your attention down his stomach to his pelvis. You slowly lower the zipper of his fly, allowing the backs of your fingers to brush against his erection as they move down. With the fly open, you lightly drag your index and middle finger up and down, outlining his dick as Bucky murmurs expletives above you. You move the opening of his pants completely out of the way and cup him through his briefs. He is hard and hot under your hand.

"Lift up a little for me, darling."

He lifts his hips and you pull his pants from his hips to his thighs. While his lower half is still raised, you take your hands and cup his ass, squeezing a little and looking up to him with a smirk, and he grins back. His butt has a bit more cushion than Steve's, and it feels like perfection in your hands. Your attention comes back to his hard dick, now obvious and tenting his briefs. You hear Steve behind you and a rustle of fabric; Bucky's pants are completely off, and he opens his thighs a little more. He leans back on his arms again, and you kneel at his side, sliding your hand down his abs, lightly tracing over each muscle with your fingers, then trailing them on his lower stomach and under his briefs. You wrap your hand around his hot length and give him a gentle pull.

Bucky sucks air between his teeth, falls completely onto his back and whines. 

Steve comes up behind you and loops his arms around your waist to give you a gentle embrace, then pulls them back again to move his hands up to your breasts to brush his fingers past your nipples. He whispers in your ear, "His balls are extra sensitive," then he kisses your neck, sucking a little under your ear. 

When he breaks away, you turn to look at Steve and give him a quick and dirty kiss, then look back to Bucky and pull his briefs down past his balls. You run your hands over them, trying to caress them with all the attention he deserves. You notice a bead of precum at the tip of his erect cock and, on impulse, dip down to suck it up. 

"Jesus, sweetheart, your mouth is perfect, been dreamin' 'bout those lips around my cock for months now."

You lift off him, "You think about me?"

"Fuck yes, all the time."

Steve murmurs into your ear, "All the time, babygirl."

You blush. "You two are so sweet, makin' me feel so special."

"That reminds me. You got me distracted with that perfect mouth," Bucky says as he sits up to pull off his briefs, "but we have plans for you."

"Plans? That sounds so official," you joke.

"Well, we spent some time figuring out what we wanted to do together once we could be with you again," Steve says.

You look at him a little incredulously. "You're serious? You actually planned this out?" 

Steve nods. 

"And when did you have time to make a plan for ravaging me?"

"Mostly while we were holed up in a safe house in São Paulo."

"We needed a distraction from everything else."

"Were you alone?!" you exclaim.

Steve shushes you and laughs, "Don't worry, we didn't tell a whole SHIELD team about how we planned to eat you out and get you to scream our names." 

You bite your lip and decide to tease them. "Hmm...I'm not really a screamer."

Bucky's smile turns feral, "We'll see about that."

He leans forward to kiss you gently on the lips, then pulls back to look at you. You don't mean to, but you blurt out exactly what's on your mind in that moment. "I don't think I'm doing a very good job of giving you both attention."

"What? Don't be ridiculous, sweetheart."

Steve cuts in, "This isn't about us, it's about you tonight. Relax, baby."

"You're happy too? You're not bored?"

Steve grabs your hand and pulls it to his half-hard cock. "I'm very happy. We just want to take care of you this time."

Bucky takes your hands and tugs you forward, then wraps you in his arms. "Since day one, you've only taken care of us. Every time we show up, you do everything you can so that we leave rested and feeling a bit better than before."

You pull away a little to look up at his face. "That's what I want! It makes me happy to take care of you!" You pause in realization, "Oh."

Steve's hand palms your cheek and turns your face toward his. "Yeah, baby. This makes us feel good and happy to know that we're finally taking care of you in a way that you deserve."

Bucky kisses your cheek. "You deserve to feel good, sweetheart." He then turns your face to him and kisses you passionately. You wrap your arms around his neck and let yourself be taken over.

Bucky pulls back so his lips still rest on yours. "It helps that we happen to like you a lot and find you very attractive. Although, this hunk of meat," he gestures with his head over to Steve, "will take any opportunity he can to eat someone out."

You giggle and look to Steve, "You're _really_ good at it." You take one of your arms off of Bucky's shoulders to bring to Steve's face, rubbing your thumb over his cheek bone. 

Steve smiles and leans forward to kiss you. Then Steve is opening his mouth and he's letting your tongue in, and the kiss starts to heat more and become more desperate...

Bucky clears his throat, "If I remember correctly, it's my turn." 

Steve breaks away from your lips with a laugh and rests his forehead against yours. He kisses you again softly before pulling away. With his eyes still on you, "Where do you want me, Buck?"

"Sit up against the headboard, her back against your chest and keep her legs wide open for me."

You blush furiously. "I can't believe you guys planned this in a safe house."

Bucky smiles. "Sometimes just the thought of you helps us feel more relaxed, sweetheart."

"And we take our missions very seriously," Steve says as he piles your pillows behind his back and then pulls you to press against his chest. He moans softly with pleasure, and you can feel the vibrations through your back. He lifts and positions you so that you are resting against his lower stomach with your legs held open by his thighs. You move your hands on his legs, rubbing up and down. He murmurs into your ear, "Just our beautiful doll, aren't you?" You nod and turn your head to him to kiss again.

When you turn your head forward to look at Bucky again, he's on his knees between your legs, his dick hanging thick and heavy between his thighs, and he's dragging his eyes up and down your whole body. You feel exposed, vulnerable, and incredibly shy, but you also feel soothed by Bucky's smile and even further aroused when he starts to use the fingers of his flesh hand to trace from your ankles to your thigh and up over your belly - he uses his full hand there to squeeze, and you aren't sure what to think of that - then drags his hand back down the other thigh. 

"Your skin is so soft, sweetheart. I want to keep my hands on you all night just so I can savor how perfect you feel."

Steve whispers in your ear, "Our girl is the softest doll."

Bucky sucks air through his teeth, dragging his hands down your legs again. As he pushes back up, he growls, "I just want to take a bite of you, bite you all over, mark up that pretty, soft skin so you know how much I like it."

His fingers keep moving closer and closer to your cunt, running through the short strands of hair near the juncture of your thighs, then dipping just over the folds of your sex. You squirm every time he gets particularly close, but you are held firm in Steve's arms. Steve's hands support you under your thighs, and you can feel his hardness pressed against your ass, but he isn't moving against you.

"Fuck, sweetheart, I can see you glistening. You're so wet for me, aren't you?"

"All for you, Bucky," you reply breathlessly.

"Taste her," Steve grunts beneath you.

"Don't rush me, Stevie."

You can't see Steve's smirk, but you can imagine it so clearly as he takes his hands from your thighs then runs them up over your stomach and cups your breasts, pinching your peaked nipples between his fingers. You moan and feel yourself clench as Steve's hands return to holding your thighs.

"That's playin' dirty," Bucky groans, and he looks up into your eyes. "What do you think, sweetheart?"

"I like feeling like your doll," you reply softly.

"Mmm, the most beautiful doll, too," he says as he slides two fingers up, just on the insides of your folds, around your clit and back down right over your entrance. When he brings up his fingers and spreads them slightly, you can see your wetness collected between them. He closes his mouth around his fingers, then draws them out again, sucking them clean. 

"Fuck, Bucky, please," you beg.

"Don't worry, sweetheart. I'm gonna give you what you need."

You whine as he moves his fingers starting at the top of your pussy and dragging around your lips, circling your entrance.

When he finally dips a finger into you, the noise of relief that you make causes Steve to moan. The vibrations run through you and intensify everything. "You make the sweetest sounds," he groans.

Bucky pulls his finger back out and runs it around the rim; you feel yourself flutter and your legs shake. He dips two fingers in, draws them around your walls, caressing, then drags them out, hooking his fingers so they press right over that little spot that you've never thought actually existed in your body. You gasp, bending away from Steve's embrace with an arch to your back.

"Ahh, there we go, sweetheart."

Now that he's started, Bucky is relentless, alternating between pushing his fingers inside you and pressing the heel of his hand against your clit.

Steve trades off keeping one hand under you as support, while the other roams your belly, breasts and neck. His thighs keep your legs wide open and wrapped to the outside of his. He pays a lot of attention to your neck and shoulders with his mouth. You keep catching Bucky looking at Steve with a very pleased smile.

Steve is moaning a lot, and when you have the coherency to look at Bucky's hands, you can see him touching Steve with his metal hand right underneath where his other hand penetrates you.

Steve has progressed from periodically adjusting his hardness beneath you to actively thrusting against your ass. Bucky lifts you, smears his hand over your pussy, then uses your juices to coat Steve's cock. "That'll sate him for a moment. Sweetheart, you have some lube?" he asks as he sets you back down on Steve.

You nod to the dresser next to your bed where you keep those types of things. You whimper when Bucky removes his fingers but Steve wraps his arm around your waist and starts to thrust more purposefully between your cheeks, biting your earlobe and breathing roughly. 

"So selfish, isn't he, thrusting on you when I'm trying to please you instead."

Steve growls back, "Like you could resist with her wiggling all over you." As if he can sense your hesitance, "Don't stop, babygirl. Show me how good you feel," he whispers in your ear.

You turn your head to kiss him, and he immediately uses his tongue to lick your lips and tease.

You groan when Bucky's fingers return, and Steve lifts your hips. You can feel Bucky's hand beneath you, presumably slicking Steve up. He moans loudly.

Steve sits you back down atop him and glides with each thrust, leaving you completely slick everywhere his dick touches you. You throw your arms behind you, wrapping one around his neck and the other placed so that you can have your hand in his hair.

You've been watching Bucky as he helps maneuver you, he smiles as his attention shifts from Steve back to you.

"Gorgeous, just our little doll, aren't ya," he teases and slides three fingers in, hooking and dragging them back out.

As Bucky's ministrations increase, Steve's hands continue moving all over your breasts and collar while his mouth stays latched to your neck and shoulders. His cock thrusts between your asscheeks and up your lower back. All their contact makes you feel more tender and incredible than you ever have before. Tears well up in your eyes, and you know you're making a lot of noise.

"Come on baby, that's it," Steve murmurs in your ear.

"You sound so pretty, sweetheart."

A part of you had always wondered what it would feel like to reach a point of ecstasy during sex, and you realize that that is exactly what you are experiencing now. You're pushed to a place of such intense emotions, all of them pleasurable and positive. You feel so cared for and have never been given such undivided attention.

Steve is kissing the tears from your cheeks and neck, "You feel good, sweet girl? Yeah, you do. Come for us. Come for us, baby."

Then Bucky pushes the heel of his hand into your clit again, and you do. 

 

The first orgasm felt like a relief; this one feels like an eruption. You cry out as you feel yourself pulse around Bucky's fingers and you shake in Steve's hands, and neither of them let up although Bucky's touch does slow and he reduces the pressure of his palm on your clit. Steve keeps whispering praise into your ear.

The orgasm feels like it lasts for ages, but after what is presumably only a minute or so, Bucky removes his fingers and gently caresses your stomach with his wet hand, sliding up to kiss you on the mouth. You can feel his hard cock as he slides it between your soaked folds and he pushes against you gently but slow enough to be firm. It presses you back into Steve, who gives one more thrust then voices a high pitched whine as you feel his warm cum gush between your back and his stomach. Bucky's lips are still on yours, sucking on your bottom lip as you continue to shiver and twitch from oversensitivity, but you feel too incredible to stop.

Bucky kisses across your cheek to your ear and whispers, "That's two."

You lift your arms from around Steve's neck to quickly take Bucky's face in your hands and kiss him. You feel him smile against your lips. "You are good, you are so, so good, Bucky, god you're amazing."

You reach between your bodies to grab his cock and give it a few firm pulls. Bucky moans. His dick is hard and hot, and you even think you can feel it pulsing (though that might be your own heartbeat). You look down at your hand around him, then slowly draw your eyes back up, hoping that you appear as coy as you feel.

"If I asked you to come on my tits," you say softly, "would you still be able to fuck me later?"

His eyes widen and you feel Steve chuckle behind you. You slide your hand off his cock to lean into Steve, resting with your back on his chest again, and you return your arm around his neck and hand to his hair. "Does that throw off your plan, darling?"

Steve dips his head to kiss your cheek and keeps his hand on your stomach, caressing and giving little squeezes.

Bucky shakes his head a little, "I think we can make some modifications."

"Always have to plan for outside variables," Steve murmurs.

You turn your head to put your mouth next to Steve's ear. "I thought I was the mission."

Steve huffs a laugh.

You twist back to Bucky who is upright on his knees between your legs, hand leisurely stroking his cock. You bring your arms back down from Steve's neck to drag your fingers up and down Bucky's sides, then you use your upper arms to squeeze your breasts together, and drag your teeth over your lips. "Please, Bucky?"

You pull your legs from around Steve's, shifting down his stomach, and wince from the muscle tension before you use them to reach and wrap around Bucky's legs, pulling him in. "Come on, Bucky. Lemme feel you."

His hand starts to move faster. You move your hands over yourself and start to ramble, almost delirious. "Bucky, you look so good. You're so handsome and those hands are so talented, no one's ever done that for me before, you make me feel so special and cared for and I want you to come on my tits so I can have you all over me, please darling, please."

Bucky moans your name.

Steve takes your ear in his mouth again, then whispers, "You stay here, baby. I'm gonna help him out."

He gently lifts you so he can slide out, then lays you back down, dragging his hand down your body as he crawls on his knees to be behind Bucky. He moves your legs so they go around both of them. Steve brushes Bucky's hair behind his ear and tucks his face into his neck. He lays a kiss there, then smooths his hands down Bucky's sides, bringing them both low on Bucky's pelvis, fingertips tracing down Bucky's sharp adonis lines. He takes one hand away to reach for the lube and brings it in front of them both to dribble some into his other hand. Bucky lays his head back on Steve's shoulder, and as Steve takes Bucky's cock with the lube-slick hand and fondles his balls with the other, Bucky groans and grabs your thighs to keep them wrapped around both their bodies.

Steve talks in Bucky's ear, but they both look at you. You're past the point of being self-conscious, so you bring your arms up behind your head and arch your back. You see Steve bite Bucky's neck and you wiggle a little, knowing it will cause your breasts to sway back and forth.

Bucky leans back into Steve more and groans with pleasure. His hands are still on your thighs, rubbing and squeezing, dragging his fingers up and down your skin. He's thrusting into Steve's hand while Steve keeps his face in Bucky's neck. You absently think that you should pay attention to what Steve is doing so you'll know what Bucky likes, but you're too engrossed with everything else to concentrate coherently.

You use your hands to grab your breasts and pinch your nipples with your fingers. Steve's hand moves faster and Bucky's composure is all but lost.

"Bucky, I want you, I want to feel you, come darling, please come."

Steve bites down on Bucky's neck, Bucky nods at you then arches back, and his cock pulses as his cum shoots out and paints stripes all over your chest, neck, and even up to your chin. Steve's hand slows but doesn't stop. You reach your tongue out to try and lick up the cum from your chin while you gather some from your chest to smear over your breasts and around your nipples. Bucky moans, then collapses on top of you, dropping your thighs and pressing his chest against yours. 

He kisses you open-mouthed, saying between breaths,"Fuck, sweetheart, you're so hot, drivin' me fuckin' wild."

You smile, "Well, Steve and I have had two, we needed you to catch up."

He lifts his face and laughs, his eyes sparkle with happiness.

Steve lays on his side next to you and reaches his hand out to run through your hair. The strands are trussed together from sweat and completely tousled, but he doesn't seem to care, so you decide not to either. 

"Wait, honey, did you wipe your hand off or do I have lube and cum in my hair now?"

Steve's eyes widen, then he laughs. "Oh baby, I'm sorry, but you do." 

"Oh my god," you groan, then you reach with your sticky hand, still wet with Bucky's cum to grab his hair and bring him forward. Your lips press together hard at first, but you back off, lingering your lips on his, gentle and soft. You keep one arm around Bucky and bring the other from Steve's hair to stroke his face, "You boys really know how to treat a girl right, huh?"

"You deserve only the best," Bucky says with a gentle kiss placed to your cheek.

"And you know where not done, right," Steve murmurs next to you. 

You shiver in anticipation and kiss him again quickly, then bring your head back to look into his eyes, "I hope not, I was promised three."

Bucky moves to lay on your other side, but keeps a hand on your waist. "Steve, I changed my mind."

You and Steve look over to Bucky. He grins, "I want to get her to four."

Your eyes widen. He shifts and leans over you, smirking before pressing his mouth to your cheek just in front of your ear. "How's that sound, sweetheart?"

You nod dazedly, "Yes."

 

◆ ◆ ◆

 

Although you're sure that they aren't worn out whatsoever, there is an unspoken agreement to have a small break for water and bathroom relief. When you move to stand next to the side of the bed, your legs almost give out and Steve has to hold you at the waist to keep you from falling over. You blush in embarrassment, but Bucky speaks up.

"Sweetheart, that just means we're doing it right."

 

You come back with damp and dry towels to only Steve in bed. He smiles at you and pats the space beside him. As soon as you sit, he takes the washcloth from your hand, pushes you onto your back and starts to wipe you down, caressing as much as he is cleaning. 

"I was going to clean you off first," you say softly.

"You're a bit messier than me."

"I like it."

His eyes darken, but he continues to clean you. Bucky comes back into your room with three glasses of water and a plate of sliced fruit. You open you mouth to say something, but his incredible body, nude and on display, distracts you. The only word your brain can think of is _Thick_. You blush when you realize he caught you staring.

"Stevie, she is still blushin' after all that," he teases.

"Bucky..." you whine, "you both are just... so... ugh! You're these perfections of human form in my bedroom giving me orgasms and feeding me fruit. I'm _gonna_ blush!"

Steve lays his hand on your belly and stretches to kiss up your neck. "It's a pretty blush, we don't mind."

You hum, "Lemme clean you off, baby."

Bucky puts the cups of water and plate on your bedside dresser, then sits on the edge of the bed as you take your time wiping Steve down. One of Steve's arms is behind his head while the other runs up and down your side. You have trouble looking at his face without blushing even more. Once you're finished, he pulls himself up - by his abs alone, _damn_ \- and takes your hands in his face.

"Thank you, babygirl," he whispers and gives you a sweet little kiss. He pulls back and reaches for one of the glasses of water and hands it to you, waits for you to take a drink, then puts it back. He hands you a few slices of fruit next. After you take a bite, you reach to move the plate to the middle of the bed between you all. Bucky moves onto the bed completely and sits cross-legged next to you, and Steve remains stretched out while you fold your legs and bend them to your side, wincing a little as you move.

"Hmm, have we been a little too wild with you, sweetheart?"

You look over at Bucky with wide eyes. "I'm a little sore but, um, I don't want to stop?"

"We just gotta be more gentle."

"Well, I'm not a supersoldier, but I'm not a doll--" you cut yourself off and both men grin. You distinctly see Steve's dick twitch against his leg. 

Bucky grabs your hand and brings it to his mouth, "You're our doll, and we gotta be careful with you," before kissing your knuckles, then down to your fingertips. 

"I've missed you both so much these past few months," you sigh.

Steve resumes running his hand up and down your side, then your back.

"Will it always be like that? Where I don't hear from you for months at a time?"

Bucky shakes his head, a few strands of his hair tumble forward from where they had been tucked behind his ears, and he grips your hand firmly. "No, that was a unique circumstance."

"The mission was long and frustrating, and we had to cut off all normal communication," Steve continues, then quieter, "We didn't see your sweet message until two days ago when we got back to the Avengers compound."

"Oh! I know, it was silly--"

"--I would have responded in an instant had I not been baking on a rooftop in Barcelona," Bucky says.

"The whole point of setting up all this security is so you _can_ contact us. We want to hear from you," Steve replies softly.

"Can you let me know next time," you ask, almost whispering, "that you'll be without contact for a while? I suspected it was something like that because of what you had said about maybe being called in, but I'll just feel better knowing for sure."

"Yes. I should have this time and one of us will next time."

"Hopefully we won't have a mission like that for a while."

You've all been snacking while talking, and now the plate is empty. Bucky picks it up and puts it on the bedside table then turns back to you.

"Lay down between us, babygirl."

Steve gently pulls you down to lay on your back then lays his head on your chest while Bucky tucks in on your other side, putting his left arm under a pillow for you to lay your head on. They both maneuver your body gently, making themselves comfortable while you smile at all their adjustments. 

"You two are so wonderful," you say as you attempt to kiss whatever body part of theirs is closest to your mouth. (Bucky's shoulder and the crown of Steve's head.)

 

Their hands move slowly over your skin while you run yours through their hair and over their necks and shoulders. Your body is already starting to feel interested again, and you can feel them starting to respond as well, but you can also tell that there is no rush. You can just enjoy their touch without feeling the need for it to immediately lead to an orgasm. However, you can't stop your mind from wandering, thinking about how they'll touch you next, whether you'll feel their thick cocks inside you...

 

"Oh!" You suddenly remember something important that you did a few weeks ago. You dislodge both Bucky and Steve from their spots against you in order to reach to your dresser, grabbing an envelope in the drawer (still open from when Bucky got out the lube). 

"I meant to talk to you guys about this when you got here, but _some people_ just can't wait." You smile as you remove the paper from the envelope and unfold it. As you lay back down and the boys settle around you again, you continue, "I got tested. I mean, it had been a while since I've been sexually active anyway, but it's always good to be sure." 

You show them both the results printed on the page. "I'm also on birth control and have been for a few years now, so my body is well-adjusted and all that," you trail off. Steve and Bucky stay quiet, and you nervously continue. "So, uh, I've got a clean bill of health and am statistically unlikely to get pregnant. Also my menstrual cramps are much less painful but that isn't really relevant right now I guess..."

Steve sits up, and you see them look at each other over you. "Um, is everything okay? I know it was presumptuous of me, but I mean, I was right, we were going to have sex and I--"

As Steve grabs his phone from his jeans on the floor, Bucky cuts you off, "Baby, it's fine, that was absolutely smart and considerate of you, we're just realizing that we should do the same."

Steve talks to his phone, "JARVIS, could you please send my most recent medical review to this device? The one from two days ago would be great."

"Absolutely, Captain Rogers," a pleasant voice responds through the speakers, "May I recommend that the file delete after a certain period of time for security purposes?"

"Great, five minutes is enough."

"Hey JARVIS, same for me?" Bucky asks over you.

"Your records have been send to your device, Sergeant Barnes, also to be deleted in five minutes."

"Thanks, JARVIS."

"Happy to help, sir."

Steve and Bucky's phones buzz simultaneously. Bucky moves to grab his phone from his pants, and they both stay quiet for a moment as they scroll through the information.

"Page twelve, Buck."

"Thanks."

Steve hands you the phone; there, under a section headed, "Sexually-Transmitted Infections and Diseases," it lists a staggering number (more than yours, you realize) all with "negative" in the result column. 

Bucky hands you his phone with an identical-looking report. He kisses your cheek, "That was smart, sweetheart. We should have done that sooner."

"We tend to forget about things like that because of how our immune systems are now, and we haven't been with anyone else for a long time," Steve says. 

Steve takes back both of the phones and your paper and places them on your bedside table next to the plate. You all return to a similar position as before, but their hands are much more active on your body, causing you to make soft mews and moans. They aren't touching any direct erogenous zones - yet - but it doesn't matter when their hands turn your entire body into an erogenous zone.

Bucky tucks his face into your neck, "I'm going to be dreaming about you for a long time," he bites your skin, "how soft your skin is, how you feel when I squeeze, how you sound, god, the sounds you make," he trails off, kissing the spot where he bit.

Steve lifts your leg to cross over him, then strokes the inside of your thigh, his hand leaving goosebumps in its trail.

"You know, when Steve and I are on missions, we don't fuck often, if at all."

"Too big of a distraction that we learned the hard way."

"Nothing like being caught by AIM with a dick in your mouth."

You laugh breathlessly, " _Hard way--_ " you're cut off by Steve's fingers brushing the juncture where your thigh meets your pelvis. He turns his head to bite your ear in response to your cheeky pun.

Bucky chuckles and continues, "We were together for more than two months but no chance to be _together_."

"That _does_ sound terrible," you say without an ounce of sarcasm.

"So the moment we can and I'm begging for his thick cock in my ass, what does this fucker do?"

You look over to Bucky, and his eyes are dark and fierce.

"He takes it _slow_. Puts me against a wall, takes his time, all while telling me about the sounds you made for him." He presses forward to kiss you hard and quick, making you whimper.

"Yeah," he says headily, "like that."

Steve turns you on your side to face Bucky completely and presses his front to your back, softly grinding while laying kisses up and down your neck and shoulder.

"You like how I sound?" you ask, a little disbelievingly.

"I remember your whimpers and gasps and moans from when we kissed," he says with a wolfish grin, "I've liked all your sounds for a while, think about 'em all the time." He pushes his hard cock against your thigh. "But this, the way you sound now, it's different."

He slides his hand down your stomach, down through your hair to the very top of your seam, and he gently presses his index and middle finger into you, causing you to gasp and whine. It feels good, but your soreness creates the added sensation of pain.

"Yeah," he breathes, "and I'm wonderin' how many more we can discover tonight."

You bite back a moan. "So, um," you say, swallowing hard when Steve squeezes your inner thigh again, "what do you have planned next?"

"Well," Bucky replies, slowly drawing his hand up your belly to your breast, "this is where we really debated, because we couldn't decide who would get to have you first."

"We almost flipped a coin to resolve it," Steve chuckles into your neck.

"Oh my god, you guys."

Bucky continues, "But, I may have cheated a little bit. Tipped the argument in my favor." He gently pulls you away from Steve to roll you on your back, then climbs between your legs and leans back to grab the bottle of lube that had migrated to the foot of your bed.

"What did you do?" you ask. 

Steve sits up beside you, and Bucky hands the bottle to Steve. "Steve's gonna get me too if he goes second."

Your eyes widen and you look over to Steve who blushes and holds up his now shiny and slick fingers before reaching behind himself.

"Steve," you breathe, "holy shit." You look back to Bucky, "so that means... I get you now."

"Yeah, sweetheart, you do."

You push up to a sitting position and hold his face in your hands while you give him a kiss with a lot of tongue. "Baby, can I--" you stutter, then take a deep breath, "Can I ride you?"

Steve sighs, "I love riding him."

"Yeah," Bucky grunts, "because then you can be as controlling and demanding as you want."

"Are you telling me that Steve is a bossy bottom?"

"He's terrible. I'm hoping that having his dick busy inside you will tame him a bit."

You laugh and look at Steve who is blushing even more. "Are we calling you out?"

Quietly, Steve replies, "I like feeling full."

"Oh honey," you say as you lean forward and give him a quick and dirty kiss, "me too."

You look back at Bucky, who is now laying back on the pillows, his dark and flushed cock standing stiff against his hard stomach. You bite your lip, which is already so tender and swollen from attention. "Hear that, darling? We like to be full, and we've only got one guy who can give it to us both." You straddle his chest and move down so that your folds envelop his dick. You slide back and forth, reveling in his face as it becomes saturated with pleasure. You're wet again, and genuinely surprised that you haven't needed the lube for yourself yet. You watch as Bucky takes a few deep breaths before he smiles and he grabs your hips with his hands, slowing you down to a punishing pace. You grab his metal hand and bring it up to your chest and over your breast. When his fingers pinch your nipple, you gasp and grind a little harder.

"Fuck, babydoll, lemme be inside you."

You grind even harder and moan, "Oh, I _like_ babydoll."

Steve presses his mouth to the side of your face, "Yeah, babydoll, yeah you do."

You rise on your knees, shaking a little from both exertion and arousal, and reach behind you to gently take Bucky's cock and press the tip to your entrance, then drag it up through your folds to your clit. You do this a few times, smearing his dick through your wetness.

"Darling, you are gonna feel so good." You move to finally let him in but get the angle of your hips wrong when you start to lower yourself. Bucky cries out, sounding pained.

"Shit! I'm sorry! I'm not good at this," you worry.

He shakes his head and smiles. "Nah, sweetheart, just gotta try again," he says before manhandling your hips to tilt forward. He takes his cock and repeats the drag through your cunt. "Hold still just a second, babydoll," and he slides in.

 

Your brain shorts out while you take in the warmth and girth of his cock in your channel. He isn't moving yet, just keeping you full in a way that leaves you dazed and breathless. "Bucky," you whimper.

"Yeah, yeah me too, sweetheart," he breathes. You feel yourself quake gently around his dick, and he moans in response. "Fuck, babydoll. Okay," he takes a breath, "I'm gonna start to move and you follow once you feel comfortable with it."

You nod. He starts to thrust slowly, but you still lose your balance and throw your hands out to his chest, which is sweaty and hot under your touch. As his movement picks up pace and you start to move with him, your breasts, hanging heavy under you, start to bounce with the rhythm of your motion. 

"I love the way your body moves, baby," Steve says.

You laugh breathlessly, "That's good, because it sure moves a lot."

Bucky's hands leave your hips, slide up your waist and grab your breasts, squeezing then releasing them only to tap them underneath, jiggling them even more. You giggle and weakly chastise Bucky, but there is absolutely no intent in your tone.

You've settled into a smooth and steady pace, but you are struggling to hold yourself up; all of the exertion of the previous two rounds is wearing on you, and it is becoming much more difficult to keep a pleasurable pace. At the same time, you start to register a wet sound that isn't coming from where you and Bucky are joined, and you realize it's from Steve's hand preparing himself. You aren't aware of slowing down, instead all you can do is stare at Steve's beautiful face, currently looking blissful and a little smug. He leans forward and kisses you, missing your mouth at first but making his way over in a manner almost as wet as the noises from his hand. 

Steve breaks his contact with you to look at Bucky, "She's a little distracted, wouldn't you say?"

Bucky laughs, and you try to apologize for your lack of motion. "I just haven't watched that kind of prep before! Bucky, darling, I'm sorry, god what a lousy thing for me to do," as you start to move your hips again. 

"Mmm, not your fault, kitten, I just need to do my job better," and in one fluid motion, he pulls himself away, flips you to your back, kneels between your legs, lifts your hips and drives back into you, now thrusting in earnest and pressing his pelvis against your clit with each pump of his body.

You moan wantonly and throw your hands to the sheets around you for something to grip tight. It only provokes Bucky to thrust harder, while Steve bends over at the waist to suck the tit nearest to him, biting the skin around your areola.

"Yes, please! I want marks, I want you to bruise me, baby, please."

He grins and continues, while you watch his finger pump into himself. Bucky takes one of his hands from your hip to slap Steve's ass, and you watch it jiggle from the impact.

This round is wilder than the previous two. You feel unrestrained, and you can tell that both men are enthusiastically responding to your release of inhibitions. 

You can't stop chanting Bucky's name as he relentlessly drives into you, holding you up by gripping your ass firmly. You moan and start mindlessly begging, lost completely in the pleasure from his touch. 

"Jesus, Bucky, look at her," Steve gasps.

"God, babydoll you're perfect, you feel good?"

"Bucky, you make me feel amazing, you're so good to me, no one has ever made me feel this way," you say as you turn your head to Steve and look at him in the eyes as well. He grins proudly and bends to kiss you again. You barely reciprocate, so engulfed in everything Bucky is doing, his thrusts now pounding less and grinding more.

Steve presses his mouth to your ear and lays down next to you. He drags his hand that he's been using to prep himself across your sheets, then puts it on your belly, rubbing back and forth, moving up to your breast and gently cupping you and rubbing his thumb over your sore nipple. You feel his hard cock moving against your thigh, and his breaths are hot against your face. All of his touches push you further to the orgasmic edge, causing you whine and whimper in pleasure.

"You gonna come again, baby? Bucky's dick feels real good, huh?"

You nod and look back to Bucky, who lowers your hips so that he can lean down to kiss you, briefly pausing his thrusts with his dick still seated inside you. "You are perfect around me, sweetheart," he pants against your lips. 

You reach for his face and hold him close to you. "Please come inside me, I want to feel you, please baby," you beg.

"Fuck," Steve whispers, as Bucky groans loudly, bites your lip, then pulls away, readjusting his hands on you, raising the angle of your hips and thrusting into you harder than before. You can't help the little cries that escape your throat with each time his thick cock pushes into you again. 

Steve moves his hand from your breast over your belly, down to your cunt, leaving his fingers pressed on the skin just above your clit. 

You whine and plead, "Yes! Yes! Make me come, yes!"

"God, babydoll," Bucky moans over you.

"He's gonna fill you up, babygirl. Come on, come for us."

As if your body is helpless to do anything but what he commands, you arch your back and feel your mind blank while your voice cries out Bucky's name. Your orgasm rushes from your cunt to your ears, fingertips to your toes, your entire body locking as Bucky keeps hold of your hips and continues driving into you. 

Steve murmurs in your ear, "God, you're beautiful."

You come a little back to yourself as you feel Bucky's rhythm speed up and become a little erratic. You open your eyes to look at him, trying to convey all of your pleasure in your face. "Fill me up, darling," you whisper, your voice saturated with bliss.

"Fuck," Bucky says as he bites his lips, pumping his hips a few more times. His groan resonates in his chest, and you feel his cock swell before a hot pressure fills you - you gasp as you realize that it is his release.

"Yes, yes, yes Bucky, yes," you whine as his thrusts slow to a stop, and you reach your arms out to hold him. He leans down on his elbows, moving forward into your embrace while keeping himself deep inside you. He dips his face to kiss you sweetly, then turns to kiss Steve too.

"Gimme a moment, yeah?" he murmurs to Steve.

Steve's laugh is breathy and carefree. Bucky lays on you for another minute, held there by your arms around his shoulders. You cherish every place his skin touches yours, especially the way you can feel both your heartbeats in your cunt. When he lifts off of you and slides out, you try not to pout too much at the emptiness and shiver at the dirty feeling of his release leaking out of you, but the new sensation is an exquisite pleasure.

Bucky drops his face to your ear, "Don't worry, babydoll, Steve's gonna fill you up again real soon."

You turn your head to capture his lips again with yours. You're struggling with words and you aren't sure what you'd say anyway, so you just pour all your feelings into your kiss. You're still a little out of breath, so your lips are sloppy and uncoordinated. Bucky doesn't seem to mind.

"You feel good, sweetheart?" he murmurs, his soft voice buzzing against your skin. 

You let out an exasperated cry, and nod your head. You are on the verge of either tears or laughter, and luckily a version of the later happens when you start giggling and can't stop.

"Buck, I think you broke her," Steve murmurs as he strokes his hand up and down your side. You can feel how hard he is against your thigh, but there is no sense of urgency in his touch. Bucky just smiles then leans down to kiss your temple.

"I've never felt so cared for and been so physically pleasured. And you both have done that _three_ times in one night," you pause,"I think I might be the luckiest woman in the world." You stretch your neck and kiss him again, softly and only once, then whisper, "Thank you, darling."

You reach to cup his face with your hands, wanting to keep touching him as much as possible. You brush your thumbs across his cheeks, taking great pleasure in the way his eyes flutter shut with your gentle strokes. His face is starting to get a little rough from the beginnings of his five o'clock shadow. While still looking at Bucky, you quietly ask, "Steve, does he always make you feel this good?"

Steve curls up closer to your side and kisses your shoulder. "Yeah. He does."

 

Bucky's eyes jump back and forth between yours and Steve's, and then, like a quiet miracle, you watch as the very tops of Bucky's cheeks turn a little pink.

"Well, aren't we lucky," you say reverently.

Bucky's face flushes a little more, and when he can't seem to look at both of you anymore, he flops down on your other side and pushes his nose into your shoulder, then turns his face into the pillow. 

Steve whispers in your ear, "I love when he gets like this." Bucky's left arm reaches out over you and flicks Steve's shoulder.

"I would tease him more, but he did just give me one of the ... four best orgasms of my life."

"You countin' the one you haven't had yet?"

"No, I'm counting our first one..." you trail off quietly and turn from Steve's face bashfully.

For a few minutes, you all lay quietly together. Steve rests his arm across your belly while you rub your hand up and down Bucky's waist next to you. His face has emerged from the pillow to rest against your shoulder, peppering your skin with kisses every few moments. Eventually, Steve squeezes you with one arm while the other pushes under you, and he gently flips you onto his body, then sits up with you in his lap.

"My body feels like jell-o. Maybe I really am transforming into a doll."

Steve chuckles and tightens his arms around you. His hard dick pokes you in the belly. "Have we worn you out, baby? Are you finished for tonight?" he asks gently.

You shake your head and murmur, "I might need you to do a little more work, but I was promised four."

"A little more work, huh," he says, as he leans you back and kisses up your neck. 

He sucks a little at the juncture of your jawline, causing you to gasp as you say, "Is that okay, honey? I still really want to feel you," and you grind forward gently in his lap, pressing his cock into your sweat-slick skin.

"Don't worry, babygirl. I still got plenty of energy left for you."

Bucky sits up behind Steve as Steve pulls you back up. He kisses you over Steve's shoulder and you watch his flesh hand disappears beneath Steve's ass.

"Are you even ready?" he growls in Steve's ear, while Steve whines and wiggles under you.

"I got distracted," he says, causing both you and Bucky to laugh.

"Alright, looks like I have to do all the work, like always," Bucky says with an exasperated tone.

"I think we can forgive him, darling. I was pretty enraptured watching you in action too," you reply, giving Steve a quick wink.

Bucky flashes you a bright smile, then nudges Steve. "Lie her on her back again, and then our beautiful doll can keep you busy while I get you ready."

You quickly lean forward to kiss Steve, while using your hand around his shoulder to reach up to Bucky's hair. You feel Bucky's metal arm caress your back, giving you goosebumps and making you wiggle in Steve's lap and moan into his mouth. Steve smiles and breaks your kiss, lifting you off his lap to lie you back on the bed. You let go of Bucky and return both arms to Steve's shoulders.

"You're so good to me," you whisper.

"As good to you as you are to us," he replies against your lips, and his pace softens and slows. His lips caress your neck, and his teeth barely press into your skin, creating nothing that will leave a mark though you are sure there are plenty that already cover your entire body. Steve keeps making little whines and moans while he kisses you. When his mouth makes its way down your chest, you look to see Bucky two fingers deep in Steve's ass, and when he sees you watching, he mouths, _Watch this_. You're too distracted by Steve to respond, but your gaze follows Bucky's to look at his fingers. You see them curl at the knuckle and you feel Steve shudder and release your nipple where he had been attached to cry out.

"Oh honey, does that feel good? I bet it does, Bucky's making sure you're perfect for him, hmm?"

Steve moans in response, nods quickly and takes you back into his mouth. You gasp and look up at Bucky, who watches you both contentedly. When he looks in your eyes again, you bite your swollen lips and smile, breaking only to gasp when Steve bites a little harder.

"Honey, baby, god," you whine. Bucky smiles again, and you watch as he begins to work a third finger into Steve.

"Do you like watching us, darling?"

"The only thing better would be doing it myself."

Steve's mouth makes its way back up your neck, licking and laying wet, open-mouthed kisses all over your skin. You use your hands to run up his back, where they had been moving over his muscles, to his face to get him to look you in the eyes again. You take a moment to enjoy his intense and aroused gaze, running your hand through his hair before leaning forward to nip at his lips and lick them over with your tongue. You hear a sharp _slap!_ and Steve breaks away from you to cry out. 

You look at Bucky again who is rubbing Steve's plump and almost creamy-pale cheek. He smiles and leans forward whispering, "Steve, where did you put the lube we brought?"

Steve huffs and grits out, "Jeans pocket."

"Is my lube gone?"

"Almost, but his stuff is gonna last a little longer for what I'm about to do." Bucky smacks Steve's ass again, and you watch the way the muscle jiggles. You can feel Steve's hardness dragging along your thighs and you keep getting peeks of Bucky's thick cock hanging between his legs whenever Steve shifts and adjusts. 

Bucky grabs Steve's hips and pulls him back. "Come on, Stevie, let's do this."

Steve pushes up to his elbows and grins, bending to give you one last kiss on the lips before standing right in front of Bucky at the edge of the bed. You get a good look at his uncut cock as he writhes against Bucky, who huffs a laugh and drags his hands up Steve's thighs to his chest, minutely grinding back into Steve.

"How do you guys keep going like this?"

"We've got a good view," Steve smiles, still so charming despite everything that mouth has done tonight.

"And a biological-modifying serum," Bucky says with no small amount of cheek.

"Luckily, we get to put it to good use tonight," Steve says as he wraps his hands around the backs of your knees and yanks you forward. Your ass just hangs off the edge of the bed and Steve moves between your legs. He gently drags two fingers up through your folds, then slides his cock behind, not yet entering you, just gently teasing over your sensitive skin. 

"God, baby, you're still wet for us,"

You whimper because you might still be a little wet, but you are also very sore and raw from all their attention. You squirm from Steve's touch, wanting more and relief at the same time. Steve reaches to your side and grabs your bottle of lube, squirting some into his hand then rubbing gently over your pussy. You whine, shifting around on your back while Bucky rubs his slick hands over your thighs.

"Want you to stay slick, babygirl, don't want you hurting," Steve says as he looks over your body again, then smirks, "well, any more than you already do." 

"Feel so good, better than ever before."

"Mmm," he hums, while returning his fingers to your pussy. He circles your entrance and dips a little inside, "Still got a little bit of Bucky to help keep you slick too, huh?"

"Oh my god," you whisper breathlessly. You didn't know you could get even more riled up.

"Do you like feeling him inside you, babydoll?"

You nod rapidly then whisper, "Wanna have you in me too."

Steve moans and slides his dick through your cunt again. "Yeah, I want that too," he says and turns his head to look at Bucky. "You ready?"

"I _been_ ready," he growls, grinding harder against Steve's backside. He presses his mouth into Steve's ear, "You first."

Steve turns to kiss Bucky quick and wet, then looks back at you, the target of his aroused and intense focus. His hands reach under your ass to lift you off the bed, and then he starts to push in. You're too delirious by the feeling to spare a moment to compare their dicks inside you. All you know is that they are both glorious and both belong to a man who looks at you like you hung the moon. Steve's thrust is slow and controlled, moving until his pelvis touches your skin and you feel his balls brush against your ass. Your breathing becomes a little uneven, all of the combined sensations causing your brain to ignore everything but his thick cock. 

"Well ain't that a gorgeous sight," Bucky whispers.

"Please," you whisper back. Steve pulls out slowly until only the head still remains inside you. Your hands grab tightly at the sheets to your sides.

"Steve, please!"

He grins, only to slowly enter you again. His hips begin to roll, slowly dragging his cock in and out of your sore, slick pussy until he pauses when he's fully seated inside you once more. Bucky bites at his ear and puts one hand on his hip, the other gripping low near his own pelvis.

"Ready?" he whispers to Steve. Steve nods and bites his lip, his gaze not leaving your face. You are enraptured as you watch his expression change, and he takes in his own fullness. You let yourself squeeze Steve's cock a few times and delight as you watch his face look to the ceiling, and he whispers a small " _fuck_."

Bucky speaks up from behind Steve, "We just gotta give him a moment for his brain to reboot."

"I'm in no rush," you say, squeezing around Steve again.

Steve whispers to the ceiling, "Babygirl, if you keep doing that," he trails off. 

"Come on, Steve, I want you to fuck me good."

Bucky smiles and presses Steve forward, which presses Steve's pelvis into your clit.

"Yes!" you gasp.

"Ready, Stevie," Bucky says, running his hands up and down Steve's sweaty and tight torso.

With a huff, "Not even a minute with you two," then he lifts your ass again and slowly pulls back out, pushing Bucky back, and slams back in. You grunt from the impact and you hear Bucky mumble, "hold on a second, I slipped out. You gotta let me be in control, pal."

You giggle, "Wasn't that the plan all along?"

He bites Steve's earlobe and growls, "Yeah. Stick to the plan, Stevie."

Steve laughs and they refocus, creating a rhythm that drives you mad. It is steady and firm and leaves no moment for you to pause or take a deep breath, instead each thrust makes you gasp with a small " _ah!_ " Steve's hands have stayed at your hips, gripping you so tightly that you might have hand-shaped bruises in the morning. Bucky's got one hand on Steve's pelvis and the other squeezing your calf, barely still wrapped around them both.

You pull your hands from the sheets to fondle your breasts, kneading and pinching and running your fingers all over. Your gasps become breathy moans, and as much as you want to keep your eyes open to watch them, you have difficulty focusing on anything but your pleasure. The combined steady thrusts from Steve and Bucky have you feeling incredible and you know your fourth orgasm isn't far off.

"Bucky, I don't like how far away she is, we gotta figure something else out."

"Far away?" you question, feeling like you're coming out of a daze.

"I need to be kissing that look on your face but I can't reach you," Steve says deliriously, almost angrily, then grunts as he thrusts into you again.

His comment and tone of voice makes you flush in a very different way than you have before. He _wants_ you, and he's becoming more unrestrained by the moment from his desire. 

"God, Bucky, she's still blushing! We gotta," he whines, impatiently and almost petulantly before thrusting sharply once more. He stays buried deep inside you and he bends at the waist to kiss you. You push up on your elbows to meet him, but all the movement causes you each to fall away. There are three variations of moans and whimpers, and Steve wraps his arms behind your back and pulls you forward. He kisses you down your neck, and when you open your eyes, you see Bucky watching you hungrily while stroking his slick cock.

"What about the wall, Steve?" he says.

"Like that time in London?"

"Exactly."

Steve pulls you a little more forward to the edge of the bed, and you place your feet on the floor but struggle to even consider standing up on your own. You look up to Steve and bite your lip. "I'm not sure my legs work anymore."

"That's alright, baby, I'll hold you up."

"Mmm, my big strong man," you murmur.

"Don't you forget it," Steve purrs in your ear, putting his hands under your thighs, wrapping your legs around him and lifting you effortlessly off the bed. You wrap your arms around his shoulders and hold your hand out towards Bucky.

"Darling, come here," you moan.

Bucky moves forward as if pulled by your voice.

"How do you feel," you ask, running your hand through his hair once he's close enough for you to reach. He shuts his eyes and smiles as you pass your hand through his hair again, then turns his lips to your wrist and kisses your skin. He moves his mouth up your arm until he is pressed against Steve and you can wrap your arm around his metal shoulder. 

"About to be a whole lot better," he says.

Steve has moved so that your back is pressed against the wall, and he holds you so securely that you have no fear of being dropped.

"Alright babygirl, I'm going to hold on to you but you'll need to lean back a little, so just use your shoulders against the wall, okay?"

You nod, and Bucky wraps his arms around Steve's chest and brings his hands up to Steve's pecs, giving a squeeze and flick to his nipples. Steve gasps a little and bites his lip.

"Is he trying to distract you, baby?"

"He's gonna have to try harder than that," Steve huffs.

You lean forward to capture Steve's lips. "Everything is a challenge with you, huh?"

Steve laughs, then gasps again. You pull back slightly to see Bucky biting Steve's neck.

"She's got your number, Stevie," he growls. He turns his face to you, "Ready, sweetheart?"

You nod again and Steve bumps your cheek with his nose. All of your faces are so close that the air between you is hot and wet just from your collected breaths.

"I'm ready," you whisper.

Steve asks, "Can you line me up, babydoll?" It takes you an extra moment to realize what he's asking, but your thoughts catch up and allow you push back against the wall with your shoulders and reach to grab his dick and drag the tip through your pussy.

"Don't... tease," he whines. You laugh lightly, but also want him to be back inside you, so you press the tip into your entrance and tilt your hips forward. Steve grins and pushes right back in, causing you to moan in relief.

"Steve, you feel..." you moan again as he thrusts into you and you put your hands just above his pecs, squeezing his firm muscles.

"Yeah babygirl, lemme hear everything."

There is another pause in movement, and you watch as Steve's eyes flutter shut and his face transforms into an expression of pure bliss. Bucky pushes his hips forward, and the three of you are joined once again and moving together. Steve's hands stay under your thighs and your shoulders push against the wall. Bucky's pressed right up against Steve with the metal arm around your leg and the other on Steve's hip.

"Just let me guide," he says into Steve's ear. Steve nods and rubs his temple into Bucky's hair. 

Steve hasn't opened his eyes, and when you look over to Bucky, your own eyes struggling to stay open, you see him smile. You can't help but lean forward to kiss him. On a particularly strong thrust, he reaches with his neck to meet your mouth over Steve's shoulder. The kiss is innocent and sweet, just a press of lips that turns into a smile, your bodies moving too much for anything more than a tentative connection. While you're still close to Bucky, Steve grinds into you in an exceptionally pleasing way. Your moan breaks you away from Bucky completely and Bucky chuckles.

"Somethin' the matter, pal?" Bucky thrusts hard. "Can't even let me kiss our girl," another hard thrust with a loud moan from Steve, "gotta have all the attention." Thrust.

He doesn't back off, and you watch Steve fall apart. He whines and cries out and takes in gulping breaths. You move your hand to Steve's hair and alternate between running your fingers through and pulling roughly. Steve's eyes flash open at you, and then the pace of Steve's thrusts picks up as he holds your thighs at just the right angle for you to fall apart with him. 

 

Your final orgasm starts slow, and though it isn't the strongest of the night, it thrums and lasts, making you pulse again and again around Steve's cock. Your legs tremble and you whine Steve's name over and over. You're so lost in the feeling that you almost miss Steve coming, but his wanton cry catches your attention and you fall forward, almost crashing into his lips. Steve doesn't mind and immediately kisses you in return, and you hear small little sighs escape his throat with each touch of your lips. Your bodies are still rocking as Bucky pushes toward his own finish, which only makes your pussy continue to thrum and pulse. You try to keep kissing Steve, but exhaustion has made you weak, and your mind drifts and floats with all the endorphins rushing through your system. 

Maybe you'll feel a little guilty about it later, but you barely register Bucky's finish, or Steve pulling out of you, releasing his cum from your pussy to leak down the inside of your thighs. You are cradled in someone's firm arms then gently placed onto your bed. Moments later, you feel a warm wet cloth running over your skin. You open your eyes and see Bucky smiling adoringly back at you.

"Hey," he whispers, "you back, babydoll?"

"Where did I go?" you slur.

"Somewhere good, I hope."

You nod in absent assent and reach out, "B'ky, c'mere." 

He lowers into your arms and kisses your cheek very softly. "Are you alright? How do you feel?"

"Tingly... 'n glowy."

"Sounds like a good combination," he says as he continues to softly press kisses to your skin.

"Where's Steve?"

Bucky pulls you into his chest and places a few more kisses on your forehead. "He's cleaning up. He'll be back in a moment." He resumes wiping you with the cloth, prolonging your tingling feeling everywhere he wipes. However, it doesn't matter how soft his touch is when he finally moves to clean your sex. You whine, squirming away from him for the first time all night.

"Are you sore, sweetheart?" he whispers. "Your big strong men need to be much more gentle with you next time." His hand with the towel goes back, more slowly and barely pressing into your skin. 

You whimper again and smile. "Mmm, my big strong men. How d'you feel, darling?" You look to Bucky, your eyes barely open to see him smiling at you, his face full of satisfaction. He brushes some of your sweaty hair from your forehead.

"M'gross," you murmur.

"You're perfect."

You feel the bed dip next to you, and Steve curls into your side. 

"Hi honey, r'you all clean?"

He presses his nose into your cheek and takes a deep breath before pulling away slightly. "Not really, but at least not as sticky or slick," he says, running his hand up and down your thigh. "How are you feeling, babygirl?"

You hum and preen under his soft touch. 

"Look at that sweet face," Bucky says over you to Steve. Steve bends to place a flutter of butterfly kisses on your shoulder.

"Y'guys are taking such good care of me, I promise I'll be better next time," you murmur.

Bucky says your name directly, causing you to open your eyes and look at him. Once he has your attention, he says, "If I tell you that you were perfect, will you believe me?"

You nod your head hesitantly.

Steve wraps his arm around your waist, pulling you closer to his side. He whispers in your ear, "Good, because you were absolutely perfect. Did you enjoy yourself tonight?"

You nod again.

"So did we. It was better than we planned, and that plan kept us sane for a solid month of our mission."

Bucky leans forward again to whisper in your ear. "You make us so happy in so many ways," he kisses the space just in front of your ear. "You are perfect, sweetheart, perfect."

Steve continues to rub your side softly and kiss your shoulders, whispering _perfect_ every few kisses.

You mumble, "I'm so happy you're here," before your eyes become too heavy to stay open, your body's fatigue overtaking your conscious thought. You say something else that causes a little gasp from Steve, but you're already halfway asleep, too drowsy to care. Your lastfeelings before complete slumber are of Steve and Bucky's bodies slowly settling around you, their heat creating a cocoon where you feel safe, cared for, and appreciated. Between one breath and the next, you fall asleep.

 

 

 

 

 

◆ ◆ ◆

 

 

 

 

 

You wake up alone in bed, but not alone in the room. There's barely any light from behind the blinds, so you know it's very early in the morning. As your eyes adjust to the semi-darkness, you hear Bucky.

"Why did you even have the damn thing on?" he whispers, his voice deep and hushed.

"Come on, Buck, you know I can't be without a method of contact."

Bucky's sitting on the edge of the bed by your feet while Steve gets dressed, pulling on his jeans over his briefs. 

"You're leaving?" you whisper, struggling to speak without croaking after the night's rest.

Steve looks up and pauses in his assembly, coming over to sit next to you. He gently pushes his hand into your hair and brings it back to your cheek.

"Morning, baby. I was going to wake you before I left."

You sit up, dislodging his hand from your face. "But--" 

"--I know, babygirl. I know. I'm sorry I have to go so soon, but there's an emergency."

You look over to Bucky, and feel a tiny bit of relief to see him still naked. "Are you leaving now too?"

He shakes his head, but he doesn't say anything. He looks annoyed.

You look back at Steve and you can feel the pressure of tears building. His face is sad and pained. You hate seeing him this way, especially when flashes of last night run through your mind. His joy and ecstasy and laughter made you so happy, and as your recollections become more vivid, you can't stop the tears from falling down your face. You wish you could stop, especially since you know that he really must leave and your emotional display won't make it easier for either of you. He brings his hands to your cheeks and brushes the tears away, then leans in to kiss you gently on your forehead.

"I'm so sorry honey, I'm sorry I'm crying," you say between sobs. "I know you have to go when you're called. I just--"

"I wanted more time with you too," he whispers. "I know, baby."

You sob again. Bucky slides over to your side and rests his metal hand on the small of your back, just above where the blanket sits around your waist. Steve pulls you into his arms, his chest still bare so your breasts press right against his skin. He tucks his face into your neck and takes a deep breath.

"I don't think it will be nearly as long before I see you again," he whispers against your skin. "I'm going to do everything I can to come back soon, but I really have to leave now."

"I know. I know you do," you say in between sniffles. Your tears are wetting his skin where your face is pressed into his shoulder. "I really am so happy for any time I get with you, you know that, right?"

"I do, beautiful girl."

You pull away to look him in the eyes. "You come back safe."

"I'll do everything I can to make that happen."

 

Steve kisses you, softly, and you can feel how much he regrets leaving. The kiss breaks and he leans his forehead on yours a moment before standing back up to finish dressing. You wipe your face, not caring about your appearance even though you forgot to wash your makeup off last night. You get up, your legs weak and sore, because there is no way that you are going to let him leave without seeing him to the door for one final kiss goodbye. You step around him to get to your closet and pull out a pair of underwear and one of your old t-shirts. Bucky gets off the bed and picks up his briefs, still on the floor after being tossed aside last night.

None of you say anything. You stay quiet because you've finally stopped crying, and you know that the lack of tears is a very tentative and delicate state; talking in any way would likely break that and crying won't make the current situation any easier. You guess that Steve stays quiet because he doesn't want to make his exit any worse. Bucky... Bucky hasn't said anything, and he keeps giving dark looks to Steve. You're not sure if he knows that you have seen them, or if he cares. 

 

Once it's clear that Steve has everything he arrived with and there's no avoiding his departure any longer, so you all file out of the room and head to the front door. Steve walks in front of you and Bucky a few steps behind you, his hand rests again on your lower back. You keep taking deep breaths, trying your best to hold back the tears you can feel building again. Steve opens the front door and steps outside, then turns back to face you. The twilight sky is still dark enough that the porchlight illuminates his face more than the dawning sun. He reaches out to Bucky and takes his metal hand. You look to Bucky's face, and it softens from annoyance to worry. 

"Be safe," he grunts. Looking down to their joined hands, you see Steve's squeeze Bucky's, then release it. Looking up again, Steve's gaze is steady on yours. He takes in your whole face, then steps forward, reaching out to cup your cheeks in his hands. He studies you for a moment longer, then leans in.

His good-bye kiss is short but intense. He pulls back to look you in the eyes again then turns quickly and walks away. Bucky comes up behind you to stand with his hand on your waist while you both watch Steve get on a motorbike and ride off without a single glance back.

As soon as Steve is out of sight, your tentative hold on your tears is broken and you burst into sobs. Bucky pulls you into his chest and maneuvers you back inside the house. 

 

He rests his head on yours while you cry and rubs your back gently. You start to talk into his chest between sobs, telling him how you know what they have to do, that they'll have to leave, but you hadn't been thinking about them leaving again just yet, it was so long since you had seen them, and for some stupid reason you thought you'd have more time, and you would never want to give this up but you didn't realize how hard it is to be without them for such long periods of time.

Bucky keeps a firm hold of you while you cry, and eventually lifts you into his arms and carries you back to your bedroom. He places you gently on the bed and immediately lays next to you and pulls you into his arms. He lets you cry until you finally run out of tears and quiet down again, sniffling but otherwise calm. 

"I know it's hard," he whispers, breaking the silence. "It's hard for us too, but I know it's worse for you to hear nothing from us."

"I don't want you to think that I regret it, or that I've changed my mind," you say. "I'm sorry for crying so much--"

"--Sweetheart. Cry as much as you need to. I'm just glad I can be here to hold you right now. This is all really hard. But I think I have some good news for you. Well, I hope you'll think it's good news," he adds with hesitance.

When you look up to him, his face is so close, and you see nothing but compassion and understanding.

"What is it?"

"If you'd like, I can stay the whole weekend."

You couldn't hide the happiness in your voice if you tried. "Really? The whole weekend?"

"Really. How's that sound?"

"Oh, Bucky," you say before pressing your lips to his. You kiss him for a moment and pull back again. "I would love nothing more than for you to stay with me this weekend. Darling, that's wonderful!"

"I know it's not a lot of time--"

"--it is perfect and I feel so lucky. Really, I do." You kiss him again then tuck your head under his neck. "This relationship means so much to me, I'm just a big emotional sap." His arms squeeze you tighter, and you take a deep breath. You both still smell like sex and sweat. You'll need to take a shower when you get back out of bed, but for now you just want to savor this moment in his arms. Bucky keeps placing gentle kisses on your head, and you fall back to sleep.

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is probably the closest I'll ever come to a "cliffhanger." I hope you enjoyed this chapter! Thank you as always for the kudos and comments, they always brighten my day (and week).
> 
> (Also, if there are any tags that you think I should add, please let me know!)


	10. Weekend with Bucky

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't expect this chapter to be such a challenge to write, but I kept encountering these moments that needed depth and careful thought, and I couldn't just let the reader and Bucky stay in bed all weekend (though they still do spend a lot of time there). I really hope you enjoy it, and I hope it is worth the wait.
> 
> And as a heads-up: there is an intense sex scene toward the end of the chapter. For more details, see the end note!

 

 

When you wake again later in the morning, Bucky's arms are still wrapped around you, his body spooning yours. You're sticky and a bit overheated, and your general scent smells less sexy in the morning light. You feel Bucky squeeze you a little tighter, and he whispers, "I think we deserve a shower, sweetheart."

"I smell pretty rank, huh."

"You smell like I gave you an amazing night, and it almost makes me want to start again."

You turn around to face him, "Mmm, and why don't we?"

"I saw how stiffly you were moving when we walked Steve out earlier. Your body needs a rest," he says, then kisses your forehead.

"Stupid normal human body."

"We have the whole weekend. We'll get another chance."

"We better!" you pout. "Okay, shower. You want to go first, or me?"  


"I was thinking together," he says, lifting his eyebrow.

Your very sore, very tired body, traitorous as it is, still responds to that. "I thought you didn't want to start anything," you whine.

Bucky laughs, "I don't, I swear. I want to help that body start to recover and a nice warm shower will help."

"Fine," you sigh. Bucky runs his hand up and down your side, smiling at you. You struggle to keep your eyes on his and tuck your face into his neck.

"Come on, babygirl. Let's get up."

Bucky's face is smug when you wince through the entire movement to get out of bed. You refuse to outright say that he is right (but he is). You are so sore. You take off your shirt as you walk to the bathroom then stumble slightly to get out of your underwear. When you get in front of your bathroom mirror, you stop to stare. You are absolutely stunned at the state of your naked body. You have mouth-sized dark spots all along your neck and chest, and your breasts are red and bruised. You turn to look at your backside, and are both shocked and not to see large dark marks just under your ass on your thighs. The soreness of your body already provides you with a wonderful physical memory of your night with Bucky and Steve, and now you realize that you'll have these marks for days, each a reminder of their attention to you and the ecstasy you experienced.

"Wow," you breathe.

You look over at Bucky who is standing in the bathroom doorway. He doesn't look as pleased about the marks. He looks regretful. "Are you sure you're alright, sweetheart?"

You nod and reach out. He gives you his metal hand and you pull him forward to kiss his knuckles then kiss up his arm, the metal cool against your lips, to his scarred shoulder and neck, where you rest your face and release a large exhale. He gently wraps you in his arms. 

"Now it's impossible for me to think it was all a dream," you whisper. He squeezes you, and you kiss his neck and take deep breath, reveling in the scent of sweat and sex. "You smell good."

He chuckles. "I know you'll get me smellin' good again soon, but I bet you'd like to stop feeling so sticky."

You laugh, "I _guess_." After another moment, you remember that Steve left too quickly for a chance to clean up. "Did Steve show up for his mission smelling like sex?" 

"He did, and he's gonna use that to his advantage like the asshole he is." Bucky pulls back to smile down at you. "He's gonna be all cranky, everyone will know why, and they'll all feel bad for calling him in. It's exactly what he wants because he is a manipulative bastard. A master guilt-tripper." For how aggressive Bucky's words about Steve are, you can't believe how lovingly he speaks them. "But if Natasha or Sam are there, they'll tease him plenty and get him to blush." 

"Mmm, that _blush,"_ you say, leaning back in to nuzzle Bucky's chest. He squeezes you again, then steps back and around to your shower.

It isn't big. Nor is the showerhead high enough for you to stand under without crouching. Bucky takes a look at the whole space and then laughs.

"We'll squeeze in and stand close," he murmurs.

You still feel a little self-conscious standing naked in front of Bucky, but the feeling is getting smaller each time he looks at you with such evident desire. As he turns away from you to get the shower ready, testing the temperature with his hand, you take a moment to look him over again in the morning light. He is a wall of muscle, and even though you spent all night admiring him, it's all you want to do now too. So you stand and stare.

"Didn't you get a good enough look last night, sweetheart?"

"No."

He turns his head to look at you and you grin. He laughs at your forwardness.

"Alright, water should be good. Get in," he says.

Under the water spray, you aren't sure what you should do, so you figure you'll just start your routine. Once you're wet, Bucky gets in behind you. You reach for the shampoo but he grabs your wrist, "I'm doing all that, sweetheart." You keep your eyes locked on each other while he squirts a small handful of shampoo into his hands, then reaches forward for your head.

 

The moment his hands go to your hair, you realize you're going to cry. Again. Even after an entire night of passion and attention, you still are overwhelmed by his tender touch. It takes Bucky almost a minute to notice your tears with all the running water.

"Did I get soap in your eye?" he asks in a joking tone. You try to laugh as to not draw attention, but it comes out exactly like a sob.

"Sweetheart..."

"You know, I think this is the first time someone's ever done this for me."

"Really?"  


"Yeah, it's wonderful."

"So you're okay?"

"Yes, just adjusting to your care." You hesitate for a moment, "Can I... can I touch you too?"

Bucky dips to kiss you, "I'd really like that."

Bucky massages your head with the shampoo, and you have your hands on his waist, caressing up and down. Everything feels sensual, not sexual, and Bucky's touch is comforting and relaxing. Your legs keep shaking from soreness, and Bucky asks every time he sees you wince. Once he's finished shampooing, he takes hold of your back and neck and dips you into the water spray to rinse. He takes the opportunity to kiss your neck softly when he does.

He brings you upright to stand on your own again, and grabs the loofah and soap. He turns to you and quietly asks, "Is there anywhere you don't want me to wash? For you, that is?"

"Can I let you know if you get there?"

"Okay, be sure you do."

Bucky turns you away from him so that your backs are both to the shower spray and starts by washing your neck and shoulders. He steps to the side so that the water can rinse you, then kisses your nape. Rather than turn you around, he pulls you to his chest and washes your front with his head on your shoulder. He takes his time, going along your collarbone with the loofah, then following with his hand. He washes each breast gently, careful of your red and sensitive nipples. You watch his hands as he touches you while still marveling at how bruised and marked your skin is. He continues down to your belly, its softness cherished with every pass of his hand. You clench your eyes as you feel more tears pushing their way through, then lean your head back onto his shoulder. He continues his caressing wash and turns his face to kiss the side of yours again and again. You turn your head to him and kiss his lips, at first light, then as the pace slows, your tongues push and touch the other. Bucky's hands push lower on your torso, and now you understand what he was asking before: he intends to wash you completely. 

Bucky feels you pause from your realization and asks, "Still okay, sweetheart?" against your lips. You nod, moving past your initial hesitance, and he uses his hand to gently wash your sex clean. You flinch once from the overall soreness, and he kisses your cheek in response.

"Why does this feel so much more intimate than when you literally had your face down there?" you wonder aloud.

"Probably because when it feels good, you just don't give a fuck."  


You laugh, "Yeah, that makes sense."

He finishes and turns you back around to face him. "Lean your back against the wall so I can wash your legs," he says as he sinks to his knees in front of you.

"Will I get to wash you too?"

He looks up at you, "If you want?"

"Of course I want."

 

He takes extra time on your legs, massaging more than washing, causing you to tremble on your feet more than once. 

"How are you feeling, sweetheart?"

You look down and smile, then feel your mouth transform into a smirk, "Lil' weak in the knees."

Bucky leans forward to bite the skin of your thigh just above your knee where the soap had already rinsed away. "You and your sass."

 

When you are completely clean, you get the shampoo and lather Bucky's hair, trying to massage his head a little but knowing you'll save the good massage for the conditioner. He hums with pleasure. As he rinses his hair of the suds, you open the shower curtain a little to reach out to the cabinet under the sink so that you can grab your leave-in conditioner. 

"What are you doing?" he asks.

"Getting the good stuff."

"Sweetheart, don't waste anything fancy on me."

"Nothing will ever be a waste on you! And how dare you deny me the chance to give you ultra-silky smooth hair to run my fingers through all day," you tease.

He huffs a laugh but lets you use the conditioner. You work it through his strands, then gently press your fingers into his scalp, dragging your thumbs across his head just like you remember the hairstylists doing at your salon. Bucky sighs and smiles as you continue your tender attention. After a few minutes, you lean forward to kiss his nose, then reach for the loofah and lather it up with soap again.

Gently, you ask, "What about you, darling? Is there anywhere you don't want me to wash?"

"You wonderin' about the arm? It's fine, sweetheart."

"Well, and other parts."

He chuckles, "I'm all yours."

"Mmm, you are, aren't you?"

You take the time, now that you have good reason, to worship his body with your touch. You try to give a moment to every bit of him, leaving kisses wherever you can, using a tighter grip in places, embracing the opportunity to pour all of your care onto him. (And you feel it, deep in your heart and subconscious, something much stronger that you're too scared to acknowledge.) When you're on your knees, mirroring his prior position to clean your legs, you look up his body and see him getting thick. 

"Oh, hello there," you say before pressing a soft kiss to the tip. "May I?"

"Don't worry about that, kitten. I just can't help getting excited when my beautiful doll is taking so much time to make me feel good."

You stand again, your legs shake from the minor strain, and pull him close. "I'm sure bein' on my knees had nothing to do with it, hmm?" He laughs and you continue, "Let's rinse this conditioner and get out so I can make us some breakfast. Lean back, darling." 

As the water runs through his hair, you are already excited by how soft it already feels, and you absolutely plan to run your hands through it at every opportunity today.

 

After you towel each other off, you go back to the bedroom to dress. 

"Sweetheart, do you think you could wear what you had on before?"

"Last night?"

"No, this morning, when we said good-bye to Steve."

"The t-shirt undies combo? Sure," you respond curiously. You reach for your bra and Bucky comes up to you and pulls your hand away from it.

"No, I mean, just like you were," and he puts the t-shirt back in your hands.

"What's so special about it?" you wonder as you slip on the t-shirt. With it, you've got your plain panties, and nothing seems special about this look other than it is comfortable.

"I just really like this outfit on you," Bucky says, standing close. He brings his hands up to your breasts, held tight by the cotton cloth, and brushes the backs of his fingers over your nipples, still sore and raw from last night. You huff and let out a soft whine.

"I like it a lot," he repeats softly, then pulls his hands away again.

"So do I get to decide what you wear?" You say, placing your hands on his bare chest. He hasn't put on any clothes yet, and his skin is still warm and damp from the shower. 

"Is it for me to stay naked," he smirks. 

"Well, that _is_ a good look on you," you laugh. You grab his stretchy sleep pants from the bed and put them in his hands. You whisper, "No bra, no briefs." With a smirk you turn to walk out of the room, and Bucky pinches your butt. You can't help the squeak that escapes your throat.

 

As you cook breakfast, you discuss the weekend.

"I can call to find out if I can move my appointment tomorrow."

"Nah, I can go to the gym and get a few good hours in."

"Do you want to go today? I can bring a book or something. Or I can drop you off and run some errands?"

"Kitten, this weekend is about being with you in every possible moment. I can spare the workout today."

"Well, wouldn't want you getting fat on my account," you reply sarcastically.

He chuckles and pinches your chubby middle. "You should have seen me when I was eleven, what a little chubster."

"Aww, all that baby fat hadn't burned away yet? I should ask Steve just how chubby you were."

" _Everyone_ was chubby in comparison to Steve."  


"Bet he'll tell me how cute you were. Lil' Bucky Barnes with chubby cheeks, I'm dying just thinking about it."

"Did you have a chubby phase?"  


"Baby, I'm still in my chubby phase."

Bucky laughs and kisses your cheek. He turns from you to move to the kitchen table, then asks, "Where's the HELEN tablet, sweetheart?"

"I think I left it on the coffee table or the couch. Definitely somewhere in the living room."

He leaves the kitchen, then comes back and sets the tablet on the table. "I'm going to review the recordings and reports, is that okay? At least until you finish breakfast?"

"Of course!"

He leaves again, and you hear the front door open and close. A minute later, you hear the door again, and Bucky returns to the kitchen with a medium-sized gym bag. He takes out a laptop and begins to set up a little electronic station at your kitchen table. You keep glancing back to him as he sets up while keeping your eyes on the food cooking on the stove.

"HELEN, security access."

"Voice recognition required. State your full name."

"James Buchanan Barnes."

"State your security access code."

"Seven-five-sigma, twenty-two delta, three-eight-seven-four."

"Security access granted."

"So official," you murmur to yourself. Bucky looks at you out of the corner of his eye and smirks, then he focuses on the screens in from to him and becomes very quiet and intense. The only sounds you hear from that side of the kitchen are soft taps and clicks. He stays like that as you finish cooking breakfast. 

After you have everything plated, you bring the food over to the table and place it off to the side of Bucky's set up. He doesn't look up at you immediately, and you say softly, "Ready to eat?"

He looks up then, smiles, wraps his hands around your waist and pulls you into his lap. 

"Almost ready, but I need your help with a few things."

"Ok?"

Bucky then shows you several photos of people, all taken by the security cameras around your house. You recognize a few of them: mail people, neighbors from the other side of the complex, the plumber who's done work on your bathroom sink. There are a few people you don't recognize, and Bucky nods and tells HELEN to make a note of them.

"Are they..." you hesitate.

"Bad guys? Probably not. But exceptional surveillance requires a strong sense of suspicion."

"Is that all?"

"That's all. Ready to eat?"

You try to get off his lap, but Bucky's arms keep you in place. "Want you right here, sweetheart. That okay?"

You nod shyly, then get some food onto your fork and lift it to his mouth. He keeps his eyes locked on yours as he takes a bite. His eyes flutter shut after he's chewed twice, moaning at the flavor. You didn't think you'd be a girl who got hot over a guy enjoying her cooking, but you're certainly aware of that side of yourself now. You feed him another forkful then take a bite for yourself. All the while, Bucky smiles at you and lets his eyes study your face. There's a few times that you just can't help but press a soft kiss to his cheek. 

 

It takes about triple the usual time to eat everything on both your plates, but it's not like you're in a hurry.

 

◆ ◆ ◆

 

As you're cleaning the dishes, your mind is already brainstorming different things to do this weekend. You'd love to stay in bed having sex all day, but Bucky seems determined to let your body rest.

"What would you say to going to one of the state parks this afternoon? We should take advantage of this beautiful day. I can make us a picnic lunch, we can find a good spot, lay in the sun, read some books, make out, read a little more ... you know, have a nice afternoon."

"Yeah? Which park?"

"Well, there's this really nice one at a lake about an hour away, how does that sound?"

"I don't want to be around a lot of people, are there quiet spots?"

"Yeah! Though we won't be able to get to the super secluded spots due to my, uh, sex-related immobility..."

"Sweetheart! Why did you let us take you so far?" he chides.

"Because it was one of the best experiences of my life? Because I've never been cared for like that and didn't want it to end? Also because I genuinely didn't consider the repercussions _but_ I'd do it again in a heartbeat!"

He still gives you a look. 

"Honeybear," you whine, a little desperation in your tone, "a little physical soreness is nothing compared to how free and happy my heart feels, okay? It felt really good, baby, and every muscle twinge today is a perfect reminder." Then after a pause, "And hasn't Steve ever fucked you so hard you felt it the next day?"

"It's not that, it's the fact that we have to be careful with you, sweetheart. You don't have a ridiculously fast recovery time."

"You both were nothing but careful with me last night. Please, Bucky. Don't beat yourself up for making me feel amazing." 

He stares you down for a moment, then his gaze shifts to flirtation. "I'm glad that I helped make you feel so good, kitten." He barely enunciates the Ts when he says "kitten."

"Where did that nickname come from?"

He smirks, "I couldn't stop thinking about it - still can't - when you licked yourself off of Steve's face. Almost came right then."

You press up against him and wrap your arms around his torso so that your hands can slide up his back. "I'll remember that. And you know I love all the little names you both have given me." You squeeze him in a hug and sigh. "Now, I know we just ate, but what kind of sandwiches should I make for our picnic?"

 

◆ ◆ ◆

 

You head out about an hour later. He and Steve both arrived on motorcycles, but he wants to save the bike for a shorter trip so you take your car. There's a moment when you wonder if you'll be driving, but Bucky takes the keys out of your hand as soon as you lock your front door. You pull up the directions on your phone, and Bucky looks at the map once then doesn't need it for the rest of the drive. Once you get there, Bucky takes a look at the park map and decides that he wants to go to one of the super secluded spots after you point out the different options. You feel a little weird that he ignored your request from earlier, but as soon as you get to the trickiest spot on the path, he squats in front of you and tells you to climb on his back.

"Are you sure?" you ask. You've got your hands on his shoulders so you can hop up.

"Sweetheart, I've carried three times more for longer periods of time up the sides of a cliff," he says as he hefts you onto his back, holding you at your thighs.

"You and Steve just love to brag about what strong men you are," you purr into his ear.

"Not bragging if it's the truth," he growls back.  
"You know how much I like to hear it."

You push his hair - so soft, you can't wait to really get your hands in it once you're resting later - to one side of his neck, and place a soft kiss to his skin.

"Got all our stuff, sweetheart?"

You nod against his skin, and he continues down the trail, moving as though he isn't weighed down by another person. Once the path levels out again as it gets closer to the lakeside, you expect to Bucky put you back on your feet, instead he keeps walking, showing no intent of letting you go. 

 

He stops and bends to place you on your feet once you reach your destination. It's right on the beach of the lake in a small alcove that has been worn into the cliff edge by the passage of time. The rock wall extends up at least thirty feet on all sides except for the narrow path that brought you in. There's a little bit of grass near the rock and the whole area sparkles in the sunlight. When you both turn to look out to the lake, you can see small boats out in the distance, but no one near enough to overhear you or really even be able to see you; you almost feel more isolated here than you do in your own home. Bucky pulls your backpack of things from your shoulders and starts to unpack the blanket and bottles of water. You sit down on the blanket and reach for his metal hand, tugging to get him to sit down next to you. As soon as he sits, you reach for his face and kiss him. 

There's something so exceptionally romantic about kissing Bucky in this enclosed outdoor space that keeps you from stopping, keeps you pressing your mouth to his, seeking to draw out as many small moans and sighs from his throat and chest. He wraps his arm around you and lies you back onto the blanket. His hair, loose and wavy, creates a curtain around your head as he pulls back to look into your eyes. You surge forward to kiss him again and again, wrapping your arms around his neck and holding tight. Bucky's hand runs up and down your body, caressing you through your clothes and squeezing briefly in places, causing you to shiver. But before you can get too excited, he slows your kisses and pulls back again, smiling brilliantly before leaning down to kiss the tip of your nose. He lays down next to you and pulls you into his side and continues to caress your body with his fingers, enough to make you feel warm and safe, but not to make you feel uncomfortable with arousal. You close your eyes and rest your head on his chest, basking in both the warmth of the sun and his body against yours.

 

 

Later, after you've eaten lunch and made out a little more, you're seated upright on the blanket reading a book while Bucky lays stretched out on his back next to you, arms behind his head and face peaceful in the sun. 

"Natasha told me about her visit."

You freeze before speaking. "Did she tell you about what an emotional mess I am?"

"She said you threw out her sandwich before she'd even taken a bite. You must have been really mad at her!" he teases.

You know he's trying to lighten the situation, but just thinking about Natasha causes your anxiety to skyrocket. You still don't know how to feel about that visit from her, Sam, and Sharon.

 

Bucky must notice you tensing up. He nudges you and gently continues, "She said I didn't prepare her for how compassionately stubborn you are."

"That's an interesting way to phrase, 'sappy and stupid.'"

"You know she didn't say that."

"No, but she made it very clear that she does not think I should be seeing you or Steve. I had to work really hard to see it from her perspective. Sam and Sharon were really nice." You pause before continuing quieter, "It is very clear that Natasha cares very much for you both. I knew her heart was in the right place, even if she made me cry a few times in the process."

Very quietly, Bucky says, "It is careless of me and Steve to continue our relationship with you. Natasha knows this but doesn't have the same emotional investment. As one of my most trusted teammates and friends, it is her role to tell me the things I don't want to hear."

You turn sharply to face him. "She said it's not a matter of _if_ I will be kidnapped, but _when_." You hesitate, "Is she right?"

"She and I had a very heated discussion after she told me that part. That was manipulative. I agree that it was important for you to hear about the danger from someone other than us, but she went too far. No. It's not a matter of when."

"But--"

"--Yes, there is a chance but it is not absolute. She wanted to see how you would respond to certain danger."

"That's..." you pause, "I wish she hadn't done that."

"I know. She knows. You did not deserve to be interrogated. That entire visit was straight out of a SHIELD handbook."

"Why," you take a stiff breath, "why did she do that." You ask quietly, but your voice stays flat. You feel surprisingly hurt.  
Bucky reaches out for you and gently tugs you down to lay next to him. You hesitate at first. You feel confused and violated, and you don't fully understand why. He waits, then tugs again. You let him maneuver you as he lowers you to his side. 

When your face is pressed into his chest, you ask again. "Bucky, why did they want to interrogate me."

"They struggled to understand how you could have developed such an intense feeling of devotion to us after what amounts to a few evenings spent together."

"Have they met you guys?" You ask almost as a tease but Bucky doesn't respond right away. As much as you want to joke, this isn't funny, and they must have really wanted information from you. You push away from Bucky's chest to look at him straight on. "So wait, do they think that I have ulterior motives? What, that I want to get close to you and Steve and seduce you into telling me all your secrets? That's bullshit! You never talk to me about your work or your missions! You have always kept all of that quiet and I have always known not to ask!"

Bucky lets you shout, then quietly answers, "I know. I know you don't have hidden motives. I know how deep your heart goes, and how fucking lucky Steve and I are to get a little piece of it. They didn't. And what they did is unacceptable, but unfortunately, it's also a part of their job."

You relax slightly in Bucky's arms, but your brain struggles to relax with you. You press your face into Bucky's chest again and take a few deep breaths. "So. Do they believe me now?"

"They don't know what to think of you. Natasha especially."

"Haven't they ever met a nice, simple girl?"

Bucky jostles you slightly and whispers in your ear, "If this proves anything, it is that you are far from simple. I wish you wouldn't call yourself that, it sounds like you are putting yourself down."

"I--" you start, but don't what you were going to say anyway. You lay quietly for a little while longer, but a question sits like a boulder in your mind, unavoidable and too heavy to ignore.

"Bucky, do you think I'm falling too fast for you and Steve?" you whisper, uneasy of his answer.

Bucky doesn't respond immediately, and you feel your heart plunge into your stomach.

 

He takes a deep breath. "You told me from the beginning that your heart falls fast and commits quickly. I think Steve and I underestimated just how quickly you meant, but I also don't think you should feel like that is a fault of yours to fix."

You aren't sure what you expected his answer to be, but you realize you wanted an answer to a question you didn't ask (and that you probably shouldn't). So you ask a different question with a similar weight.

"Do you want to stop seeing me?"

He pulls back from you and looks genuinely upset by your question. "No! That isn't... I wasn't trying to..." He never stutters around you. 

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you upset."

"Well I started it by bringing up Natasha's visit."

"I mean, I hoped we would talk about it because it was ... um, weird."

"I know, sweetheart. Most girlfriends don't get interrogated by their boyfriends' international espionage coworkers."

That makes you laugh a little, and Bucky kisses your forehead. 

 

You lay together silently for a while longer before Bucky speaks again, his tone unusually tentative. "I'm going to tell you something that will be really hard to hear, but just know that it isn't something that I ever want to happen."

You stiffen in his arms, but nod against his chest.

"There may come a time when it will be too dangerous for us to stay together. Where your safety and life are genuinely more important than our relationship. It is unlikely, but still a possibility. If that happens, you need to know that Steve and I are making that choice because we care about you and absolutely do not want for you to suffer - or worse - due to our work as Avengers."

Your arms are wrapped around his chest, and you squeeze him tightly.

Bucky whispers your name. "I can't let anything happen to you. The idea of you suffering because of me is unbearable, and if ending our relationship is necessary to keep you safe, then the decision will be very clear."

You squeeze him again, and shake your head against his chest.

"Can you look at me, sweetheart?"

You hesitantly pull back and look up into his eyes. You don't spend enough time admiring their crisp grey color, or the little crinkles at the corners, visible even when his face is serious, like right now.

"Your safety is more important than my happiness."

"Bucky," you whimper.

He continues, cutting you off, "But right now, you are safest with me, and I want to hold on to that for as long as I can, okay?"

You nod again, worried that you're about to start crying for the umpteenth time in the past 24-hours. Bucky gently grabs your chin and tilts your face up to his.

"Can I kiss you, sweetheart?"

"Please," you whisper.

You close your eyes and barely feel the touch of his lips. He gently holds your face with his flesh hand while cradling you against his body with his metal arm. He slowly starts to kiss you more as his thumb strokes across your cheek. His mouth stays gentle and tender against yours until you let a tiny whimper escape your throat, then he presses you closer to his body, takes a deep breath through his nose, and pulls your bottom lip between his. You feel his conviction in his kisses, his reassurance, his passion, all flowing from his lips to yours.

 

Bucky rolls onto his back and carries you with him, holding you against his chest as he continues to kiss you again and again. 

"I don't want to let you go, sweetheart," he whispers against your lips, "Okay?"

You nod. "Okay." 

You know he doesn't mean physically.

 

◆ ◆ ◆

 

You both are quiet on the drive home, contently listening to some instrumental music. You have your hand in Bucky's hair, gently scratching and running your fingers through his soft strands. He's got his metal hand on the wheel and the other resting on your inner thigh.

Without any prelude, he asks, "Hey, can we have a really cheesy date night tonight?"

You laugh, "Sure, how cheesy are we talking? A movie in the theater where you yawn and stretch to put your arm around my shoulders, or a State Fair where you win me all the prizes at the carnival games?"

"Closer to the second - are there any good mini-golf places 'round here?"

"A few! And since you want cheesy, I'm guessing we should go to the one with the animatronic dinosaurs versus the fancy one with a cocktail bar at every third hole."

"Good. We're on the same page," he smiles.

 

By the time you get home, the sun has started to set and it is significantly chillier than it was all afternoon laying in the sun. After you put the picnic dishes and supplies in the kitchen to be washed later, you and Bucky go back to your bedroom to change. You put on a pair of jeans that you know will make your legs look good and a oversized cable-knit sweater. Bucky wears a pair of jeans with a white t-shirt. You're about to comment that he'll be too cold when he pulls out an honest-to-god leather jacket from his bag, and you feel your heartbeat pick up. Bucky lifts his eyes to see you staring at him and winks, causing you to blush and turn around to walk back out of the room.

"Glad you're dressed warm, sweetheart, because we're takin' my bike," he calls out.

 

You find it appropriate that this cheesy date includes your giddy feelings at the opportunity ride with him on the motorcycle. Bucky gives you a very sturdy and safe-looking helmet; you're glad your hair is casually tousled so that it will still look cute post-helmet.

"Have you ever ridden on a bike before?"

"It's been a while, so I wouldn't mind a safety refresher."

"Alright, we'll stay off the highways then."

"You mean I get to keep my arms around you for longer? Perfect."

Bucky laughs and then walks you through riding basics.

 

Bucky finishes explaining, then he helps you onto the bike first and steps back, eyeing you and biting his lip. "Baby, can I get a picture of you?"

"On the bike?"

"Yeah, I'm gonna send it to Steve too."

He takes another few steps back and aims his phone camera at you. You consider doing some sort of cheeky pose, but decide just to smile as cheerfully as you feel. Bucky keeps aiming his phone at you, and your smile starts to slip.

"Haven't you got enough?"

He smirks, "It's video now."

"Bucky!" you shout. "You're such a jerk, I must look like a dope holding that smile."

You get off the bike but he's still holding the phone at you. You look directly at the camera as you approach and say, "Hi Steve," and make a little kissy face. Bucky laughs and puts the camera down, right when you get to him and wrap your arms around his waist.

"Always gotta be causing trouble, huh?"

"I couldn't believe how long you could hold such a stunning smile."

"Oh you," you chide, giving his chest a little smack. Your phone buzzes and a quick glance shows you a text from Bucky - a group chat between the three of you - that says _WISH YOU WERE HERE_. When you look back up, Bucky smiles and tells you, "We probably won't receive a response tonight depending on his mission, but he'll like seeing you when he's done." He dips his face into your neck, kiss you gently and whispers in your ear, "Ready to ride, sweetheart?"

 

You savor the opportunity to press your body against Bucky's back as he drives you through the city. Your arms wrap around him tightly and your hands rest on the flat plane of his abdomen. You understand very clearly why motorcycle riding can be so erotic; the vibrations from the engine are practically massaging the entire lower half of your body. Considering how sore you still are, it feels oddly nice. Whenever you stop at a red light, Bucky rests his hand on your leg, rubbing gently up and down, only letting go to drive the bike again when the light turns green.

 

Once you arrive at the mini-golf park, Bucky laughs at the giant T-Rex statue roaring at the entrance. You grab his hand after removing your helmet and say, "What, did you think I would joke about the dinosaurs?"

"How silly of me to assume you were exaggerating."

 

With your putter and neon golf ball in hand, you start making your way through the course and find out very quickly that neither you nor Bucky are good at putt-putt. 

"Wow, I would have thought you'd be better at this. Aren't you one of the world's greatest snipers? Where's all that targeting experience?" you tease.

Bucky grumbles, "Yeah, with a long-range rifle, not this ten-dollar metal stick," he says, shaking his putter in front of him like the vibrations will suddenly cause him to be better. He exhales loudly and dramatically. "Man, I'm glad Steve isn't here. All that shield-slinging has really boosted his ability to apply geometry. He would be strutting around quotin' Archimedes the whole time, and then he would be _insufferable_ when he won."

You laugh, "Really?"

"Somehow he manages to be both a sore loser _and_ winner."

"So no game nights for the three of us?"

"Only if we're all on the same team."

 

At the fourth hole, you ask, "Are you sure you're not just pretending to be bad? Like, to make me feel better?"

"I'm not sure how that would be better, but I also wish that were true."

 

At the sixth hole, one with lots of annoying rocks and bends, you get out your phone to record Bucky's miserable attempt to knock the ball in. He takes six strokes to finally finish, and you have a video of the whole thing. After his fourth stroke, you start laughing and whispering, "Steve. Steve, he is so bad at this!" all while Bucky swears in the background.

He sees you with your phone raised. "I thought I swore you to secrecy?" he says incredulously.

"You swear me to secrecy about a lot of things, honeybear," you laugh. Bucky starts to approach, slowly strutting towards you with a look that makes you feel like prey. You know he'll try to take your phone, so you quickly stop recording and step back. 

"Bucky! Stop looking at me like you're hunting me! You're too sexy to be intimidating," you tease while hastily tapping on your phone to send Steve the video. The group chat is still at the top of your messages, so it's sent to you all. As soon as it's sent, Bucky gets close enough to swoop you into his arms, and you let out an awkward squawk as his arms squeeze around your middle. 

He whispers in your ear, "You think you're so sneaky, getting that video... he's going to be terrible with that evidence, you know that, right?"

You giggle and use your hands to cradle his face, "Oh my poor baby, can't handle a little teasing, huh? Want to film my attempt at the next hole? That way we're both equally humiliated in front of Mr. Geometry."

He laughs, "Yeah, he'll love to see as many videos of you as possible anyway."

 

You put on a big show of analyzing the hole and wiggling into your stance while Bucky laughs behind you, recording the whole thing. You turn back to him (and the camera) and smile big with a wink, then settle back to make the shot. You got lucky with this hole; it has less obstacles in the way, but it has a few more hills. You hit the ball and watch as, against all logic, it meanders its way right into the hole. As it approaches, you hear Bucky groan, "Oh no fucking way," and as soon as it goes in, you shout and jump up and down, then spin towards Bucky and the camera. You see Bucky mumble something and then turn his phone down.

"I know that was complete luck," you say, laughing.

He laughs too and pulls you close to him with his metal arm. You look up to his face, quickly look around to see if there is anyone nearby (there isn't), and kiss him. You press against him, the entire front of your body touching his while your mouth opens for him, breaking every rule you have about PDA in less than two seconds. Both his arms come around you, he groans as you push your hand into his hair at his nape and gently grab. 

You pull back when you start to really get aroused. You feel a little better about it when you see how disheveled Bucky looks too.

"Mmm, babydoll," he purrs, "What was that for?"

"You're already going to get a ton of shit from Steve, so I didn't want to be a sore winner and add to it. Plus, you are just so kissable," you say, tugging him closer by the lapels of his jacket. 

Bucky dips to kiss you again, softly and close-mouthed, then says, "We'll continue that later. For now, let's finish this stupid game."

"You picked it!" you say through giggles.

"Ugh, don't remind me."

 

There aren't anymore hole-in-ones, but Bucky wins by three strokes. He seems much more focused after your lucky shot.

"Do you feel better now that you've won?" you say, slipping your arm around his as you walk back to his motorcycle.

"I know it is terrible of me to say, but yes." He pulls his arm from yours only to wrap it around you, bringing you right up against his side.

"Oh my god, you _are_ terrible. You mean to tell me that Steve is worse than this?"

"If he won, he would have the most obnoxious smirk on his face and bounce in his step for the rest of the night."

"And if he lost?" you say as you get to the bike; Bucky hands you the helmet and helps you onto the seat. 

"He would spend the next two hours complaining about how every aspect of the game was rigged against him."

 

Your laughter continues after you've exited the parking lot and turn onto the street.

 

◆ ◆ ◆

 

You stop at a pizza place for dinner, ordering by-the-slice and sharing bites of each other's pizza. You feel so happy.

"I'm so glad you wanted to do a cheesy date night." You say between sips of soda once you've finished eating.

"You feelin' good, sweetheart?"

"So good, honeybear. Thank you for takin' me out on this date."

He leans forward and kisses your cheek, then whispers in your ear, "I really like 'honeybear.'"

You giggle and pull back to press your lips briefly to his. "Good."

 

◆ ◆ ◆

 

After dinner, it's too late to stay out for anything other than drink at a bar, but still too early for bed. You both change into your sleep clothes anyway, and after washing your face and brushing your teeth, you lay with your head in Bucky's lap on the couch while you watch one of the many superhero tv shows available on Netflix.

"You know what these shows always get wrong?" Bucky murmurs as he runs his hand through your hair. You shift to look up at him. 

"Time. Everything takes so much longer than these shows would lead you to believe."

"You mean you can't just appear where the danger is? Immediately after it's started?" you tease.

Bucky chuckles. "Exactly. You're only gonna be there for the action if you were following the criminals anyway, or if the fight is really nasty and goes on a while."

"Well, I'm sorry that _The Adventures of Dark Shadow_ aren't accurate enough for you."

 

Bucky spends the remainder of the episode pointing out all of the inaccuracies, to the point where you poke his pec and say, "It's fiction!" 

"It's lazy writing."

"Ok, no more superhero shows for you."

 

After both the episode and Bucky's nit-picking have finished, you make your way to your bedroom. You aren't as sore as you were earlier in the morning, and though the day has not been lacking in sensuality, you are also hoping for some more time spent naked with Bucky tonight. The thought of waking up sore and glowing from a good orgasm again sounds just about perfect. As you strip down to a sleep shirt and panties, Bucky gets in bed wearing just his briefs, laying on his back and bending his metal arm behind his head. He motions for you to join him, and you curl into his side, laying your head on his chest and wrapping your leg over his.

"Bucky?"

"Yeah?"

"Can we go to brunch tomorrow morning instead of having breakfast at home?"

"Sure. You don't gotta cook for me all weekend, you know that right," he murmurs into your hair while stroking your back.

"I know," you say, even though you had genuinely wanted to cook every meal for him.

He gives you a small squeeze, "Any particular reason you want to go?"

"No," you say too quickly.

"Uh huh. Tell me, kitten."

"Well," and god, you're going to sound so ridiculous, "I go to breakfast or brunch sometimes with friends, sometimes by myself, and there are always these couples."

Bucky's fingers continue caressing up and down, almost distracting you from your train of thought.

"And... they look so smug. They're obnoxiously projecting that 'I got fucked in the last twelve hours and I'm still glowing' look and I don't mean to be so jealous, but it's really gotten annoying over the years!" Your tone has an edge of hysteria as you finish, and Bucky starts to chuckle. You take a breath and then speak quietly into his chest, "But now I can show up to brunch somewhere with that glow and I want to."

Bucky rolls you over and moves his hand from your back to your thigh, continuing to brush against your skin. "So that's _two_ requests," he smirks, looking down at you.

"Oh, um," you say, turning your face away as you feel your cheeks heat. You didn't mean to outright ask for sex.

"Sweetheart, look at me."

You look, feeling sheepish. Bucky gazes back at you with that charming smile you've come to love so much.

"You tellin' me you want to show up to brunch with an 'I had sex' look without the having sex part?"

"Brunch with you is the important part," you say unconvincingly.

"I disagree," he says before bending down until his lips hover just over yours. "I'm definitely gonna give you that glow." Your eyes flutter shut as you wait for him to close the distance, but he never does. When you open your eyes again, you see him still looking at you, now with a little smirk. "But in the morning," he belatedly finishes.

You whine, "Why?"

"Gotta give your body all the time it needs to recover."

"My body feels fine," you say petulantly.

"Oh yeah? Get outta bed right now without wincing."

You literally pout your lip. 

Bucky leans forward to kiss you. "You're not going to change my mind, not even with that cute little face. Besides," he whispers against your lips, "if we wait 'til the morning, your beautiful glow will be extra bright."

Your pause is long enough that Bucky grins, knowing that he's going to get his way. He rubs his nose in your hair near your temple, breathing warmly against your skin. His hand on your thigh has stayed gentle and chaste.

"Yeah, babygirl. I'll take extra good care of you in the morning, don't you worry."

 

Bucky turns you so that you're spooned into his chest and wraps his arms around you. You savor the way you curve into him from your shoulders down to the backs of your knees, but there's a weird part of you that feels denied in a way that your body is too familiar; a promise made that is broken in the morning light. You try to focus on the fact that Bucky isn't the same as all the other men you've been with. He hasn't yet broken a promise, and you don't think he's about to start now. As you're attempting to use his physicality as evidence to help your mind reject the disappointment, you start to notice how Bucky isn't really relaxing either. Bucky shifts around you enough that it pulls you out of your weird mental funk.

"Sweetheart," Bucky whispers into your hair, "I need to tell you something serious."

 

You tense up. The two of you have already had a very serious conversation today, and you didn't know you were due for another so soon.

Bucky obviously feels the change in your body, then shushes you softly and uses his hand to rub your belly. "Nothing as bad as what you're probably thinking. It's unlikely, but I want to make sure you know anyway."

"Okay."

"If you wake up in the night and I'm having a nightmare, don't touch me. I haven't had one for a few months, but I can never really tell when I will, and the last thing I'd want is to hurt you when I'm still asleep."

You turn around in his arms. "Baby," you start, but you aren't sure what to say. You feel ashamed for all of the dumb things that had been running through your brain just moments ago while Bucky was struggling with this right next to you.

"I don't want you to worry, I just want to make sure you know since I'm staying the night."

"Okay. Thank you for telling me," you say, reaching enough to give his bicep a light squeeze, "because I know I would have tried to touch you. If it happens, can I," you hesitate, "can I talk to you? Or turn on the light?"

"Yeah, that would be fine. But really, don't stress over it. I don't think it will happen."

"Why didn't you tell me last night? I guess that would have ruined the mood."

"Steve was here, he would have known what to do."

"Oh, yeah, of course," you realize, and feel a little dumb for not thinking of that.

 

You settle against his side and the two of you lay together. You stroke your thumb over his pec where your hand rests on his chest. Bucky still feels tense underneath you, and it only increases your guilt for wanting sex more than the opportunity to just hold him.

"You," Bucky starts, and he hesitates more than you've ever heard him before. He continues, much quieter, "you know I would never want to hurt you, right?"

You freeze in his arms, trying to figure out the emotion in his voice. You realize, incredulously, that it is fear. As soon as you do, you push yourself upright and feel a staggering amount of righteous justice coursing through you.

"James Buchanan Barnes, you listen to me. I have never felt safer than I have with you, and what you've just told me does _nothing_ to change that. Nothing! I know you would _never_ hurt me, and the fact that you just told me this proves it!"

"Shh, babygirl, you'll wake up your neighbors," Bucky says, a little laughter in his voice.

"They heard worse last night. And don't try to distract me," you playfully say, just short of shouting. You drop your voice to a whisper, "You are so fiercely loyal and protective of the people you care about, and I am so lucky to be included in that list. Darling, I--" You catch yourself before using the L-word, but it's a close call. "I think you're magnificent."

 

You keep yourself propped above him and don't look away from his intense stare. He still looks apprehensive, but less than before.

"How can you be so sure?" he whispers.

You waiver, but not in doubt. You keep your eyes on him so that he knows you are speaking honestly. "You protect me in ways beyond the physical. You let me cry as many times as I need to. You make me feel like I am worthy of attention. When I say that I feel safe with you, I don't just mean because of your muscles." You run your hand up his bicep, feeling the taut skin over hard muscle. "Though they are very nice."

You take a moment to breathe, then voice a uneasy thought. "I bet that if you didn't feel comfortable here, with me, you wouldn't stay the night. You wouldn't want to risk it."

He hesitates, then grimaces as he says, "You're right, I wouldn't."

It's weird, but your heart soars from that admission. "And yet you're here." You lean down, brushing your lips against his. "Because we both know that you would never hurt me, and you would never want anything or anyone else to hurt me."

"But this is about my subconscious!"

"My subconscious thinks that I'm a worthless ugly slob who doesn't belong with you. Are you saying that that part of me is correct?"

Bucky narrows his eyes at you. You feel victorious and can't help the smile your mouth forms. 

Bucky groans and runs his metal hand over his face. "God, you've got the same look that Steve gets when he knows he won the argument."

"You really have a type, don't you?"

Bucky snorts.

You kiss him again, then pull back to look him in the eyes. "Darling, we've all got that dark part of our mind that tells us of every way we think we are unworthy. I know yours is a whole other level of dark, but that doesn't mean that _you_ are dark. Okay?"

He doesn't agree out loud, instead he leans forward to kiss you again. 

You acquiesce and place three more light kisses on his lips, then whisper, "And if I have to remind you every now and then of what a good man you are and how safe I feel with you, I will."

He pulls back, finally looking like he's starting to relax. "You really are somethin'." 

You smile and kiss him once more. He holds you against his lips with his hand behind your head, then lets go and shifts you so your back is against his chest again, with one arm under your pillow where your head rests and his metal arm over your waist. You sigh in comfort. You don't think you will ever tire of feeling so small and delicate surrounded by his thick body. 

Bucky gives you a little squeeze, then kisses the back of your neck. "Good night, sweetheart."

You raise his metal hand to your lips and gently place a kiss on the back of it. "Goodnight, darling."

 

 

 

◆ ◆ ◆

 

 

 

You wake up in Bucky's arms as if you haven't left them all night and feel his lips running along your neck, alternating between kissing your skin and just dragging his open mouth across it. 

"To think that I had hoped to wake you with my lips on your cock," you murmur. 

"Your good intentions have been noted, but I have other ideas," he says as his slips his metal hand under your shirt, running it up your belly to your breasts. You whine and push your body back into him. You can tell how thick he already is, but when he pulls away, you whine again, desperate to feel him. 

"Mmm, babydoll," he hums against your skin, "I'm just getting started. Lay back for me." 

You sigh and turn over. He hovers above you and grins, then moves down your body, pushing up your shirt again so that your belly is exposed to the chilly room. He leans down and starts to kiss your skin with an open-mouth then drags his lips on your torso, pushing your shirt up until it relents and releases your breasts, and they bounce back and forth in freedom. 

Bucky's groan resonates deep in his chest, and he moves to lick from the bottom curve of your breast up to where your tender skin peaks, circling his tongue around your areola before sucking your whole nipple into his mouth. He releases you with a quiet _Pop!_

"God, these tits. I thought I had it good with Steve but now," and he sucks your nipple again, pulling a little harder and making you thrust your pelvis into nothing but air. He breaks away from your skin again. "I'll be satisfied forever."

"I think I'll let you do this forever," you whisper.

You can feel him smirk against your skin, but he doesn't respond, instead he keeps kissing and sucking, drawing more moans and whimpers from you. You move your hands to his hair, running your fingers through the still-silky strands. He pulls back from your breast and breathes gently on the wet skin, then looks up through his lashes and flashes a scheming grin.

"That feels good baby, but I want you to keep your hands up above your head instead. Take off your shirt while you're at it."

You do as he asks but not without a little verbal protest, "But I wanna touch you, honeybear."

"I don't want you to focus on anything but you right now," he says, then puts his mouth back on your nipple and sucks. Your hands grasp your pillow and squeeze.

As wild as he is already making you feel, he hasn't touched you with anything but his mouth. You keep thrusting into the air.

"Please let me touch you, darling, please please please," you plead.

"Fuck, kitten, you know I can't deny you when you ask so sweetly like that," he says and then reaches up to tenderly bite your neck.

"Can I? Please can I touch you, I want to feel your hair and your neck and your shoulders and," you're cut off when Bucky moves quickly from your neck to your mouth. He kisses you and lets his tongue caress your lips.

When his hand finally slides down your stomach, into your panties and right to your pussy, you already feel on edge, pushed even further when he slowly slips his finger between your folds, moving through your wetness. When his finger starts to trace little circles through your cunt, your legs shiver.

He breaks away from your lips to whisper, "Yeah, babygirl, you feel good, don't you? My sweet babydoll with the most perfect tits and pussy, all beggin' for my touch."

You nod frantically and seek out his lips again. You are thrusting and trying to get him to move his fingers harder and faster, but he stays soft. You still want to touch him, so you slowly move one of your hands onto his shoulder, and then when he doesn't protest, around his neck. 

"You disobeyin' my orders? You're as bad as Steve," he says, clearly playful and teasing.

"Can't keep my hands off my big strong man and his big strong muscles."

"You know how I get Steve to do what I say?"

"How? Tell me."

Bucky pulls away from you and smiles, then moves down your body, and the way his face transforms from charming to sinful makes you moan his name. He removes his hand from your pussy and lifts it to his mouth to lick.

"I'm gonna show you instead," he says as he pulls off your panties and pushes your legs open with his hands, smearing all sorts of wetness onto your leg. He moves up your body one last time, but not to kiss you, instead he keeps his smile on his face and grabs two of the pillows from the other side of the bed. He goes back to sit between your knees and lifts you with his metal hand to slide them under you, then lays down on his stomach between your legs.

"Okay, sweetheart?"

You nod very quickly, looking down at him from over your breasts. You prop yourself up with your arms, but Bucky reaches up to your chest and pushes you back down. "You stay comfy, babygirl, I'll take care of you."

"You always do, darling."

He smiles, almost shyly, before returning his focus to your sex. He uses his shoulders to push your legs open a little further, then slips his hand to part your folds again. You are left exposed to the air only for a brief moment before he groans and pushes his face right into your cunt and opens his mouth to cover as much of you as he can before using his tongue to lick you over. 

"Bucky!" you gasp. He moans with his mouth still on you and you cry out again. He starts to lick, taking his tongue up from your entrance, pressing it against your clit anddragging it back down, dipping into you, just a little, then starting the dance all over again. When your cries of his name start to get faster in frequency and higher in pitch, he puts all of his focus on your clit while his fingers tease your entrance. Two of his fingers push into you completely and curve against the sides of your walls as they drag back out, and you whine louder, more frantically, so that when Bucky uses his whole mouth to suck on your clit, you come with a long wail. Bucky doesn't stop sucking or moving his fingers even as your legs start to shake again. He moans and licks up your pussy, lightly dragging the tip of his tongue over your lips. He finally starts to back off and withdraw his attention once your moans become whines, and your legs jerk from oversensitivity. 

You closed your eyes as soon as he told you to lean back and feel, and you keep them closed as your chest moves up and down with quick and deep breaths. You feel Bucky's lips move from your pussy up your pelvis to your belly then your sternum before pausing at your breasts. He licks around the underside again and over the top but stays away from your nipple. You shiver at how the cool wetness of his spit feels as it evaporates into the room. You chant Bucky's name softly, still reeling from your orgasm. You feel his hands slide up your thighs to the sides of your torso, caressing back and forth over your ribs and tummy. Bucky lets you come back to reality slowly and at your own pace while his gentle touch keeps you grounded and aware of his presence.

"Bucky?" you whisper.

"Yeah, babygirl?"

"I want my mouth on your cock."

"Oh yeah?" he teases.

"Yeah, honeybear, I've earned it, I want it."

"What if I told you I had other plans for my cock?" he asks before dipping down to suck your nipple again. 

"You don't want my mouth on you?" you whine. Maybe you'd feel rejected under other circumstances, but it's hard to feel anything but warm and fuzzy after that orgasm.

"Oh, I definitely want your mouth on me, I just want it on mine while my cock slides into you again, babydoll."

You sigh, knowing just how perfect his cock feels inside you and missing it so much already even though it's only been a little more than 24 hours since you first had him.

"I guess I can be persuaded," you tease.

"Oh yeah?" he teases right back, moving so that he holds himself over you, mouth just above yours, lower body between your legs again. You can feel his hard cock right in the crux between your cunt and thigh. He dips his face to kiss your cheek then moves his mouth to touch yours. He tastes like you and morning breath and himself, and it is all so overwhelming and arousing. 

You reach down between your bodies to hold his cock and run your thumb over the head, spreading his precum all over it. You then, very gently, guide him so that the head touches your entrance. 

"Please," you whisper.

He dips to kiss you again and glides into you in one steady movement. You exhale in relief, and take his bottom lip between yours to suck.

 

Bucky's pace is rhythmic and strong, and he presses his pelvis against you each time he pushes in. Your whole body still thrums, still recovering from your orgasm, but Bucky is nothing but determined to make you come again. He holds himself over you with one arm while his metal hand slides up your body to tease your nipples and gently pinch them. It doesn't take long for your cries to get higher and shorter. Bucky smiles and dips his face to kiss your cheek and breathe against your skin. His groans are soft, but you can still hear them with his mouth so close to your ear. He starts to whisper your name between moans, along with " _Feel so good_ " and " _so hot, babydoll you're so hot_." He kisses your cheek again then moves his mouth to take your earlobe between his lips and suck. You feel yourself on the edge right when he whispers, "Come, sweetheart, come again for me."

You softly whine and feel your body crest in pleasure as Bucky moves his face to kiss you again, swallowing your sounds with his mouth. You pulse around him and wrap your arms around his neck. While you both still move together, you start to mindlessly beg him to come on your chest, remembering how much you liked having him all over you. He enthusiastically agrees and laughs against your lips. When his thrusts get faster and his eyes start to flutter shut, he abruptly pulls out of you, props himself up on his metal arm while as his other hand quickly jerks his cock until he shoots onto your belly and breasts. You gasp and moan, then drag your hands off his shoulders, push your fingers into his cum and bring them to your mouth while keeping your eyes locked with his. You lick him off each finger individually while he breathes roughly over you, and Bucky's hooded gaze starts to jump between your lips and your eyes. 

Before you have a chance to clean all of him off of your chest, he uses the hand that had been on his cock to move your hand from your lips, then flops down on top of you and kisses you with an open mouth. You smile into his lips and kiss back, sighing with happiness as he pulls back just a little. He rubs his nose against yours gently then quietly asks, "Shower?"

 

◆ ◆ ◆

 

Your glow at brunch is so bright that Bucky teases you the whole time about how obvious you are. It only grows brighter when you leave and he bends down to your ear to whisper, "Your breakfasts are better."

 

◆ ◆ ◆

 

You hated having to part with Bucky that afternoon for your appointment, and you whispered against his lips as you said goodbye that you would text him once you were on your way home. As you backed away to your car, you also told him that it sometimes runs over by fifteen minutes or so, but he could expect to hear from you by 3:30 pm. (He shouted from his motorcycle for you to stop worrying, he'd be able to keep himself plenty busy by " _making the oversized gym rats feel inadequate and weak."_ ) 

It's now an hour and fifteen minutes after you thought you would be done, and your appointment has finally finished. You wanted to be rude at about forty-five minutes over and just say, "OK BYE I HAVE A HANDSOME MAN WAITING FOR ME" but these are good clients and you don't want to ruin your relationship with them. You turn your phone back on to one text from Bucky, _Done yet?_ that was sent at 3:52 pm. You call him. After two rings, he picks up.

"Hey sweetheart, you done?"

"I'm so sorry! They kept asking more questions and I couldn't tell them no! I didn't mean to keep you waiting so long!"

"Baby, don't worry about it. You should see how relieved all these dudebros look now that I'm packing up. I'll see you back at your place, okay?"

"Ok, I'll be there in fifteen minutes!"

"Don't speed home," he says sharply. "You are not allowed to get into a car accident."

"I won't, I promise. See you soon, Bucky."

 

Thirteen minutes later when you're pulling into your parking space, you see Bucky sitting in one of the chairs you keep on the porch. He's stretched out with his arms behind his head and legs extended in front of him, crossed at the ankle. Once he sees you, he stands up. You jump out of your car, completely forgetting your bag in the passenger seat to run up to him and hug him tightly.

"Hey babygirl," he says, kissing the crown of your head.

"I'm so sorry it ran over, I didn't mean for it to," you apologize.

Bucky pulls you away from him slightly to look at your face. "Sweetheart, it's not a big deal."

You push your face back into his chest, realizing how upset you are. Not at him, but at the loss of time. You've never been very good at handling big changes to your schedule, and you tend to overreact in these situations. Bucky just holds you, rubbing your back and continuing to kiss your head. 

"Sweetheart, what's wrong?"

You take a deep breath before speaking quietly into his shirt. "We have less than a day left together and I had to spend even longer away from you and I'll probably see those clients more that I will see you in the next few months and I had plans for what we'd do tonight and now we have _less_ time to do them..."

Bucky squeezes you tighter, pressing you from thigh to forehead against his body. You rub your face in his chest again, effectively cutting off your rambling. 

"Let's go inside, babygirl," he whispers, letting you go slightly. He takes your keys from your hand to unlock the door and usher you in. He sits on the couch and pulls you into his lap, gently pressing your head onto his shoulder. 

"I'm sorry I'm acting so stupid. I'm wasting more time by being a mess--"

Bucky shushes you. "It probably has something to do with how irregular your boyfriends' schedules are, and the fact that you haven't seen or heard from them for over three months."

"Maybe."

"Well those schmucks are going to pull their heads out of their asses and make a better effort at communicating with you while they're gone."

"Hey, those are my boyfriends, don't talk badly about them," you tease.

"They earned it."

You hesitate before continuing. "I would like to hear from you guys more often. I really missed you. It was hard to go so long without knowing anything."

"You will hear from us. I promise. And our time right now hasn't been ruined, okay? We still have all of tonight and tomorrow morning before you go to work."

"I'm gonna go in late."

"You sure?"

"Yeah, I haven't taken time off for a month, I can have a morning off."

"That'll be nice, we can sleep in a little."

Bucky continues to hold you, rubbing his hand along your back and kissing your forehead and cheeks. "That was an outlier, it won't always be like that, okay?"

"Okay," you reply.

"If it does happen again, we'll let you know, and I'll get Tony to give HELEN access to our status so you can check in on how we're doing anytime you want, even if you can't talk to us directly, okay?"

"Okay. I'm sorry I'm so weird and emotional,"

"You aren't. You aren't too emotional, you're the perfect amount of weird, and you deserve to hear from your boyfriends and know how we're doing."

 

You squeeze him and kiss his cheek before returning your head to his shoulder, pressing your nose against his neck. "How'd you get to be so sensitive and sweet?" you ask. You mean it as a joke, but Bucky stiffens a little in your arms.

"Uh, a lot of therapy."

You look back at him, all of the teasing gone from your face. "Oh. That makes sense."

He takes a deep breath. "When Steve found me again, I was angry and really mixed up. I lashed out with violence and probably would have been locked away in a dark prison cell for the rest of my days if it hadn't been for Steve and Natasha defending me. I had been tortured out of every emotion except anger, because my abusers found it useful. So yeah, therapy. Meditation. And a lot of acceptance."

"That must have been so hard for you," you whisper, "to push through so many years of..." then you pause, not wanting to voice the horrors that he had experienced.

"Yeah. It was no picnic, that's for sure. But eventually I started to see some rewards from it all." He pulls you in close. "The first time Steve and I could be together again, like we had almost a century ago, it had been over two years since we were reunited. I had remembered that we were together before the war about six months after he found me. I think it tore him apart, thinking I didn't want him, but it was more that I had so much else running through my head constantly, so much anger and hatred that I couldn't imagine putting my hands on him in a loving way. He came to understand that too." He kisses your temple. "So to finally be with him again, both of us knowing how much we wanted the other, what we had been through and how much work we had both done to get there, that's something I'll never forget."

He pauses, then smirks. "And then we fucked like bunnies for the rest of the week. Even I was sore after it all."

"Bucky!" you laugh.

"I know," he chuckles in return, then takes a deep breath, releasing it slowly. "If I seem stable and happy now, it's because I've worked really hard to be that way."

"Bucky, I'm so proud of you. I'm so proud of your bravery to face all that. You deserve to be happy and to know that you are loved."

"I do, don't I?"

"Yes, you do," you say, pressing a light kiss to his cheek.

"Mmm," he sighs. "So, that's why I'll never run away from your tears. Or from the moments you need to tell me how you're feeling. I know how important it is. And I hope you know that I'll try to do the same."

You kiss him again, this time on the corner of his mouth. "I feel so lucky to be with you, Bucky. I want you to know that."

Bucky pulls back to look you in the eyes, a soft and tender gaze. "The feeling's mutual, babygirl."

 

He holds you for several more minutes, and you enjoy the comfort of his arms and the gentle strokes of his hands over your arms and back.

"So what were your big plans for tonight, sweetheart?" 

You blush, still a little embarrassed about how upset you were just moments ago. "Well, I wanted to cook you a really good dinner and then go out for dancing and drinks."

He hums. "So since our evening has been cut slightly short, how about we order delivery and stay in to watch a movie?"

"Can I still cook for you and we stay in to watch a movie?"

"Baby, I won't doubt your cooking skills if we order delivery."

"I know but, it makes me... feel good when you enjoy my food."

"But if we order delivery," he pauses to nuzzle your cheek, "I can spend that time kissin' on you instead of watchin' you at the stove." As if to prove his point, he starts a line of kisses from your jaw to your shoulder. 

You moan softly. "What-- what kind of delivery," you ask. 

You feel Bucky grin against your skin.

 

◆ ◆ ◆

 

You order Thai and watch a comedy, and your heart nearly explodes from feeling Bucky's quiet laughter vibrate through your back as you lay between his legs on the couch. You're also glad that it's a movie you've already seen, because Bucky's hands may have started chaste, just passing over your hair and playing with your hand, but towards the end their movements become sinful, revving you up without yet removing your clothes. 

Once the end credits start, Bucky dips his mouth next to your ear and purrs, "Wanna go to bed, sweetheart?"

"I'm not sleepy," you say, your voice rising at the end as Bucky's hand passes slowly over your breast.

"Mmm," his voice drops even deeper, "who said anything about sleepin'?"

 

Bucky pauses your foreplay in order to wash up and brush teeth, and while you aren't going to disagree with him over basic hygiene, you also know he's being a cheeky asshole. Once you're standing next to each other in your underwear and you've put on that little t-shirt that he likes so much, Bucky pulls you into his arms and down onto the bed. You both laugh as Bucky lays you on your side and spoons you from behind, your back pressed to his front with his metal arm wrapped under you. He starts to kiss your neck and shoulders and you're writhing against him, trying your best to touch him while also becoming distracted by the way his mouth lingers on your skin. 

"You know, when you're with a woman, you gotta pay attention," he murmurs next to your ear before gently biting your neck.

"Hmm?"

"Steve is so obvious when he's ready to go. Can't tell you how many times I've woken up with his dick rubbing somewhere on me. No subtlety, that guy."

You laugh, then purposefully push yourself back into him. You feel his cock against your ass, and he moans and thrusts forward.

"Hmm, no idea what you mean," you tease.

He chuckles lightly before taking your earlobe between his teeth, sucking with his lips and causing you to cry out with a small _ah!_

"Like I was saying," he continues as he rubs his hand up and down your belly, "gotta pay more attention when you're with a woman. Gotta listen," he whispers in your ear, and your breath unconsciously hitches from how deep and hushed his voice sounds. "Gotta look into her eyes, and you gotta feel." He pulls you into him a little more, causing you to sigh with pleasure. "Mmm, because once you know all the signs, a woman couldn't be more obvious."

His thrusts are gentle, slow, and steady against you. "However, my favorite part," he says, then his hand moves down from your belly, into your panties and all the way to your seam. His middle finger dips between your folds. "God, you get a lady going and she gets soaked." 

He starts to massage your pussy, moving his fingers through your wetness and pressing his hand against you. He rocks you into him a few times before pulling his hand out, and you whine at the withdrawal. He sits up on his knees next to you and rolls you to your back. 

"Lift up for me babygirl, lemme get these panties off ya, don't know why I had you keep them on in the first place," he says. Bucky drags your panties off your legs while you sit up a little to get your shirt off, and he takes another moment to remove his briefs. You lay back down and look at him while he admires your body. His cock juts out from his body, flushed and hard. You drag your eyes up his chest, biting your lip and squirming on the sheets. When you reach his face and you look into each other's eyes, he grins then returns to your side, turning you so that your back presses against him again. His hand slips back to your pussy as he presses your ass into his pelvis and his cock slides between your cheeks. The precum from his dick leaves a slick trail, and your whines become more high pitched and mindless.

"You're so wet, babygirl, so hot and wet and perfect," he says into your ear. You turn your head to try to kiss him, but he just smiles and kisses your cheek. 

"Bucky, please," you whisper.

"Tell me what you want, kitten."

"I thought you could read the signs," you reply with no small amount of sass.

He huffs a laugh, "Yeah, but hearing you say it is the cherry on top," as he dips his finger just past your entrance.

You can't wait any longer. "Please, Bucky, I want your cock," you whisper desperately, "please, please fuck me!"

"I think this calls for something a little more gentle than fuckin'," he says as he lifts your leg and wraps it over the top of his thigh. Your cunt opens so perfectly to let him slide right in, fueling your gasps and moans of his name.

"So wet and hot for me," he murmurs.

"All for you," you whimper.

"Mmm," he groans, pushing his nose into the hair behind your ear as he starts to slowly thrust, "my sweet babydoll."

You arch your back into him, trying to get as much of your body touching his, whimpering as his metal arm curls around your waist underneath you and his flesh hand runs all over your front. He uses his metal arm to hold you tighter as he turns onto his back so that you lay on top of him while he continues to penetrate you. Your legs splay open over his thighs, hips positioned so that his cock glides in perfectly. You use your feet to push and move with his body, and Bucky moans in approval. You hold his metal arm with one hand and grab his hip with the other while his flesh hand massages your breasts and his fingers pinch your nipples.

 

"Honeybear," you moan, feeling supercharged and tender everywhere he touches you. You turn your face towards Bucky's and he kisses your temple.

"Fuck, babygirl, I can't think clearly when you call me that," he says against your skin, pressing harder into you with a strong thrust. It makes you gasp.

"You're so good, you make me feel so, so good," you murmur. His dick pushes into you deeper as he breathes against your ear, and you hear the way his breath hitches too; you can hear how affected he is, just like you. The air is full of the sounds of your quickening breaths, your whimpers and moans, and the wet noises from where you are joined together. Bucky's metal hand stays on your belly, holding you in place on top of him while his other hand continues to move across your skin from your breasts to your cunt, and every place where his skin touches yours is a focal point of pleasure and heat. His thrusts are getting faster, creating a rhythm and beat with his soft grunts of exertion. Even though you can barely consider stringing a full sentence together, you have started to figure out just how much Bucky likes to run his mouth in bed. You hesitate only for a moment before you push past your insecurity and tell him how good he makes you feel.

"God, your cock is so perfect," you moan, "I love how it feels in me," you cry out as Bucky drives hard into you, "unh! Bucky! You're so thick, ah! so good, you make my pussy feel so good!" Bucky moves faster, rocking you against his body. Your breasts sway with the motion of his thrusts. You want more. 

"In me," you moan, "Come in me again, come in me honeybear!"

"I want-- ahh!" he cuts himself off with a soft but euphoric cry. As you feel him release inside you, you whine and push your hand into his hair. His thrusts keep a steady pace until they finally start to slow, and he breathes wetly against the side of your face. You quietly chant Bucky's name, still heightened in pleasure yourself and enjoying the feeling of him softening inside your channel.

 

"Shit, I didn't mean to come so soon," Bucky says, more to himself than to you as he pushes his nose into the hair behind your ear. "You feel so good, babydoll, fuck," he whispers.

"Mmm," you moan, "you feel good too."

Bucky stays inside you for another moment more before pulling out with a quiet squelch as he moves you both onto your sides again. You're trying not to shift around too much, but you still feel so intensely aroused and aren't sure how to ask Bucky to help you come or whether you'll be able to at all before he falls asleep. It feels too familiar, like all your other hook-ups in the past. Worst of all, you can't stop yourself from worrying that if you ask for too much, you'll scare him away and he won't want to do this again. 

Bucky places a soft kiss on your cheek that pulls you out of your head.

"How are you feelin', sweetheart," he asks softly.

"Really good, Bucky."

He stays quiet, breathing against your skin for a moment longer before rolling you to your back and leveraging himself over you.

"Wait, you didn't come?"

"Oh, no, I didn't."

"Well fuck, and I'm just laying here like some lazy bastard," he says with a grin as he slides his hand down your belly.

"Oh," you gasp, "I just... figured we were done?"

His hand pauses before any of his fingers reach their goal, "You don't want to come?"

"I mean, I do, but if you're done it's okay, I don't mind," you say unconvincingly.

"Why wouldn't I--" Bucky cuts himself off, then after another moment, his eyes widen in realization. "You said you hadn't come with another person before, is that because they never helped you finish?"

You blush and look away, "I-- I always take a long time and my partner would finish before me and after a while they just... stopped trying," you say, feeling ashamed for having to admit it to Bucky in this moment.

"And you thought," he pauses, looking at you incredulously as you peek at him out of the corner of your eye, "you thought _I_ wouldn't want to try?"

"I didn't want to annoy you about it," you say apologetically.

"But you want me to, you want to come," he says.

"Well, yes--"

 

Bucky's lips cut you off before you can finish. His fingers slip between your folds, sliding right into you as his palm presses against your clit. He is borderline rough as he drags his fingers in and out, and his voice is deep as he breaks away from your lips to speak into your ear.

"This isn't a chore for me, this is something I _want_ to do for you," he says.

You whimper, knowing that it was your insecurities that made you doubt him and wanting nothing more than to take it back.

"I can't believe that you would think me so selfish as to not want to give you this," he says, his voice hard and focused.

"I'm sorry," you whimper again, "I'm sorry!" Your own moan stops you from continuing as his fingers circle the sides of your walls.

"I'm not those other men you've been with, your pleasure and happiness are _fundamental_ to my own." He dips to suck one of your nipples before licking back up your neck to your ear again. "If you haven't come, you get to demand it from me, I want you to come, I won't be satisfied until you are," he says desperately. You gasp Bucky's name as he alternates between kissing you sweetly and whispering into your ear, all while making you fall apart with his hand. "You deserve every moment of pleasure, and I want to give you it all, do you understand?"

You nod, tears leaking from the corners of your eyes, and you whine loudly as one of Bucky's fingers starts to press on the skin just behind your entrance.

Bucky says your name. "Tell me you won't do it again, you won't deny yourself."

"I won't!" you say as your back arches from the bed.

"Say the whole thing," he growls.

"I won't deny myself, I won't! Please, Bucky, I'm sorry, I won't, I promise!"

He shushes you and while his hand stays steady, pushing you closer to your release, his lips brush across your face. "You deserve to feel good, sweetheart. You deserve to be happy, as happy as you make me." 

"I--" you cry, unsure of what you'll say. It doesn't matter when you are cut off by Bucky's fingers curling against your walls, caressing while they move in and out. You move frantically with him and Bucky turns your head towards his to kiss you again and again. Your lips sometimes miss, but he doesn't stop, and when it becomes hard to kiss him at all while his hand and fingers so skillfully bring you to completion, Bucky's lips move down your neck and suck on your skin. You come, sharply and powerfully, clenching around his fingers as they continue to move and make you shiver through the aftershocks. Even as you slow your body to a stop and lay still, Bucky keeps his fingers in you, kissing your neck and shoulder as you take heaving gulps of air interspersed with tiny whines and his name. 

 

With each deep breath, your body settles and your mind comes out from the haze of your orgasm. However with that clarity, too quickly everything else crashes back - your doubt, his dismay, your lack of communication - and you start to cry again. Your thoughts bounce confusingly between the pleasure still thrumming through your body, the mental anguish for how you hurt Bucky, and the absolute dread that you've fucked it all up. As soon as you start to cry, Bucky's fingers pull out and you can't help but notice how the withdrawal matches what you feel you deserve. You start to push away from Bucky, peeling yourself from his body, but he doesn't let you and instead wraps you in his arms to keep you pressed tight against him.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry Bucky, I swear I didn't mean to do that, I should never have thought that you wouldn't take care of me, you are such a good man, I'm sorry," you babble through your sobs.

"I'm not mad at you, I'm not mad," he whispers against your forehead. "I could never be mad at you for something like that, sweetheart."

You sob louder after hearing him say that name so tenderly.

"You've been with a lot of selfish people, and they've made you think you aren't deserving of attention and love. I never want you to feel that way with me."

"Bucky, I'm sorry."

"Shh, babygirl, shh, it's okay, you're with me now and I'm never going to treat you like that. Never." He uses a metal finger to touch under your chin and lift your face to his. There isn't any anger or stress in the way he looks at you. The crinkles in the corners of his eyes look a little deeper than normal, but only from care and concern. His thumb strokes your cheek, smearing your tears across your skin, and then he leans forward to kiss you oh-so-softly. He holds his mouth against yours gently before opening to touch your lips with his tongue, sweetly requesting that you open yours for him. When you do, the kiss stays soft and slow and delicate. When Bucky pulls back to look you in the eyes again, you feel yourself become more settled. He kisses you once again before pressing his nose into your temple and rubbing it back and forth through the fine hairs there.

"You're _my_ girl, and I wanna take care of you as best as I can."

"You do, you always do, darling."

"We'll talk more in the morning. I want you to rest now and know that everything is okay."

You pull back to look him in the eyes one last time. "It is?"

"Yes, I promise it is. Go to sleep, sweetheart."

He pulls you forward into his chest, and though your arm is a little awkwardly trapped underneath your body, you can't be bothered to care. You choose to trust him when he says that everything is okay, but your heart struggles to accept it. You are glad that he is pressing you tight against his body because you don't want to move away from him, and you want nothing more than to let his scent surround you and for the gentle movements from his chest to lull you to sleep. As his hand slowly strokes your back, your physical exhaustion overtake everything else to let your mind fall into slumber.

 

 

 

◆ ◆ ◆

 

 

 

You wake up very slowly, taking longer than usual to adjust to your position and surroundings. Your face and upper chest - tits included - are very warm and a little damp with sweat, and after a moment of sleepy confusion, you realize it is due to being plastered flat to Bucky's chest. You push yourself upright enough to look up the bed to Bucky, who smiles back. His smile doesn't reach his eyes.

"Are you alright, sweetheart?"

"Mmm?" Your brain is still a little sleep-slow, and you use the back of your hand to rub over your face. Once you've wiped a bit of the dampness from your cheek and crust from your eyes, you look back at Bucky. You had figured that his pause was to allow you to wake up, but as you focus again on his face, you see a lot of worry.

"Baby?" you ask quietly.

"Last night got really intense, and I pushed you there without asking." He looks to the side for a moment, then looks back to you. "I shouldn't have done that. Are you alright?" he repeats.

Instinct urges you to immediately reassure him, but your sleepy brain does you a favor and keeps you slow to respond. You use the moment to stroke his chest and consider it. 

You feel like you always do the morning after a Big Cry: drained, sluggish, but also relieved. You know something important has been unlocked in your subconscious, and though it was unexpected, it might have been necessary, especially for the health of your relationship. 

You bend down to place a kiss on his chest, close to the scarring on his left shoulder. "I'm alright. More than alright." 

"You sure?"

"Yeah." As you think on it more, last night was dramatic but it wasn't bad. You struggle to express what you feel. "I was so worried that you were mad at me, and I hated that it was all because I didn't just say something."

"I wasn't mad at you. I didn't want you to think I was like those other men, and I wanted to prove to you that I wasn't. I didn't mean to scare you."

"I guess we've both learned something, huh? I can't just hope that you'll guess what I want."

"I won't confuse your emotions like that again. And I'll ask more clearly next time."

"You did ask though. And I wanted it all, I just didn't know how intense it would get."

"Still," he interjects.

You pause again, stroking your thumb across his chest. Bucky's hand is on your back, and his fingers gently brush up and down your spine. When you continue, you speak softly. "I've never really had a healthy sexual relationship, and I'm sorry to have brought those bad habits into this. I'll, um, be sure to ask for what I want when I'm with you and Steve. And... I'll always tell you if I don't like it. I'll never just let you do something because I think I have to for you."

"Good, that's important too."  


"I wanted it last night. I have never felt as good as I do when I'm with you."

"You deserve to be treated right, sweetheart."

"I'm sorry I didn't speak up," you whisper, pressing your face into his chest. "I don't want to mess this up, Bucky."

"You aren't gonna mess it up, not if we're both working on it. I don't want to mess it up either, and doing something you don't want just because I'm upset..." he trails off.

 

You squeeze his side, or as much as you can squeeze his solid body, then move your hand to rest on his abs. You start to really remember what he did, how fervent he became all while his talented fingers got you off. It was surprising and left you emotionally raw, but no one has ever brought that much passion into your bedroom before.

"You know, I never felt unsafe or scared. It was more like, I was... distraught, at the idea that you were upset with me and then overwhelmed that it was all driven by the fact that you want to make me come, to make me feel good. I haven't experienced that before," you say, tucking your face into his chest again. You can't help but kiss his skin and whisper, "I've never been with anyone who cares about me like you do."

Bucky lets his hand on your back drag across your skin to rest just above your ass, then he uses his metal hand to tilt your chin up to look at his face.

"You're so beautiful," he murmurs. He reaches with his neck to kiss your forehead, then nose, then cheek, then corner of your mouth, before pulling back just far enough to look into your eyes. When he leans forward to press his lips to yours, you can't help the tiny sigh that slips from your throat. Bucky has shown you so many sides of himself this weekend, and his tenderness and gentle touch feel so precious and private.

You move the hand on his chest to his neck, feeling the tendons under his skin shift as he continues reaching to kiss you. His tongue lightly touches your lips, and you open your mouth so that your tongue can touch his in return. Though you both taste a little sour, the moment is too soft and delicate to mention it. After stretching to reach the other's lips for a few minutes, Bucky finally gets tired of that, shifts his hand to your ass and pulls you up his body. You giggle, adjusting yourself and moving your arm that had been curled into your side so that you are up on your elbow over him. With the hand that had been on his neck, you run your fingers through his hair, and when your eyes drop back to his face, you are stunned by what you see: the softest smile and his eyes focused on you, an image you want to remember for the rest of your life. It's there again, that fierce feeling that creates a sharp clench in your heart, so before you can voice it, you bend down to kiss him again, this time sucking his bottom lip between yours and caressing it with your tongue.

 

You would have been perfectly content to have simply laid in bed kissing all morning, but when Bucky rolls you onto your back without letting his lips leave yours, you feel the mood ignite. He settles between your thighs, pushing them wide with his own and starts to stroke his hand up and down your body. You bite his lip and slide your hands down his back to his ass and grab, feeling the muscles flex. Bucky pulls back and huffs a laugh before nipping at your nose.

"I can't believe I haven't spent the whole weekend worshiping this masterpiece," you say, squeezing harder for a moment before letting your hands rub over his skin. You kiss him again then pull his ass down so that you can thrust against him. You angle your hips so that his cock fits right between your legs.

"You've got me all figured out, huh?"

"I've been paying attention. But... there's one more thing I wanna know," you say, trailing off at the end. You keep pulling him down into you and helping him thrust so that his cock slides through the folds of your cunt. 

He kisses you again, breathing through his nose as he sucks your lip, then whispers, "Yes?"

"I want to taste you."

Bucky smiles, "What do you call this?" He kisses you again and drags his tongue across your lips. 

"I wanna suck your cock, honeybear," you plead.

He gives you a hesitant look. "And you're not just doing it because you think you have to, right?" he asks.

You pause with your hands still resting on his ass. In the past you have given men oral because you thought you had to, but that's not how you feel now. If you didn't like it, if you didn't want to, you know now that he would never, ever pressure you, or make you feel like you needed to do it in order to keep him around. 

You want to do it because you want to learn _all_ of his body. You want to taste him, and you want to try to give him the same pleasure with your mouth as he does for you with his. With other men, it has been an obligation, but with Bucky, it feels like an offering.

"I'm asking because I really want to." You move one of your hands to his shoulder then slowly drag it down his chest, stopping just above his cock. "May I?" You start by looking at him through your lashes before you lift your head to face his openly and earnestly. This isn't about seduction; it's about trust.

When he smiles back at you, he looks so much more genuine, and he nods before rolling off of you and onto his back. You move his legs apart and settle between his thighs and drag your eyes down from his face over his chest and let your gaze stay on his cock. This whole weekend, you've been whispering and moaning about how big and thick his cock is, and now that you're looking at it and thinking about fitting it in your mouth, your chest fills with nerves.

"Will you-- Will you tell me what you like? Guide me?"

He smiles softly and strokes your cheek with his thumb. "Yeah, sweetheart, I can do that."

Hearing him call you sweetheart still - still! - gives you a warm feeling, and you use that little boost of delight to lick from the root to the tip of his dick. 

"Fuck yes, kitten, that's a great start."

 

He talks you the whole way through it, having you adjust first by just sucking on the head, then slowly starting to move your lips down his shaft. He puts his hand in your hair to keep you from trying to take the whole thing at once, whispering, " _use your hand, sweetheart._ " You worry for a moment about there being too much friction, and as soon as you lift off of him to reach for the lube in your drawer, Bucky is opening it to pour some in your hand. You get your mouth back on his cock and are a little too zealous, pushing yourself to the point where you almost gag, but you pull back and get your slick hand on him. He whispers about how good you're doing, how perfect and hot your mouth feels on him, along with little requests to use your hand to stroke his balls and wiggle your tongue as you suck. 

"Babydoll, yes," he moans. He is thick enough that he stretches your mouth and lips to the point where they're sore, but the pleasure on his face when you look to him is plenty of encouragement to keep you going. You feel yourself become even more aroused when he looks back at you and you see your own lust reflected in his eyes. 

It doesn't take long for you to get a good feel for what he likes, and you start to mix them up and work them in harmony to amp up his pleasure as much as possible. His hands run through your hair and gently grab and pull, and as his voice starts to get higher and grip tighter, you keep your mouth on him, sucking harder. He's whispering how close he is, and signaling that you can pull off of him, but you move your hand faster with one goal in mind. As the salty and earthy evidence of his pleasure pour into your mouth, your mind is flushed with its own endorphins of happiness. You feel so rewarded, even as a little of his cum leaks past your lips. After only a second of hesitation, you swallow.

 

Bucky keeps one hand in your hair while the metal one traces over the skin of your face. He uses his thumb to wipe that little bit of the cum from the corner of your lips, then gently pulls you forward to kiss him. You rest your hand on bed just above his shoulder and leave the other on his chest, stroking gently. You pull away from him, only a little bit, and bite your lip before murmuring, "Make me come, honeybear?"

Bucky's grin is wicked and his heated gaze doesn't leave your face as he turns you to your back and moves down your body. He brings you off first with his mouth, then pulls you onto him and holds you by your hips as you ride him and both come together a second time.

 

◆ ◆ ◆

 

After, you trade lazy kisses in the mid-morning sunlight streaming through the blinds. You take a shower together, and though it is not as long as the first you took two mornings ago, it is no less sensual. When you make breakfast for him, Bucky stays close to you the entire time. You only tease him once for being in your way; as soon as he starts to move away, you grab his hands and pull him back. 

 

You take a walk around the neighborhood after breakfast, showing Bucky the places Natasha, Sharon, and Sam pointed out and talking to him more about their visit. His face is frustrated and angry, but you know it's not directed at you because he keeps his arm wrapped around your waist or around your shoulder, or he holds your hand with his and he keeps pulling you close to him to just rub his nose in your hair or kiss your temple.

 

When there is only one hour remaining before you need to leave for work, he is the one to suggest laying together on the couch. He lays back and pulls you down to lay on his body then drags the blanket from the back of the couch over you both. He keeps one hand on your back and the other on your ass, and his touch feels possessive in a way that makes your heart catch fire. You spent three months reminding yourself that they would come back, that they cared for you, and his touch is a perfect reward for your patience. You no longer need to worry about how they feel, and Bucky doesn't need to tell you in words when his actions show you everything you want to know. 

"I love you," you whisper. You have kept it locked away, been denying the feeling all weekend, but you know it won't scare him and see no reason to hold it in. You do not expect him to say it in return, you just don't want to restrain the feeling any longer.

He kisses your temple and whispers back, "I know."

"Is that a Star Wars reference or am I that obvious?"  


He laughs. "You wear your heart on your sleeve, babygirl. But you also whispered it to Steve and me just before you fell asleep the other night."

The tops of your cheeks flush with warmth. "Oh. Well, I would say that one doesn't count, but I know I meant it then too, I just was too dazed to hold it back."

Bucky chuckles, "I know."

You feel so relieved to finally tell him, at having voiced something that has been clogging your emotions since he first washed you in the shower two mornings ago. You feel so lucky to experience this with him. Right now in his arms, you feel so safe and protected, so rewarded for waiting all those months and for trusting him to return. 

 

This time, it's your phone that chirps to alert you of the time. You only took the morning off from work, so as much as you want this weekend to never end, you know it's time to return to the rest of your life. Bucky had already gathered all his things together while you cleaned up from breakfast, and he grabs his bag before he bends down to give your cat a soft scratch goodbye. You sling your messenger bag onto your shoulder, weighed down with your work laptop and papers to review for the day - you will likely need to work late tonight, but it's worth it. It's all worth it. 

 

Once outside with the front door locked, you turn to face him and say your final goodbye. He has his leather jacket on and his metal hand holds his gym bag with two fingers resting on his shoulder. He reaches out with his free arm to pull you forward, and you keep your eyes focused on his as you wrap your arms around his neck.

"I love you," you say again, quietly.

He brings you full against his body as he bends to capture your lips with his one last time. He might not say it in response, but you can feel something like it in the passion of his kiss. 

He pulls back away from you slowly, keeping your faces close together. The heat from your breaths keeps a warm pocket around your faces while the rest of the chilly winter air surrounds your bodies. 

"Take care of yourself, sweetheart."

"I will. Come back when you can." You press your face into his chest one last time, taking a deep breath to try to memorize his scent.

"I will," he says, rubbing your back. "Text and call me whenever you want. I mean it."

"I will," you laugh at the unintentional call and response. "Be safe, darling."

He smiles as he backs away. "I will, sweetheart."

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Intense sex scene: It is due to a lack of healthy communication. The reader isn't honest with Bucky about what she wants in bed, and this upsets him. After she says yes (she wants to continue), he makes her come, but both parties experience a lot of mixed emotions while engaging in sex. The reader cries after, and Bucky comforts her. In the morning, they discuss how they need to communicate better so that it doesn't happen again.
> 
> \---
> 
> Person: Does anyone actually cry this much?  
> Me: Uh... nooo... it's.. fiction... I certainly don't have first-hand experience at crying at almost everything....
> 
> Thank you for all your kudos and comments. They mean a lot to me. <3


	11. Flowers and Puppy Eyes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you as always for your patience while I take a lot of time to write! I hope you enjoy the chapter. :)
> 
> And just a note, but there are some very minor - so minor that I'm not adding the tag - but soft dom vibes by the reader in this chapter. (bc steve deserves only the softest dom.) There is also lots of consent.

 

 

 

Only a few days after your weekend with Bucky, you get a text message: _Can I take you out to dinner on Saturday night?_ Then a few moments later, _Someplace nice, but quiet._ Then ten seconds after that, _When was the last time you went to the art museum?_

You laugh, especially since Steve's eagerness shines through even in his messages. 

_ << I'd love to go out Saturday night! I'll pick us a nice place, we can dress up and feel real fancy. And I went to the museum a few months ago! There's a few really great exhibits right now._

>> _Perfect. I'll be there at 5:30 sharp. Can't wait._

<< _< 3_

 

At 5:28 PM on Saturday evening, HELEN announces that _Captain Steve Rogers is approaching the front entrance_ and a second later you hear the doorbell. You've been ready to go for about ten minutes, not wanting to delay the evening for one moment. You open the door and Steve looks at you with a beautiful smile. One of his hands is behind him, the other reaches out for you. He puts his arm around your lower back and gently pulls you forward.

"Hi baby."

"I'm so happy to see you, honey."

Steve bends to kiss you, a sweet and light peck as if he's trying not to let a drop of your lipstick smudge out of place. He takes a step back but holds your hand in his, and you get a chance to look at him. He's dressed in a navy blue suit, tailored perfectly, a crisp white shirt, and a green floral-patterned tie. His disguise glasses are in his breast pocket, right in front of a lovely green pocket square the same shade as his tie.

You put your other hand on your waist with your elbow out. "How am I supposed to look at the art tonight when I have you standing next to me?"  


"Hey, that was going to be my line!"

You're wearing a cocktail dress that makes you feel like a million bucks, and with the evening forecasted to be chilly, you have your fanciest pashmina to wrap up over your shoulders and stockings on your legs. There's another surprise for Steve under your layers; you have to try to keep your mind off of it since that will hopefully be revealed much later in the evening. 

 

After a moment of staring and admiring each other, Steve pulls his other arm from behind him with a large bouquet of your favorite flowers in his hand. You feel your face brighten and you look back up to Steve.

"Flowers? For me?"

"You like them?"

"These are my favorites," you say as you reach out to put your face right into the flowers and take a deep breath. "Let me put these in water and then we can go - I got us a reservation downtown."

He follows you to the kitchen and stands near as you get a vase and take a moment to snip the ends of the flowers and mix some sugar and a little vinegar into the water. You want these blooms to last as long as possible. 

Once you're done with the flowers, you feel him grip your waist. He gently turns you, takes your face in his hands, lets his thumbs gently brush your jaw and kisses you again. Steve normally kisses you with passion and heat, but this time he is so slow and sweet that you find yourself a little dazed when he pulls away. 

He gives you one additional peck, then says, "I could spend the whole evening right here kissin' you. But I wouldn't want to ruin your makeup and clothes before we've even left."

You smirk, "I learned my lesson the last time I wore lipstick on a date with Bucky." You bring your fingers to press against your lips. You pucker and kiss, then pull your hand away and show him. "No-smudge lipstick. You'll have to try harder than that to make me look disheveled."

In a heartbeat, Steve's eyes change from charmed to devilish. "I'll remember that for later," he says before leaning down to kiss you again, the sweetness of the kiss in opposition to the mood in the air. You moan, and then gently push him away. 

"Don't tempt me to stay here the whole night! Let's be on our way before that happens." 

"Sounds good, baby. Where are we going for dinner?"

You hum contently, "There's this little Italian place that has a really lovely outdoor patio. Lots of heaters so it's still warm and cozy."

He pulls you close again, "Perfect."

You reach on your toes to kiss him one more time. "Will you drive us, honey?"

He grabs your hand and leads you out of the kitchen. You stop to put on your heels, then step outside and lock the door. As soon as your keys are in your clutch, Steve takes you by the hand again to lead you to the car. He brings it to his lips to kiss once he gets to the passenger door then helps you inside.

Part of you wants to joke about him being so doting, and the other part can see how genuine he is. Even as you look at his face when he gets in the car on the driver's side, he looks so happy that you wouldn't want to tease and risk making him self-conscious about it. 

 

And, a little belatedly, you realize that you really love the special treatment.

 

 

Once in the car and moving, Steve reaches across the transmission and takes your hand.

"You normally drive stick shift," you say with a questioning tone.

He chuckles, "Normally yeah, but tonight I wanted my hand to be free for other things," as he strokes your palm softly with his thumb. 

"Such a romantic," you purr, smiling back at him while he watches you from the corner of his eye. "Where are these rentals from? I struggle to imagine you in the Rent-a-Car waiting room."

Steve laughs again. "There's a SHIELD base close by. It's where all of our transport is centered."

"I didn't know there was a SHIELD base in the area. I guess I should have known, huh?"

"It's not something that's announced. SHIELD is obnoxiously secretive."

You hum, not wanting to dive into civic ambiguity of governmental secrecy at the moment.

"Did everything go okay last weekend? When you had to leave?"

"To be honest, I'm a little frustrated they called me in, but I'd rather be there and feel extraneous than not be there and..." he trails off.

"Yeah." After a moment of quiet, you tease, "Hey, did you get a chance to shower or did you go on a mission smelling like our evening's activities?"

Steve laughs, "Sam gave me so much shit for that. Which was good, I wasn't very pleasant when I arrived, but I didn't take one until after the mission. It was funny to catch everyone's reactions."                                                          

"Not embarrassing? As much as I wish I wouldn't, I'm pretty sure I'd blush until I burst."

"Till you burst, huh? No, not embarrassing. A few years ago I would have been mortified but Bucky has a way of removing all my shame about intimacy."

"Hmm, yeah, I think I got a little of that first-hand last weekend."

"I bet you did. Tell me about the weekend. I loved your videos."

You tell him about those few days with Bucky, filling in with as many of the small details as you can. "We went to this really secluded area of the park but Bucky had to carry me on his back due to my, uh, physical exhaustion from the night before."

Steve smiles, "We really did a number on you, huh baby?"

"You both took excellent care of me and I would never complain," you say genuinely. Steve raises your hand to his lips and kisses the back of it lightly. You continue to tell him about the weekend, all the way up until he parks the car a few blocks from the restaurant. Once the engine is off, you reach for the door handle, but Steve quickly says, "Wait!" then practically jumps out of the car and runs around to the passenger side to open the door for you. You can't help the bashful smile on your face as you give Steve your hand and he helps you out of your seat. You wrap your pashmina around your shoulders and Steve shuts your door and offers his arm for you to take. 

You adjust your shawl again and Steve leans toward your ear and asks, "Would you like my jacket?"

Smiling back you answer, "Maybe later. For now I want to admire the complete outfit," and then rub his arm with your hand. 

When you arrive at the restaurant and give your name for your reservation, you notice the hostess's eyes widen upon glancing at Steve. As she's leading you to your table, you look at his face and understand why. 

"Steve, your glasses!" 

He jolts and puts them on quickly, right before the hostess turns back to you with an arm extended toward your small table under a little foliage and fairy lights. Steve pulls out your chair and once he's seated on the other side, the hostess hands you your menus, then turns away with a very obvious smile on her face. 

You lean forward. "Steve, I'm pretty sure the hostess knows _exactly_ who you are."

"Damnit. Natasha would be so disappointed in me."

"You were too distracted by your own chivalry."

"I was too distracted by the stunning girl on my arm."

"Wouldn't Natasha find that worse?"

Steve laughs, "I'll tell her you said that."

 

◆ ◆ ◆

 

After you order an antipasto, you notice the hostess speaking animatedly with a guy near the kitchen entrance. Steve has the better view of the entire restaurant, but that puts his back to where the staff come and go. The hostess motions directly at you, and you feel your stomach drop. Steve stops in the middle of his story when he notices your diverted focus, and whispers your name.

"Is everything okay?" he asks.

You look back to him and minutely shake your head as you watch the hostess and the man she'd been talking to make their way towards your table. They're turned toward each other, even while they walk, and though they might think they're whispering, you can hear the guy clearly.

"Oh, I'd recognize those shoulders anywhere, it's definitely him."

Steve's posture stiffens.

The hostess slaps the guy's arm and composes herself as she approaches the table. Even though you had been watching them the entire time, they haven't made eye contact with you. When you look back at Steve, his expression looks frustrated and tired. 

"Hi, you're Captain America, right?" the hostess asks.

Steve visibly cringes. "Uh, yes. I am."

"I knew it!" the man shouts. A few people turn from other tables to look over, and you quickly turn your face away from view, trying not to attract any further attention.

"Holy shit!" the hostess says, completely oblivious to the scene she is creating. Thankfully, the man shushes her. She lowers her voice, "Sorry, I didn't mean to shout. It's just so wild that you're here!"

"You're like, such an inspiration."

"Oh my god, yes, you are so amazing. Could we take a selfie with you?"

You happen to turn your head up from your lap to glance at Steve, who looks extremely uncomfortable. You hate seeing him like that, and you're also peeved that not only have these two completely ignored you, but they seem to have no shame for interrupting your dinner.

"It's always nice to meet citizens who appreciate my work with the Avengers," Captain America says, because no one else could get away with saying " _citizens_ " like that. "But I'm having dinner with my companion," the two of them finally look over to you while you make a strong effort to keep your expression neutral, "and I'd rather not draw any more attention to us. Perhaps after we're finished?"

Neither of them do anything to hide their disappointment. The hostess finally speaks, "Oh, sure, okay, no problem. I'm at the front anyway so I'll just catch you on your way out."

"Thanks, Cap! Enjoy your dinner!" the man says as he grabs the hostess's hand and pulls her away.

Steve is quiet for a moment while you keep your face turned to the side. You start to wonder how many other people have noticed that the gentleman across from you is the famous Captain America. Will they take his picture without even asking? What if you're in the picture, what if they post it online and it hits a gossip site? What if the wrong people see you?

You're freaking out a little.

Steve takes a deep breath and exhales. "I hate when people do that." He looks at you and says your name softly. "Do you want to go?"

You jolt slightly and look up at him. "What? No! Do you?"

"Are you alright?"

"It's just," you pause and worry at your lip, "What if they start some rumors about you and some dumb gossip site gets ahold of it?"

"Can't be any worse that what FOX News says about me on a daily basis."

"Steve, I'm being serious."

"I know, baby. I'm not worried about that, but we can leave before it gets worse."

"I don't want to ruin our evening."

" _You_ haven't ruined anything, they did. And they can pay for it by not getting that selfie." He pulls out his wallet from his inside jacket pocket and places a hundred dollar bill under the candle glass. "Come on, let's go before they notice."

Steve stands and holds out his hand to take yours. His pull is strong as he guides you through the tables and right out the front gate. You hear a shocked sound from the hostess but don't look back to see her face. Once you're about a block away from the restaurant, Steve stops and pulls you into his chest, wrapping his arms around your shoulder and waist. 

"Can you tell me what's bothering you?" he asks, and you feel it rumble through his chest.

You stay quiet for a moment, letting yourself enjoy the warmth of his arms and the solitude of the streetlamp-shadowed avenue. When you speak, it is softly into his chest.

"What if bad people see the photo and identify me. What if they use it to hurt me and get to you?"

"That's," Steve starts, then pauses to take your question seriously. "That's a possibility. But that will always be a possibility when we go out. And so is the possibility that they've tailed me, or put a tracker on me, or have been monitoring me long enough that they've noticed the pattern in my locations."

This isn't reassuring you, and Steve must sense it from how your body tenses.

"But that's the risk. I'm sorry that it is that way, but—"

You interrupt him to finish, "—that's part of the entire beautiful, charming, muscular, caring package."

Steve chuckles, "Yeah, it is. If this makes you reconsider, I'll understand..." he trails off.

You shake your head quickly, "I think it's just a hard to be confronted so directly with everything, but you're worth it."

Steve squeezes and releases you, but not completely, keeping one arm around your waist. "Hey, hand me your phone."

You unlock it and hold it out for him to take.

"HELEN, could you keep an eye out for any pictures of us tonight? Anything that shows up on a website or blog or whatever."

"Certainly, Captain Rogers."

"Thank you, HELEN," you say to your phone. Looking back to Steve, "I always forget that I have a brilliant and sophisticated A.I. to help protect me."

Steve kisses your temple. "We have the advantage, and I will do everything to keep you safe." He turns you to face him and dips to kiss you gently, then pulls away to hold your gaze. He whispers like an aside to himself, "I'm being so selfish to ask these things of you."

You scoff. "Selfish? Don't you deserve happiness? Don't I?"

He kisses you again but doesn't confirm. Against his lips, you mumble, "Say it."

"Say what, baby?"

You pull away to look him in the eyes again. "'I deserve happiness.'"

He smirks, "You deserve happiness."

"Now you're just being a shit, Steve," you say and poke him in the side.

"Alright, yes, I deserve happiness."

"And if we can give that to each other, we should."

"Wait, I thought I was reassuring you?"

"I don't know how you haven't figured this out yet, but my superpower is comforting people."

"That's a good superpower. You should join the Avengers."

"I would drive everyone bonkers with my coddling."  


Steve squeezes your side, "You would not. However, as already established, I am selfish and want you all for myself."

"Good. I prefer taking care of just you and Bucky anyway." Your stomach chooses that moment to growl.

"Your stomach makes an excellent point. We still need to eat."

"Do you just want to go home and I can make us something there?"

"Babygirl, I said I'd take you out and that hasn't changed. I'm sure there are many more fine restaurant choices in this great city of yours." His face lights up. "Hey, what about that diner we went to the first time?"

You remember how ordinary everyone was around Steve and Bucky, even without the disguise glasses. "Yeah, that sounds good. It's less than a mile away too. Although we might be a little overdressed."

"That's the great thing about diners: casual or fancy, they've got a meal for you. Plus, I think about their pie all the time."

You grab his suit jacket lapels and pull him forward. "You are the cutest," you say, before pressing your lips to his. You both take a moment to enjoy the kiss before Steve breaks away.

"Baby, I will stand here kissing you all night, but you're hungry, you're cold, and it's about time that I be a good date again."

"How can I be cold when I have you to warm me up?" you reply cheekily, slipping your hands under his jacket and rubbing his sides.

"You're a sexy little menace," he teases before grabbing one of your hands and leading you back to the car. 

 

◆ ◆ ◆

 

Everyone in the diner comments on your fancy outfit versus your famous companion. Steve remembered to put on his glasses, but several members of the staff welcome him back like a regular. No one brings any unwanted attention to him, instead they come behind the counter and greet him quietly, then leave the two of you to yourselves once you settle in. Steve is significantly more relaxed, but once you've ordered, his face becomes very serious.

"I want to apologize again for leaving so suddenly last weekend. I know that I hurt you."

You're taken back by this apology. "Steve," you breathe, then hesitate. You're not sure what to say. 

Steve continues, "I told you once about how my life is a lot to handle. It really is. It's draining. I don't get much personal time, and ever since I came out of the ice, I've come to realize that I'll never get to have a civilian life.

"Being with you gives me flashes of normalcy. I think that's why I'm so selfish about my time with you. Not enough to really ignore my responsibilities, but enough that I feel like... maybe I don't have to miss out. Maybe I can still have it.

"Then I get called in, and I _hate_ how I feel when I leave. I know what I have to do, and I would never want to stop doing that because I can do some good through my actions, but I still hate it. I hate when I have to leave Bucky in our bed at 3 am, I hate that I can't spend an entire weekend with you. And that I might never get to."

"Honey..."

"I'm sorry that I'll never be able to give you what you deserve."

"Please," you have to take a deep breath to stop yourself from crying, "Please don't say that. I know why you are, but please don't. You have an important job to do, and I know that. I've known that since before I even met you. I'm just sorry that you have to give up so much of yourself to be this symbol. That isn't fair and it never will be. But Steve," you reach out to take his hand, "I am so lucky and happy to have you just as you are. You are enough, baby." You squeeze his hand, "I know it doesn't seem like it when I burst into tears anytime you tell me something that makes me sad or upset, but I'm sorry to say that you've ended up with a girl who processes her emotions via aqueous output." 

Steve chuckles, and you continue. "What is important to me is that you are still going to try. Of course I know that you'll have to leave unexpectedly sometimes, and that I might not see you for long periods of time. I have no illusions that those times won't be hard, but you are worth it. You are worth every moment of happiness that we can have together. You deserve it all, and I think it is such a blessing that I am the one of the few people who gets to give you that."

Steve whispers your name, full of emotion that he doesn't sound ready to express.

You smile, "You aren't the only one who can give a heartwarming speech."

Steve laughs brightly.

You continue, "Nights like these are spectacular. But they're special because they're something that can't happen every time I see you. Plus, you know how much I like to stay at home and just cook for you in my little space."

Steve leans in to kiss your cheek and whispers, "I do. Thank you, baby," into your ear. 

 

After that, things feel much more settled between the two of you. You didn't realize there had been any strain before, but now that you've talked, you can tell the difference. You both keep reaching out to touch the other as a reminder and a comfort. Steve orders a slice of pie to-go, as that he still wants to go to the art museum and you're running out of time before it closes. Steve pays the bill and you say goodbye to everyone on your way out with your hand in Steve's. 

 

The diner is only a few blocks from the art museum, so you decide to walk over after Steve leaves the pie in the car. The night has become cold enough that your pashmina isn't cutting it anymore. You've got your arm around Steve's, and he must feel you shiver, because he drops your arm in order to take off his jacket and place it around your shoulders. 

"Thank you, honey," you say. "You won't be too cold?"

"Not at all." Steve's smile makes you giggle. He looks so damn satisfied, he might as well be puffing out his chest. You tug his arm gently to get him to lean down a little, and you kiss his cheek.

" _Such_ a gentleman," you whisper in his ear. As you pull away, he turns his head to look you in the eyes, and you feel a little fire ignite. You keep walking and become much more aware of your hands on each other, your own feelings exaggerated by Steve's coat which surrounds you with his body heat and cologne. You make a point of breathing deep from the collar and glancing up at Steve while you do. The fire grows.

 

Once you're inside the lobby of the museum, you shrug off Steve's jacket and he folds it over his arm. You take a moment to straighten out your dress, shawl, and hair, even taking your lipstick from your clutch to touch-up. Steve watches all of your ministrations with a small smile. You turn to him, realizing he's enjoying your little show, and reach to brush his shoulders off, give his hair a quick swipe, and use your thumb to wipe away imaginary food from his lips. His smile transforms from fondness to jest, but before he can make his sassy comment, you interrupt, "We're at an art museum, I have to make sure that we look sharp."

You brush your hands across his chest - you can't resist - and declare him perfect.

"Pretty as a picture," he murmurs.

"Yes, you are," you grin back.

 

The first exhibit you visit is full of landscapes, graphite drawings of incredible detail and scale. You are reminded of when you visited the Smithsonian a few years back and saw Steve's exhibit.

"I read that you were an artist before the war. I mean, I saw your sketches."

"I was, yeah."

"But not anymore?"

"No, haven't picked up a pencil and sketch pad for a while."

You stay quiet. You don't want to become someone who tells Steve what he _should_ be doing a lot. That's gotta get annoying. However, Steve is giving you a look like he knows you have something more to say, so you decide to continue.

"Did it make you happy? Drawing?"

"I don't know, I was good at it and it was something I could do to earn money even in my constant state of poor health."

"Hmm."

"You think I should draw again?"

"I think you should do something just for you. For no reason other than you want to."

You move slowly around the exhibit. You don't know a lot about art, but you can appreciate it. Steve stays by your side, but you can't shake the feeling that you are prying into his business, just like those two fans who tried to insert themselves into Steve's life.

"Steve, I'm sorry."

Steve looks at you, confused.

"I'm not your therapist, and yet I keep trying to tell you what you should do to make yourself happy. I promise I'm doing it because I care, but that doesn't make my persistence excusable." Then, quickly and obviously changing the subject, "Look at the details on this one! I could look at it all night."

You count five heartbeats before Steve speaks. 

"I started seeing a therapist a few months ago. About a week after I saw you late that night."

You turn sharply toward him. "You did?" you ask, completely failing to keep the surprise from showing on your face.

"Bucky's been telling me to go for years. I just... didn't think I had time. Or that I needed it. I'm not sure I actually like it yet, but," he pauses, "he's made me realize some things. My therapist. He, uh, actually said something pretty similar."

You don't know what he means at first.

"About art?" He continues, "Doing something for myself."

"Oh."

"You're right, you're not my therapist, and you shouldn't be. But that doesn't mean I don't value what you have to say, especially when I know it's coming from a place of care." He chuckles. "Bucky's actually a little peeved about the fact that he's been telling me to see someone for years, but one mention from you and I'm going." He pulls you tight into his side. "Few people really care about _me_ , Steve, versus Captain Rogers. But you do."

You look up into his eyes. "Of course I do," you reply, filling your voice with affection.

He leans down to kiss you, lightly and briefly. You let out a very quiet whine, and your lips are still a little puckered and eyes still closed when he pulls away. You feel him kiss your cheek and linger.

"You are very important to me."

Your eyes open to see the adoration in his.

"Now come on," he says with more lightness in his tone, "let's try to see a few more exhibits before the museum closes."

You rise to your toes to kiss his cheek, then walk together out of the gallery.

 

For the rest of the evening, you both keep at least one hand on the other. When you walk from artwork to artwork, Steve leaves his hand on your lower back, then moves it to the side of your waist when you stop. Anytime you turn to him while discussing the art, you lay a hand on his chest or stomach. 

You keep catching Steve looking at you instead of the art, and he keeps catching you doing the same.

"Oh my god, Steve, we are such saps!"

He laughs, and then leans down to your ear, "I can't resist you, baby. You're the most beautiful thing in this building."

You have to look away from him and bring your hand to your face to try and hide your blush. 

Steve laughs then wraps his arms around your waist from behind you and whispers, "Here she is, the most beautiful woman in my arms."

"Steve..." you whine quietly.

"It's true. Captain America would _never_ lie."

"I don't care about what Captain America thinks, I only care about what Steve Rogers thinks."

Steve very subtly and lightly bites your earlobe. "Steve Rogers's opinion isn't appropriate for the public."

You are standing with your backs to the room, facing a painting. "Then I'll ask you for it when we get home," you flirt.

Steve leans to kiss your cheek, you tilt your head a little toward him so he doesn't have to reach as far.

"Let's see one more exhibit, baby."

 

The last one has abstract paintings of human figures, but there is no denying the nudity or suggestive poses. The paintings aren't erotic, rather they are intimate. Steve still has his hand around your waist, but now his fingers are starting to tease, caressing up and down, only a little, but enough to draw your focus from the art to his touch. You look up at his face and he doesn't look down to you, but you see a tiny smirk at the corner of his mouth. _He knows exactly what he is doing to me_ , you realize. _Well, two can play at that game_.

 

You walk away from him, just quickly enough that you put a small distance between you and Steve, and you sway your hips a little more than you do normally. You can feel how your dress rustles back and forth with the exaggerated steps in your stride. You stop in front of the next painting, pausing and stretching your head away from him slightly, elongating and exposing your neck for just a beat, then relaxing it upright. Steve steps up to you a moment later. He places his hand on your lower back again, dragging it down the fabric of your dress, down just to the top of your panties, pressing a little harder against your dress there, before moving his hand back upward. You walk away again, repeating your actions, this time turning your head back to look at him coyly. He grins and moves forward toward you once more, the room now a playground for your chase.

 

You feel a spark with each step, each glance at Steve amplifying your arousal. You can't believe the man looking at you _like that_ is Steve, a man about whom thousands of people fantasize every night. And tonight, he's all yours. Here he is, moving so close you can feel him by heat alone, even in this huge open room, dragging his hand down your back. You hope no one else is in the exhibit with you; you've spent the entire night worrying about being noticed and here you are starting your foreplay in public. 

You look up to him, savoring the fact that he isn't even pretending to look at the art anymore. "Let's go home, baby."

He hums with a smile and guides you out the room with his hand on your waist, down the hall and out the main entrance. On the steps in front of the bulding, he immediately takes his coat from his arm and wraps it around your shoulders. 

"I don't think I need it, honey. I'm pretty sure I'm being kept warm by your looks alone." Yes, you did just say that cheesy line, it was terrible but _you don't care_.

He takes your hand to kiss, leaving his lips against your skin. He smiles and tugs you forward, pulling you along fast. You stumble slightly, losing your balance while trying to move quickly.

"Baby! There is no way I'm keeping up with you in these heels," you say, noticing too late the mischievous look on his face as he lifts you bridal style and practically starts to run. 

"I cannot believe you, you are so ridiculous," you say, tucking your face into his shoulder. 

He laughs, a joyful sound as close to a giggle as you've ever heard out of him, but he keeps up his absurd pace as he jogs the couple blocks back to the car.

 

◆ ◆ ◆

 

On the drive home, you lean towards him in your seat, your whole body already opening for him in every way. You are both quiet but there is a thrum of excitement, the heat that has been simmering between the two of you the entire time in the museum is starting to boil over as you get closer to home. Steve breaks the silence first.

"Thank you for letting me really dote on you tonight." You can hear a rare timidity in his voice, as if he's still not sure whether it was acceptable.

"It's been wonderful. I've never had a date like this."

"I've always wanted to really go all out, but I either didn't have enough money, or Bucky wouldn't let me," he says the later with a chuckle. 

"Well, he is missing out and I will be sure to tell him so. I actually wanted to tease you about it at first, but then I realized that I _really_ like it."

"Do you feel special?"

"Yeah, I do."

"Good."

 

As you're walking through your front door, Steve drops an overnight bag on the floor and you ask, "Pending any world-saving, how much longer do I have you?"

"Well, I don't have any other commitments until tomorrow afternoon." 

You hum and toe off your heels. "So how do you feel about waffles for breakfast?"

Steve smiles brightly, "You make the best breakfasts." He leaves his shoes next to yours, then comes behind to wrap his arms around you and dip his face to your neck to kiss you tenderly. You arch your back into his body and reach your hands around to run one through his hair.

"You know honey, since you've taken such good care of me all evening, treated me so sweet and special, I think it's only fair that it be my turn now." You tighten your grip in his hair for a quick moment, releasing to run through the fine strands again. "What do you say, baby? Can I take care of you?" you coo in his ear. 

Steve draws his nose up and down your neck, then whispers reverently, "No one takes care of me like you do."

"Then let me take you to bed, honey."

You pull him by the hand down the hall to your room. Your heartbeat has picked up pace, triggered by your nerves, but you're propelled forward by the memory of how Steve has looked at you all night; you know you haven't been imagining that. You are further reassured when he pulls up close to you as soon as you get to your bedroom. His face dips into the curve where your neck meets your shoulder, kissing and nibbling the skin there. You enjoy the feeling for a moment, leaning back into his arms now wrapped around your waist. 

You turn around and run your hands over the dress shirt covering his shoulders, his suit jacket having already been dropped on the couch in your living room. Then, with your eyes on his, you undo his tie.

"This is a beautiful tie  —  do you have a lot of them?"

He blushes, "I borrowed it from Bucky."

You pull the tie completely from his neck. "I'll be sure to let him know how perfect it looks on you."

"Good, because he always teases me about borrowing his stuff."

You start to unfasten the top buttons of Steve's shirt. "Bucky? Tease _you_? I can't believe it," you say playfully, then turn and push him to the bed until the backs of his legs hit the mattress and he sits. He puts his arms around your hips and pulls you closer, between his open legs. 

He looks up at you standing in front of him, his eyes half-shut with arousal but focused. You step forward and use one hand to cup his face. Steve leans into it, closing his eyes while your other hand runs through his hair a few times. "You know, when you asked me out tonight, I knew I'd want to look nice for you, but I also wanted to find a way to look special too."

"You look breathtaking. Haven't been able to take my eyes off you all night."

You bring your hands to hold his face and lean down to kiss him gently. When you pull away, his eyes are still closed, a small smile at the corner of his lips. You stroke your thumbs across his cheeks, stunned once again by how handsome he is. 

"You see, a month or two ago I did a little research, and I found a seamstress who specializes vintage lingerie. She made me something really nice, but I'm going to need your help to take it off."

He looks up at you, a small vertical crease in his brow. You step back, biting your lip, and use your finger tips to grab the bottom of your dress. You slowly raise the hem to the top of your thighs so that the straps of your garters show, clipped into the top of your stockings. You look at Steve, whose eyes are fixed on your thighs, then you step forward again and raise your leg to carefully place your foot in Steve's lap.

"Will you help me honey?"

He nods quickly and moves his hands to the strap.

"Ah ah, go slow. You wouldn't want to tear any of my new things, right baby? My big strong man has gotta show me how gentle he is."

"Your big strong man, huh," Steve growls, dipping his face to run his nose along your inner thigh.

"Mmm, well, I think only the Hulk is stronger and he doesn't seem like he'd be that great of a bedfellow. Although, do you have Thor's number? I have a _huge_ crush on him — "

Steve growls and bites the skin right above your stocking. You huff - part laughter, part arousal.

"You're not jealous, are you, baby? You don't actually think I could ever want anyone other than you and Bucky, do you?"

Steve groans against your leg, then looks up at you while he kisses the soft area. His eyes are dark with lust. You're curious about how non-verbal he has become; it's hot, and it gives you some ideas. 

"Do you need me to tell you how good you are? How good you make me feel?"

Steve nods into your skin, biting again then licking the tender spot. 

"How about this, honey. I'm gonna keep a few of these pretty things on, I'm gonna help you take everything of yours off, and then I'm gonna show you just how good and special you are to me. How much I want you."

Steve pulls you forward again, hands on your ass under your dress. His arms hold the fabric back, which allows him to press his face into the vee between your thighs. He moans and starts to lick you through your panties. You run your hand through his hair, then gently grab and pull his head back.

"You're gonna have to wait before you do that, baby. I want to take care of you first." You cup his cheek while your hand is still holding his head back. You kiss him lightly, lingering. "When I'm done, I'm sure you'll still have plenty of energy left for me, right honey?"

Steve gives you a lazy smile. "Yeah," and though casual, you can hear every ounce of his certainty and determination.

"Until then, I want you to do what I say." You continue to run your hands through his hair. Steve hums. "Are you okay with that, baby?"

"Yes," he croaks, his voice scratchy and deep. 

"You can tell me if you don't like something, understand?"

"Yes," he says, slightly clearer and louder.

You're not sure where this confident dominance is coming from, but it is thrilling, and the look on Steve's face keeps you from second-guessing yourself.

"Take off my dress but only my dress." You turn around so he has access to the zipper. You feel him pull down the zipper slowly, and then feel his mouth kiss along the path of the open cloth.

"Don't get too carried away, honey, or you're gonna distract me."

Steve chuckles against your skin. With the zipper fully open, Steve drags his hands to your shoulders and pushes the dress down and off your arms, leaving your torso exposed in your very lovely satin bra. You feel Steve's fingers trace over the straps before you turn around to face him. He hums, the sound rumbling in his chest as he pulls down your dress over your hips and lets it fall to the floor. His gaze trails up and down your body, slow enough for you to see the hunger in his expression.

You ask anyway. "Tell me what you think." You reach forward and run your hands through his hair, patiently waiting for his response.

"You're my perfect doll."

"And you know how much I love bein' your doll." You draw your hand from his hair to his jawline, lifting to lightly tap him on the lips. "Stand up for me, honey."

Steve stands, keeping his face on you through the entire motion so that at his full height he seems to tower over you. He starts to reach out for you, but you put your hand flat on his chest to hold him back.

"Wait here, honey. I need to hang up my dress."

You kneel down directly in front of him to pick up your dress from the floor, purposefully eyeing him from below, looking just past his cock pressing against the front of his pants. You stand up and back away, moving to your closet to hang your dress. You genuinely don't want it to wrinkle.

You walk back in front of him and look up to his face. His eyes had followed you across the room, and his gaze is dark as he studies you. Reaching out to touch him, you let your hands slide up his chest then back down along his sides, moving to unbutton those last few still holding his shirt together near his waist. His shirt falls open, and you push it off his shoulders, drag your hands to his abs, caressing the muscles as they twitch under your fingers.

"Are you flexing for me, baby?" You look back up to him and revel in his sexy grin.

You continue to trail your hands down until you reach his belt, but before unbuckling, you move lower to finally feel the outline of his erection straining against the cloth. You cup him through the pants, savoring his resulting groan. "Honey, is this all for me?" you ask, coyly looking up to him again.

He smiles down at you and nods, but only a small movement. You stroke him over his pants, up and down a few times, just to rile him up. It works. You hear his breathing increase and watch as his hands clutch next to his sides.

"You're being _so_ good, baby. Let's get you out of these pants, hmm?" You keep looking at his face as you unbuckle and remove his belt, pushing his pants over his ass and letting them drop. He wears a pair of dark gray briefs, but not dark enough for you to miss the wet patch at the end of his erect cock. On impulse, you kneel down again and lean forward to mouth at the tip through the cloth, a hint of salty flavor through the neutral taste of cotton. It makes Steve cry out, and you pull back just as quick, sheepishly looking up to his face.

"I just couldn't help myself. Why don't you lay down, baby?"

As he goes down on the comforter, you get up and move around to the end of the bed. He leans back with his arms folded under his head, his legs stretched out in front of him.

You crawl next to him so that you can bend and kiss just above the soft elastic of his briefs, then you hook your fingers into the band on the sides of his hips and start to draw his underwear down his legs, letting your mouth follow your hands. Steve lifts his legs at the appropriate level so that the motion is smooth when you pull the cloth fully from his legs and release it. You move off the bed again, standing near Steve's feet.

You let your eyes rest on his naked dick straining up towards his chest on his belly.

"Spread your legs a little for me," you purr, and you almost lose your composure as you watch Steve open his legs, bending them slightly at the knees. His large and powerful thighs flex, his abs clench, and his back arches just a little from the bed. 

"Baby, yes, just like that," you sigh. 

Steve preens.

"You are absolutely perfect, I can't stop admiring how handsome you are." When you bend forward again to move between his legs, you feel one of the garter buckles holding your left stocking snap away, but you can't be bothered to fix it. 

You take your fingers and gently drag them up and down his thighs, watching Steve's face as you do. "I don't know how you do it, but you make me feel like the most special woman in the world," you say as you start to increase the pressure of your fingers little by little, using your nails to gently scratch his skin. "You do so much, and yet you come back to me."

Steve has started shifting his hips, thrusting a little into the empty air.

You squeeze his upper thighs, then rise on your knees, moving over his pelvis to sit lightly on his abs. Steve's hands move to your thighs, and when he starts to rub his hands on your skin, you grab them. "You can keep your hands on me, but you can't move them. Is that where you want them to be?"

He moves his hands to your hips, then with a little squeeze, keeps them still.

"So good for me." You use your fingers to caress his skin again, moving them across his chest to his shoulders. "You put the weight of the whole world on these wide shoulders, and you work so hard to never let anyone down. No wonder they're so strong." 

You keep moving your hands along his skin, resting momentarily to squeeze every so often. "Your heart and integrity are stronger that your muscles. Did you know I never doubted for a moment that you would return my car? I had met you for less than two minutes and yet I _knew_ I could trust you."

You rest your hands on his chest and lower yourself so give him a very light kiss, and then you linger just barely above his lips. Steve's lips stay puckered as you pull away.

 

"Can I tell you what I like about your body?" you whisper, and pull back just enough to look him in the eyes. Steve nods. "Mmm, I like your nose," you lean back in to kiss it, "it makes your profile so sharp, but there's this little crook here," you say, gently touching the bridge, "almost like you've been standing up to bullies before you had the serum to patch you back together, huh?" Steve's returning smile is bashful. 

You sit up a little and bring one of your hands up to cup his jaw. "Your whole face is made of angles and hard like marble," you say as you drag your finger from his cheekbone to his chin, then up to his bottom lip, which you pull back a little with your thumb. "These lips are so pink and luscious, especially after you have been thoroughly kissed." He puckers his lips on your thumb before you move it away. You take both your hands to move from his neck to his chest then across to his arms.

"These arms that can hold me effortlessly and apparently stop entire helicopters from lifting off the ground," you say, smirking and looking at him from the corner of your eye. You rise up on your knees to start moving down his chest, briefly bumping his stiff cock with your ass before lifting completely off his chest to sit back between his legs again. He whimpers from your quick touch. 

"The lines on your body are all so hard," you murmur as your fingers drag down his pelvis. You get very close to his cock, almost to the base, before moving away to caress down his thighs again. Steve whines.

"Should I talk about your thighs? How huge they are? How I've dreamed about coming simply from rubbing myself on them?" 

Steve makes a strangled noise as his head tips back then moans your name. You grip his legs and feels his muscles shift, and he thrusts into the air again. 

"Is there something you want, baby? Something I'm ignoring?"

He moans your name again.

"Oh honey, I could never forget how perfect your cock is." You grab his sides, right at his hips, and lean down so that your mouth is just above his dick. You whisper, "When you're inside me, I feel so full and complete. You're so _thick_." You let yourself breathe hotly near the head, and Steve shifts beneath you. He is leaking precum onto his stomach, so without touching his dick, you use your index finger to swipe it up and bring it to your mouth. He tastes salty and earthy. You moan and rise away from him, and Steve fidgets.

With a tiny _pop!_ , you pull your finger from your mouth. "Baby, am I being cruel to you and your neglected cock? This beautiful cock that has given me so much pleasure," you purr. Steve laughs and thrusts his pelvis slightly. 

"Are you trying to tell me something?"

He laughs again, punctuated by a whine as you rise up a little to use your fingertips to drag along his inner thighs, slowly getting closer and closer to the base of his dick. "God, you are just so handsome, honey," you say as you finally move your fingers to gently stroke his shaft. He sighs at the relief of your touch.

"Mmm, yeah, I think my handsome strong man has waited long enough," and you lift his cock slightly from his pelvis with your hand so that you can lean forward to get your mouth around him. Steve cries out. He's too big and thick to take down completely, so you use your hand in concert with your lips and tongue. You switch between sucking him and pulling off so that you can continue whispering praises while your hand keeps stroking him gently. You only pause for a short moment in order to reach into your bedside drawer for the lube. You pour a little into your hand then return between his legs and start stroking him again in earnest but careful not to pull back too hard on his foreskin. Steve moans and whines and starts to murmur your name and whisper " _fuck_ " and " _jesus_." His hands have dropped to his sides where they clench, and you notice him moving them like he wants to reach out and touch you.

You lift off his cock again and continue stroking him with your hand. "Do you want to touch me, baby?" He nods, but you shake your head back. "Not yet. Not until I'm done with you, then I'm all yours," you tilt down to lick from his balls to the head, swirling your tongue, dipping it just inside his foreskin before sucking it hard for a moment, then pulling away to murmur, "and I can't wait for you to touch me."

 

There was a time when you weren't very good at this due to obsessing over how you looked and how loud and lewd all of the noises are. But now you know that in order to truly devote yourself to his cock the way he deserves, you need to set aside those worries. You are rewarded with the vision and feel of Steve falling apart. As he becomes more frantic, you suck hard then lift off completely, quickly and firmly moving your hand to bring him to finish. You considered letting him come in your mouth but also remembered his... volume, and resigned to the fact that it would be too much this time. Instead, you keep moving your hand over him, even as you feel your forearm begin to tense up from the strain of the repeated motion. You can't take your eyes away from face. Steve has been watching you intently the entire time you've been touching him, and now that he's so close to coming, his focus starts to waiver. His eyes lift away from you and flutter shut, but he keeps opening them again to try to keep watching you.

"You're so beautiful, baby," you whisper.

He cries out and tips his head back as he comes all over his abs in creamy white stripes.

You watch him, slowing your hand while marveling at how spectacular he looks, how amazing it is to see him let go. Your mind keeps chanting, _I did that, I got him to feel like that, I_ did _that._ You drag your eyes down from his face to his flushed chest and abs. You look at all of his cum streaked over his skin and run the tip of your finger through it before dipping down to lick up a stripe. 

"Babydoll, god," you hear him whisper breathlessly.

You sit up to look at him again and use your fingers to wipe around your mouth. He reaches with his hand to grab you at the back of your neck and pull your face down to his. You smile and kiss him with a closed mouth knowing that you taste like him, but he immediately uses his tongue to open you up and take your breath away. 

He pulls back and speaks against your lips, "My turn," then mouths his way from your cheek down to your collarbone.

"Steve!" you gasp.

As he pulls away, he asks, "Will you stand up for me, babydoll?"

You nod. You are still in all of your lingerie, and once you're standing, you take a moment to adjust and clasp all the parts that have fallen out of place. Steve sits on the side of the bed again and pulls you back between his legs.

"Do I still look like your perfect doll?" you ask with a little hesitance in your voice.

Steve moans and pulls you closer, against his chest with his arms wrapped around your waist. "Yes, you're still my perfect doll. Even your lipstick still looks good after all you just did."

"I spent the big bucks on this brand, glad it's paying off."

He huffs a laugh and sighs, pressing his face between your breasts. He murmurs into your skin, "God, baby, I'm still throbbing from you."

"So I did a good job?" you ask timidly.

Steve pulls away and looks up to your face. "So good that my original plan is not sufficient." He bends his head to breathe right against your bra. 

You giggle, "You do love a plan."

"Mmm," he murmurs, pushing his nose into your breast, "gonna make you come twice," then bites you through the satin.

You moan as he licks the fabric right over your nipple. "I thought I told you to be gentle with my new things."

Steve nods his agreement and takes one of his hands on your back to drag down to your ass, squeezing, then dipping his fingers under the elastic of your panties and right under the cheek. You bite your lip and stay focused on his face while moving one of your hands into his hair. He watches your response as he moves his fingers up and around your thigh, smirking when you gasp and tighten your hand on his head as he reaches the crux of your legs. He removes his fingers to drag over the cloth and pushes into your cunt. You've soaked the fabric, and he brings his fingers to his mouth to pass his tongue over them. 

"Steve," you sigh.

"That decides what I'm going to do first."

"Tell me."

Steve looks directly into your eyes, his gaze brazen and assured, "I'm going to take off all these beautiful things slowly and carefully. Then I'm going to lie you back on the bed, hold this luscious ass in my hands while I make you fall apart with my tongue. Before you've had a chance to settle, I'm going to hold you in my lap and fuck you so sweetly that you'll be begging me to come again. Then we'll take a hot shower, you'll fall asleep in my arms, and I'll wake you in the morning by kissing as much of your soft doll skin as I can."

As you've been listening to him, you've felt your heart start beating faster and harder, your face warming, and the desperate desire to press your hand to your pussy. Steve pulls your foot into his lap again and bends himself down to kiss up your thigh. He looks up at you and asks, "What do you think, baby?"

You moan, then tease, "I think you better get started if you plan to get through all that tonight."

He bites your thigh and his fingers go to your garter straps. "Yeah, I guess I better get started."

 

 

 

◆ ◆ ◆

 

 

  

The next morning, Steve is true to his word, and his soft kisses pull you gently from your slumber. You feel him lightly draw back the collar of your shirt from your neck before he places more kisses there. 

After your shower last night, you both put on a layer of clothes to sleep in, and almost as soon as Steve wrapped you into his arms to lay against his chest, you fell asleep. Now, the light through the bedroom blinds is bright but muted, suggesting a cloudy morning, and you lay on your back with your head turned towards him. His hand strokes your body while his mouth travels along your collarbone. 

"Good morning, honey."

He doesn't respond, just keeps kissing you, moving up your neck to the space under your ear. 

"Do you need to go for a run?"

You feel him shake his head against your skin followed by three quick kisses.

"Are you sure? I can get up and make us breakfast."

He turns so that you are pulled into his arms with your face against his chest. His body is so warm, and though firm, his hold is gentle. He holds you like he is conscious of every way your body is different from his, and he wants to take care of you and keep you safe. Even though he doesn't answer, you feel confident that the two of you won't be leaving heat of the blankets and each other anytime soon.

You're on the edge of sleep again when Steve speaks softly into your hair. "Bucky and I talked this week. Well, Bucky talked, I listened."

"Musta been tough for you, baby."

He gives you a squeeze. "He explained some things to me. Things he's learned while I haven't been here."

It's quiet for a moment while you digest what that could mean and Steve puts his thoughts together. The gentle strokes from Steve's hand on your back almost lull you to sleep.

"Bucky is very perceptive, and he put into words what I've noticed too."

You wait for him to continue rather than ask.

"You haven't been with people who return your love and care. They've taken advantage of you, and that's affected you. You've told us as much, but we didn't realize how deep it went." 

It's weird to hear him talk about you this way, to so plainly state that your previous partners haven't been that great and perhaps have even been toxic. Both of you are quiet for another minute, reflecting on what has been said so far. You feel a little better to be wrapped up in Steve's arms; it helps calm the anxiety simmering in your chest.

 

Steve continues, very quietly, "Bucky was furious with me for leaving last time."

"Why?" Your voice comes out much more amplified than you intended, and you speak much softer when you continue, "I understand why you had to go."

Steve kisses your temple. "He knows it's a very easy path from accepting your kindness and care to taking it for granted, and then, well, we won't be any better than those other men who've taken advantage of your heart."

"You guys are different."

There's a pause before he whispers, "Did you make excuses for them too?"

 

Steve must feel your body tense, because he quickly continues, stumbling on his own words. "I'm not— I'm not trying to make you feel bad but Bucky and I can both tell how big of an affect all of those men have made on you... we don't want to add to that."

You feel his arms flex as he embraces you tighter. You lay your head against his chest. He speaks so softly, but it is amplified in your ear. "You deserve to be treated in a way that doesn't make you feel like you need to make excuses for your partner. Partners, in our case."

"But, you're not just some guy with a desk job. You— you can't be here all the time, and," you swallow, "you'll have to leave when it's inconvenient. I should get used to that, right?"

Steve kisses your head. "You shouldn't always need to explain to yourself why I'm different even though I'm doing the same things."

You push away from him to hold yourself up over his chest and look directly at him. "You are different! You're different in the way that you talk to me, how you treat me and take care of me, how you hold me—"

Steve gently cuts you off and tugs you to lay down, "And that's what I want to do now. I just want to hold you. There's no rush to be any place but here, and I want to hold you in my arms, in this bed, for as long as I can."

"Honey..."

His arms pull you into his body as he kisses your temple and leaves his nose pressed into the skin there. "You are not just some girl I use to get off. You aren't. You... matter. To me." He takes a deep breath and slowly exhales while keeping his nose pressed to your temple, like he's savoring the feeling. He continues, now at a whisper. "I can't guarantee forever, but I can guarantee right now. I want to be here, with you, whenever I can. I don't want to leave. When I get called away, I want your mind to always remind you of this. When I can't be here with you for weeks or months, know that I'm thinking of you and wishing for the moment when I can hold you again."

 

With him so close, every word he's spoken vibrates through your skin, making it so much more real, so consuming that you've been unable to stop the silent tears falling from your eyes. You press your face into Steve's chest and he must feel the wet on his skin because he pulls away from you slightly. You don't immediately look up, instead trying to take a moment to compose yourself.

"Babygirl, look at me?"

You look up to see his face searching yours.

"Is this too much? Bucky says that I always make speeches at the worst times—"

"Oh honey, no, it's not too much but I just.. I—"

He leans to kiss from your cheek to your mouth where he keeps his touch gentle.

You pull away and whisper against his lips, "I love you, Steve. I love you so much and I don't know how I ended up here but I love you and think you are wonderful and I need you to know that and I'm sorry that my history makes me so challenging to be with, god, that you and Bucky have to deal with all my emotional shit and figure out how to be around me without me breaking down like some fragile doll and I'm even doing it now!—"

He cuts you off with his lips, kissing you fiercely and passionately, such an opposition to his touch only a minute ago. When he breaks away from you, he hardly pulls back, and his breath is warm against your face.

"Don't apologize. You're _my_ doll. My perfect beautiful doll, an amazing woman who is worth every moment."

"God, maybe you are too much," you say with a little laugh, tucking your face into his neck. 

"We'll figure it out. I'm going to do everything I can so that you are safe and you know how much you mean to me, how important you are to me and Bucky." He kisses your temple and pulls you into his chest again. He rubs your back then slides his hand down your leg and pulls it over his own and pushes his thigh between yours. You both shift a little more to maneuver your arms around each others necks and shoulders, and once settled, you sigh, happily and comfortably entwined within his limbs. 

 

 

For a perfect suspended moment, your hands continue to passively move over the other's body, a comforting and intimate reminder of everything you've shared this morning. Your heart feels relieved to have told Steve " _I love you"_  as well. You joke about having too many emotions, but ultimately, they're only hard to deal with when you are unable to express them. To be comfortable and safe enough to tell Steve how you feel about him gives you an amazing sense of comfort and relief.

After a while, Steve's hands start to move with more purpose, and he takes your thigh in one hand and uses the other arm wrapped around your back, hand slipped under your shirt, to pull you into his body from where you had slipped while you rested. His moan is smooth as silk before he whispers in your ear, "So soft, babydoll."

You sigh and murmur, almost as an aside, "I never would have guessed you as one for pet names like 'babygirl' and 'babydoll."

"Mmm, why not," he says, dragging his nose through the hair above your ear.

"Mr. Good Clean Fun and the American Way? Even I got a little fooled by that PR image before I met you." He pulls you into him again, lining you up against his body in every way. You let out a soft grunt in pleasure. "And before you doubt yourself, I fucking love it and do not want you to stop if you don't want to."

"Never really got the chance to call a girl 'babydoll' before the serum, and I really wanted to. Peggy wasn't the kinda girl you called 'babydoll.'" He pauses, "She was the one calling me those kinda names." You can hear the blush in his voice, then he laughs. "I think it was her affectionate reminder of who I was before the serum, when she first met me." He kisses your head. "I'm really glad you like it because I definitely do too."

"You dreamed of calling a girl cute names, and I dreamed of being called them. But only in a good way."

"Who'd call you names in a bad way?" he says, thinking you are joking. 

"You'd be surprised how often men think it's sexy to call a girl 'bitch' and 'slut' in bed."

_"What?!"_

"Yeah. I didn't ask for it, and I hated it," you reply softly.

 

He is quiet for a moment, processing. While he thinks, his hands knead over your skin, gripping tightly and possessively. "You know, with very few details, I can find those men and give them some trouble," he says smugly.

You shift in his arms to look up at his face. "You wouldn't!"

He laughs, "Okay, maybe I wouldn't, but Bucky's about one story away from going after all of them."

"Am I that much of a sob story?" you tease.

He laughs again, "No, he just wants to protect everyone he cares about. Natasha calls him a 'mama bear.'"

 

You giggle against his skin then place a few kisses on his chest before looking up into his eyes. "I started to call him 'honeybear' last weekend and I bet if I say it three times in a row I can get him to come from that alone."

Steve wets his lips. "I want to be there for that."

You turn your face back to his chest and drag your mouth up to his neck, then lick him, tracing a line with the tip of your tongue up to his ear. "But you're my honey. Sweet and golden," you say and take his earlobe between your teeth. 

Steve moans and once you let his ear go, he rolls so that he's on his back with you laying on top of him and your thighs around his hips. You prop yourself up on his chest with your forearms, and he moves his hands to the bottom of your ass to press you into him. His cock hardens under your pussy.

Steve starts to thrust up against you slowly, then he murmurs, so, so, softly, "Can I tell you what I like about your body?" 

He looks genuine so you know he's not teasing, but once you nod, his smile shifts into a smirk as he thrusts again. Your eyes involuntarily shut and you take a deep breath with the rush of pleasure that comes with his slow movements.

 

"Your eyes," he says. You open them again, having almost forgotten what he asked to do. "I can just look into your gorgeous eyes and know exactly how you feel," he pauses, "how much you love me."

You bite your lip and nod. He leans up to kiss you and pushes himself up into you again, this time more drawn out. You whimper into his mouth, and he smiles as he pulls back. 

After a moment staring at each other's affectionate smiles, he leans in again and lets his mouth rest against your cheek, breathing across your skin before pressing a soft kiss there. "Your blush," he whispers, "Your blush is so beautiful." He lifts away from your cheek to look into your eyes again, and on cue, you feel the apples of your cheeks flush. The intensity of his gaze and words have such a strong affect on you, and the fondness on his face grows. 

"Everyone always tells me how much they like my blush, and it always irritates me. I don't like being so obvious." His petulant tone makes you giggle, and he huffs a laugh in response. When he speaks again, his voice has dropped, "But you," he leans to kiss your jaw, up to your cheek and then to your ear, "I get it now, seeing your blush, knowing it's there because you're happy, or you're surprised, or you're," he sucks your earlobe and exhales against your skin, making you shiver, "hot for me, for Bucky. Your blush is perfect." When he falls back again, you let yourself collapse on his chest. He takes the opportunity to continue rubbing his dick between your legs.

"Steve," you whisper as your heart beats faster and your blush grows stronger. 

He sits up, shifting you off his chest and wrapping his arms around you so that you stay in his lap. You still love how he moves you around like a doll. You settle your arms around his shoulders and run one of your hands through his hair. He closes his eyes to enjoy the feeling, then dips his head to drag his nose along your jaw down your neck, where he presses his lips into your skin.

"Your neck," he murmurs, "I can fit my face here, just right, and kiss you as much as I want," then sucks your skin into his mouth causing you to gasp, "and feel your moan against my lips."

He keeps his attention focused on your neck, and every touch of his mouth makes you feel so aroused that you grind your hips in his lap. He pulls away to look at you with hooded eyes, then rolls forward until you are on your back with him above you at the foot of the bed. He lays a soft kiss to your lips before moving halfway down your body and pushing your shirt to bunch together just under your breasts.

"You're so soft," he whispers against your belly, rubbing his face there, then squeezing your sides, right at their chubbiest part. 

 

Your body insecurities throw you out of the moment. You shift uncomfortably under his hands, and Steve looks up over your chest with concern. 

"Babygirl, what's wrong?"

"You don't... you don't need to say that." No one has ever genuinely liked your body, especially not your chubby middle. _You_ don't even like your body that much.

"Why not?"

You look up at the ceiling, away from Steve's face. "I know I'm fat, you don't need to lie to me to make me feel better."

 

Steve shifts to look you straight on, and before you meet his gaze, you expect to see guilt; you're dumbfounded to instead see his eyebrows drawn together and mouth set straight in fierce determination. He says your name in a way that cuts through all your mental self-pity.

"When I tell you that I like something about you, I'm not _just saying_ it to make you feel better. I'm not here just because you feed me, or because you're nice, or because you make me laugh, or because you put up with all my shit. He grabs your squishy belly a little tighter. "I _like_ how you look. I _like_ how you feel, and I wish you would _trust me_ when I tell you that."

He keeps staring at you after he stops talking, searching your eyes for acceptance. You return his gaze as you take in what he said, and you realize he's right. You need to trust that he's not going to lie about how he feels about you. If he says it, you shouldn't question that he's speaking his truth.

"Ok, Steve," you say softly, looking him directly. "I'm sorry I didn't believe you. I let my insecurities doubt you and I won't do it again." You lean toward him, very slowly, hoping to kiss him but bracing yourself if he pulls away. It's such a relief when he doesn't, and you let your lips tenderly brush his. "I love you." You kiss him again, a little longer, and with a little more pressure. As you pull away, you feel his lips pucker back. "I trust you."

 

He keeps your focus for a long moment before finally relaxing and sighing in relief. "Good," he says with the tone of forgiveness. But then he smirks and uses his hand to rub along your side. "Because I'm not done telling you how much I like your body."

You giggle and whisper, "Will you tell me again, what you like about ... my belly?" 

"Mmm," he moans, shifting back to rub his face against your stomach, kissing you next to your belly button. "I like how soft you are." From there, he looks back up to you, lifting his eyebrow as he speaks. "Just because Bucky and I are all muscle doesn't mean you need to be, especially not for me to find you incredibly sexy," he purrs, then drags his nose up your chest. When he continues, his voice is hushed, "But the reason I like it because it's _you._ This is _your_ body and I like your body just as much as I like you." He smirks as he hovers above you again then leans to whisper in your ear, "which is _a lot_." He bites your earlobe, and you mew softly as he kisses his way back down your neck. He sits up a little and moves his hands under your shirt, shifting you around so that he can pull it off completely.

He takes a long look at your chest and groans. You keep waiting for him to say something, but he just stares and stares then bites his lip and reaches so he can grab your breasts with both hands, then he bends to suckle at your nipple. You whine in response and move your hands to his hair. 

As he moans his pleasure and licks you across your sensitive skin, you ask, "Do my tits make you speechless, baby?"

He huffs a laugh, then uses his teeth to tenderly pinch your nipple. You cry out, and he releases you immediately, but he has effectively shut down any teasing you had left. He moves to your other breast, running his tongue around the nipple and sucking it in earnest before he continues down your body, leaving a trail of kisses in his wake. He noses at your belly again, and this time you don't flinch or waver at his affection. When he gets to your panty line, he bites the elastic and pulls it back before releasing it to gently snap against your skin. He sits up completely and moves between your legs, pushing your thighs open with his knees.

 

"I also like your thighs," he says, squeezing them with his hands. "I like that whenever I pick you up, you wrap them around me. I like when we're laying together and your thigh is over mine. I like being wrapped up by your body. And I like the way they open for me when I sit here, between them."

When he pushes his fingers under your underwear at the top of your left thigh, you shiver in reaction, and he whispers to himself, "Love how sensitive you are." He drags his fingers to the top of the underwear to hook them inside the cloth and pull the panties off. It's a little awkward to remove them while he sits between your legs, but with a little maneuvering, you are laid bare before him.

 

He takes his time looking at all of you. You push down every impulse to hide yourself, instead watching his eyes track over your skin and how his chest starts to expand and contract at a faster rate as just the sight of your naked body increases his arousal. Eventually, his gaze settles on the crux between your legs. He draws two fingers up your leg to the short hairs surrounding your cunt and swiftly bends and lays flat so that his face is right between your thighs.

"Mmm, and then," he murmurs, taking a deep breath and nosing between the folds near your clit, "there's your beautiful, perfect, _wet_ pussy." 

His shoulders are so big that you feel them on the insides of your thighs, stretching your legs wider. He draws back far enough that you can see him look at your legs splayed to his sides. "Put them over my shoulders, baby."

With your knees hooked over his shoulders, Steve props himself up on his elbows, grinning his satisfaction at the position with his face so close to your cunt. His fingers part your folds, and he uses the tip of his tongue on your lips. 

"Babydoll, it makes me so hard every time I look at you and see how wet you are." He pauses to lick you, his tongue dragging flat over your sex. He groans and continues, "How much you want me, and god, the way you pulse and clench around me when I make you come." He licks you again.

"Baby, your _tongue_ ," you croon.

"Mmm, I like knowing how good I make my girl feel too," he says against you, the rumble of his voice on your sensitive skin creating a buzz more intimate than a vibrator. Your legs squeeze around his head and he moans in response, making you feel even better as he continues to lick. 

You wiggle in his firm hold and beg, "I want you so bad, honey."

He sucks on your clit, and you cry out as your body shakes from his mouth. You can't help but whine at the absence of his touch when he moves away from you, but then you watch as he takes off his briefs. The head of his cock is flushed red, and you press your hand to your clit when you see how big and hard he is. He uses his hand to give himself a few firm pulls. When you drag your eyes back up to his face, he stares at you with an open hunger.

"You want me right now, babygirl?" he says, his voice almost absent of a questioning tone as he continues to move his hand up and down his cock, running it over the head to spread the precum over his thick length. You nod and whine, and he slowly kneels between your legs, leaning forward to put his hands at the side of your shoulders. He moves to hover over your body, his mouth right above yours. You feel like you might burst from anticipation as he lets his cock rest between your legs and starts to move it through your folds. Your arousal coats him, letting him glide effortlessly against you. 

You run your hands over his shoulders, letting them squeeze his firm muscles that shift against your touch as he holds himself over you. He leans down as if to kiss you, but keeps himself a sliver away from your lips.

"Tell me again, tell me you want me," he breathes.

You moan and move one of your hands to his nape, scratching your fingers through the short hairs and enjoying the way his face relaxes at your touch. You could never be strong enough to move him if he wanted to stay put, so you love how easily he moves when you pull him that last tiny distance forward so that you can whisper against his ear. You press a kiss to his skin, then let yourself breathe there before speaking. "Steve," you whisper, rolling your hips so that his dick presses right against your clit, "Don't make me wait any longer, honey, I want you inside me."

He groans, loud and long as he falls back onto his knees, pulls you forward with one hand and uses the other to hold his cock against your entrance. He looks you in the eyes as he keeps the tip pressed there.

"Please, baby," you urge.

You both moan in concert as he enters you completely.

 "You feel amazing, babygirl." He holds himself deep inside you for moment, alternating his pose so that he can use his arms to wrap your thighs around his waist. Once you are positioned the way he likes, he hums and glides smoothly out and in.

"My beautiful girl, my beautiful perfect girl, taking my cock so well."

"Love the way your cock fills me up honey, so hard and thick."

He groans and thrusts faster, then leans to kiss you, and you take the opportunity to bite his bottom lip. When he pulls away, his eyes are hooded and full of heat as he holds your hips and plunges his cock into you again and again.

"You fit around me like a glove, babydoll. So warm and soft."

"Steve," you whine. You reach your face up to his, silently pleading for another kiss. Without hesitation, he gives you what you want, sucking and licking and biting as his thrusts stay steady and relentless. He shifts so that he pushes you forward and uses one hand to hold himself up. Your thighs fall off of his waist and you let them lay wide open so that his pelvis thrusts flat against you. 

"Honey, baby, I'm so close!"

"My perfect doll," he purrs, moving the hand not holding himself up to squeeze your breast and pinch your nipple. "So good for me," he says as that hand travels down to your clit. He presses his fingers against you, making your brain frantically rush toward your release. In the few breaths before you come, he dips his mouth next to your ear and whispers, "You know what else I like about your body?"

Between a whimper and a whine, you shake your head.

He thrusts and holds himself inside you. "That little gasp you make just before you come," and he presses his fingers in a circle around your clit and pulls out to slam right back in.

You gasp and come, and can feel Steve's smile against your neck before he kisses and bites his way up and down the span of skin, all while he continues to pound into you. As your orgasm keeps going, you chant his name in time with the pulse after pulse of your channel around his cock. You move against the bed with each thrust, sliding back and forth on the sheets all around you, breasts swaying with the rocking motion from his powerful body. As your orgasm decrescendos, your body stays heightened and thrumming. You look up at Steve's face to see him completely debauched and on the edge. You have a desperate desire to give him everything, to return every ounce of pleasure he has bestowed to you, and your most primal self takes over. You purr, "What part of my body do you want to mark the most, baby?"

He moans and squeezes his eyes shut as his thrusts get faster. After another moment, he grunts, "Tits."

You grin and push your breasts together with your upper arms. "Then come on my tits, honey."

He opens his eyes again and nods quickly as he pulls out and leans back to his knees, then you watch him take himself in hand and move quickly over his cock. His back arches and head tips back toward the ceiling as he cries out and starts paints your breasts and stomach with cum. You croon " _Yes yes, baby yes,_ " as his clouded gaze returns to your body and his cock continues to coat your skin with his release.

 

You straighten your legs out a little, letting the muscle tension relax with the rest of you. Steve's face watches yours with an entranced look, and his hand gently drops his softening cock. He slumps himself a little to rub his hands up and down your thighs, covering another part of your skin with his cum.

You softly whisper " _I love you_ ," and Steve's smile shines back before his gaze drops to look at your cum-covered chest. A deep sense of satisfaction rushes through you when he drags his forefinger across your breast, right through a stripe of his release, and holds it to your mouth. There's enough on his finger that it starts to form a drip, and before it can fall, you suck it from the tip of his finger between your lips, looking up at him with every ounce of adoration that you feel. 

 

Cum doesn't necessarily taste _good,_ but the part of your brain that processes taste is overridden by the fact that you are tasting _Steve_ in this carnal and sensual way. After you have licked him from his finger, you run your thumb through another stripe of cum and suck that clean while you keep his gaze. You want nothing more than to consume all the proof that you have brought him pleasure. 

 

Steve stares at you and pants. You can't believe that he's in any way exhausted, but you preen from knowing that you are the cause. You must visibly show your pride, because he beams back and leans down to give you the softest kiss as he carefully lowers himself to your side and leaves his arm wrapped around your waist. The two of you lay looking at each other, smiling and exchanging light and sweet kisses until your heartbeats return to normal and the sweat on your skin has cooled. 

 

 

 

 

◆ ◆ ◆

 

 

 

 

"So, you met my friends."

 

You pause, holding a soapy bowl in your hands. As promised, you made Steve waffles for breakfast, and he devoured enough for a family of four. You sat right next to him at the table, having moved your chair from the opposite side, and after your own normal portion of waffles, you watched him eat with your chin held in your palm. When Steve got up to stand in front of the sink, you bumped him with your hip so that he moved aside. After about thirty seconds of a speech on the importance of shared housework and domestic responsibility, you press a dish towel in his hands and turn back to the sink to get the water hot. The two of you have been washing quietly, shoulder to shoulder (well, bicep to shoulder), enjoying the sounds of the neighborhood out your kitchen window. 

You sigh. You knew this talk was coming, but you're still not ready for it now that he started. "I did. They were here a few months ago."

"Bucky already berated them about stopping by without any advance notice. We both thought they'd at least get a message through HELEN to you."

"They did not."

Steve sighs. "I'm sorry."

"What for?"

"That must have been uncomfortable. I'm not happy that they ambushed you."

"I think it was all a part of their interrogation plan."

He sighs again, this time more forcefully. You turn off the water and wipe your hands with the ends of the towel Steve's holding, then you set the cloth aside and hold his hands. 

"I won't lie. It was stressful and I was a bundle of anxiety the whole time, especially since I had wanted so much for them to like me. But," you exhale, "I'm over it. That was a while ago, and I understand why they did it now."

Steve's eyebrows are scrunched together and there is a downward turn to the corner of his mouth. "Still sorry."

You rise up on your toes to kiss the corner of his mouth on the side that's grimacing. "Apology accepted." You kiss the other side of his mouth, and feel Steve's lips chase yours. "I love you." You pull back to look at him with a small smile on your face as you take in his. Steve starts to relax, and as he forms a smile, he leans in to kiss your forehead. You step the remainder of the way against his body and slip your arms around his waist. As he wraps you in his arms, you nuzzle his pec with your nose.

 

His touch helps alleviate the flare of anxiety when he quietly asks, "What did you think of Natasha?"

You think carefully before you answer. "She's fierce and loyal."

"You don't have to say nice things about her, I won't be mad at you."

You give him a look out of the side of your eye. "Is this a trap?"

He laughs, "No, I really wanna know what you think of her."

"She was mean and rude."

Steve laughs again, a fully belly laugh that makes you feel a little foolish. He leans into you and buries his face into your neck. "Can I tell her you said that," he says between laughs.

"No! Then she'll really hate me!"

"She doesn't hate you."

"She does! She thinks I'm weak and stupid for wanting to be with you and Bucky."

"She said you remind her of me, which means you are definitely not weak."

"But probably stupid."

"Hey!" he says, more of a guffaw. You smile back but have difficulty removing the worry from your eyes.

"Natasha has spent her entire life, literally, her _entire_ life, learning how to read people and find their weaknesses. She gets frustrated with genuine and honest people because we are too damn easy to read."

 

"They thought I was a spy or something, right? That I was trying to get information from you?"

"Well, that's the thing, you were so damn honest that they now realize how wrong they were to be suspicious of it."

"Because I'm not."

"You're not."

"I'm just an idiot who loves you both."

He nudges you so you look up at him. "Not an idiot," he says with a kind finality. He leans and kisses your temple, holding his lips against your skin. 

You both turn back to the sink and resume washing.

 

A few minutes later, with your voice at a level just above the rush of water from the spout, you say, "I just... I really wanted your friends to like me."

Steve's response is full of warmth. "Sam likes you. Sharon likes you."

"But Natasha doesn't."

"It's not that she doesn't like you, it's that she hasn't spent a lot of time around someone like you. There's a difference, just like how you aren't sure how to act around her."

"How could I make it easier for her? So that she'll—" you cut yourself off.

"So that she'll like you?" Steve chides your name. "You can't make everyone like you."

"I know, but she's your best friend, I feel like I should at least try to get her to like me."

"If I'm not worried about what Natasha thinks of you, then you shouldn't be worried either."

You must make a face, because Steve laughs at you again and bumps you with his hip. "If it makes you feel any better, she didn't like me for at least six months of knowing me, and I have the whole Cap thing in my favor."

"So it doesn't bother you that she doesn't think you should keep seeing me?"

"When I asked her to give me her reasons, they were either things I was already aware of or things that made me like you even more."

"Like what?"

"Well, she pointed out that you can't defend yourself—"

"Ugh."

" —and you have no self-preservation instinct."

"What does that even mean?" you moan exasperatedly. 

"Well, turning off the cameras in the bedroom is a good example."

"They're back on! And it felt weird to have them on in the same place where I sleep and dress and masturbate!"

Steve snorts. "They aren't moderated in the way you think they are, baby. As an A.I., HELEN does not care what you do, she just observes. Anyway, Natasha would gauge out the eyes of anyone who watched them without your consent."

This throws you off. "Without my consent? Who would ask to watch them with it?"

"Me."

 

You freeze, and the water streams over your still hands. "Why?"

His hand brushes past your arm as he turns off the spout. He turns you to face him and wipe your hands with a towel while a blush spreads over his cheeks. "If given the chance to watch my babydoll get herself off, maybe even whispering my name while she does?" He might not have intended to take the conversation here, but he isn't backing off. "That's tailor-made porn." You watch him fully realize what he said and look a little worried as he rushes to add, "But only with your consent. I haven't watched anything."

 

An awareness dawns in your mind. "Steve? ... Are you a little bit of a perv?" Your eyes widen as you watch him flush even redder but he does not deny your tease.

 

You are into it. 

You put your hands on his chest and let your fingers drag across the cloth stretched over his pecs. "What if, instead of watching surveillance, I send you videos?"

He takes a sharp breath. "You wanna send me videos, baby?"

"Maybe pictures too... Our phones are secure, right?" You look up to confirm.

"Yeah, they are."

"I mean," you become bashful again, turning your face a little away from his heated gaze, "ones that I send you will probably be better anyway... more close up, more personalized..."

"Only what you feel comfortable sending me, but I'd like that."

"Will you send me some too?" you ask quietly, looking back at his chest again.

"You want some dick pics from me, baby?" he teases, and you laugh in return, pressing your face into him.

"Yes," you say, muffled by his shirt. "You've got a really good-looking dick, honey."

Steve lifts you by the thighs onto the counter and presses his open mouth against yours. 

 

You realize, as you take turns sucking on the other's lower lip, that you haven't actually spent a lot of time making out with Steve without it immediately leading to sex – which is a shame, because he is very good at this. Bucky lets you set the pace, preferring to slow down for a long burn. Steve dominates, much like he does in so many other ways. But even given your slight lack of experience, you have learned that you can always reel him back by gently grabbing the hair at the top of his neck or at the crown of his head. He usually groans deep in his chest when you do.

While he drags his lips down your neck, nipping and sucking and making you moan and whine, it is very easy to remember why it usually leads to sex. Steve is a wildfire that is almost impossible to put out at full flame; might as well let him run his course and give you an orgasm or two while he's at it. 

 

However, you still have things you want to know, and you both are close to losing the topic completely, so with his mouth busy, you take the opportunity to speak. "Honey, are you trying to distract me?"

"Mmm, why would I do that?" he murmurs against your throat, right under your jaw.

"I wanna know what Natasha said that made you like me more."

Steve laughs and nips your skin then pulls back to grin at you. His hair stands on end in patches all over his head and his eyes are a little dopey with satisfaction. 

Debauched is a really good look on him.

"She kept telling me about how stubborn you were, and I could picture your face." He lights up. "Imagining you standing up to Natasha like that for me and Bucky... well, I like that a lot."

"I bet Natasha didn't like that her reasons were having the opposite effect."

"She knew exactly what I would think but wanted to tell me anyway for her own conscious."

"Is she that concerned about it all?"  


"Yes and no," he pauses then, considering. "She's not necessarily concerned about you— you don't mean anything to her. Except, now you kinda do, through two of her closest friends." He chuckles, "She'd never admit this, but she's mad about it. Natasha _hates_ adding more names to her 'People I Have to Worry About' List."

You hop down from the counter and turn back to the sink. It's good that you have Steve's help because this standard chore is already taking three times the normal amount to complete, since he is the reason for the delays. 

"I'm glad you have someone like that looking out for you."

"Me too," he says.

And as you rinse away the soap from the very last cup, you experience a small release, a months-long tense chord falling free like it had been held together by nothing but a bunny loop. You hand the cup to Steve, who brushes his fingers along yours as he takes the cup. 

 

You grab another towel to dry your hands and hear the clink of the glass in the cabinet. When you turn back to Steve, he smiles and asks, "Alright, what's next?"

 

◆ ◆ ◆

 

Steve drives you to the plant nursery and makes a big point of carrying all of your heavy items on the way out. You tease him for being too obvious, but he just smirks and puts another bag of soil over his shoulder. He insists that you do all of the errands you would run on a regular Sunday afternoon, so the grocery store is the next stop. Steve pushes the cart and listens to you talk about your meal-prep plan, then proceeds to pay for the entire purchase; you fight it at first, but he argues that for all the food you've provided him and Bucky, he should be doing it more often anyway.

 

◆ ◆ ◆

 

Steve gets excited when he realizes you've stopped at a little Italian deli for lunch. The family who owns it are all really nice and always remember your order. Steve orders three sandwiches for himself, and they tease you about finally getting a good strong boy to feed. Steve smiles and wraps his arm around you.

After a few bites of the first sandwich, he mumbles, "Damn, this is just as good my deli in Brooklyn."

"New York isn't the only place with good food, Steve!" you tease in fake outrage.

"Sorry," he says, contrite, "it's the asshole New Yorker in me."

"And _what_ an asshole he is. I forgive you."

 

Back home, Steve helps you put away all of your groceries and then heads outside to start gardening. You have a few big plants you want to re-pot, and you proceed to live a domestic fantasy as Steve gets sweaty from working in the sun and dirty from the soil that ends up all over his arms and face. 

The best part is that you feel no impulse to act on the fantasy. There's no urgency to be physical together due to a little arousal, and it's not just because of your general exhaustion. You bask in the confidence that he will return and you will absolutely have the chance to do it again. 

You and Steve stay so busy with the task that it's a complete surprise when HELEN pings you from your phone and says, "Pardon the interruption, but Captain Rogers has an appointment that will begin in 60 minutes at a location 45 minutes away."

There is a brief comedic moment where Steve is frozen, staring at his hands buried wrist-deep in potting soil. He looks over to you with a flustered expression. "I didn't finish!"

That's certainly not what you thought he'd be panicked about. "Don't worry about it!" you say through a laugh.

"I should have kept better track of the time."

"You're usually better about that too!"

"Well, my girl kept bending over and giving me a good view, I was distracted."

You want nothing more than to kiss the smirk off his face. "Nuh-uh, you don't get to use my ass as an excuse!"

 

He decides to leave his suit from last night behind, not wanting to waste time on packing it up. Steve hops into the shower to rinse off while you do your best to make him a to-go dinner. You hear the shower stop, then a few thumps and a loud clatter, followed by a quiet " _shit_." When you go to check on him in the bathroom, you see all of your shower things in the bottom of the bathtub. Steve gives you a sheepish look and you laugh. 

"God, you're a mess. I love you. Just keep getting ready."

He kisses you quickly as he walks past to your bedroom.

Another strange sign of how you've adjusted to this new level of intimacy with Steve is how you aren't utterly speechless at the sight of him dripping wet with just a little towel wrapped around his waist.

"Steve, I want you to know it's taking all of my willpower not to drop to my knees in front of you right now."

"Babygirl, if Commander Maria Hill wasn't running this meeting, I'd be skipping it and taking you up on that offer."

"Commander Hill must be quite important."

"She'd make my life miserable if I missed this meeting for a blowjob," he says, then looks at you with a smirk, "as enticing as that blowjob is. She's like a bureaucratic Natasha."

"That's terrifying."

Steve is bouncing around your room, getting both legs into his jeans, apparently foregoing underwear and struggling to get the cloth to move since he's still a little damp. He grabs one of your stretchy t-shirts from your closet. "Do you mind if I borrow this?"

You feel giddy to be sharing clothes. "Not at all, will it fit?"

He stretches it a little. "Eh."

It stretches obscenely over his pecs and biceps. 

"I'll throw my leather jacket over it, it'll be fine. HELEN, how much time do I have?" he asks as he walks toward the front door.

"Negative two minutes."

You grab his packed dinner from the kitchen and rush to meet him at the door.

"I'm so sorry I have to leave like this, baby. I was planning to kiss you goodbye for at least a minute."

You giggle. "You are so ridiculous. You can kiss me hello for two minutes next time."

He smiles and leans forward to give you a light kiss. 

"Thank you for a perfect date, Steve."

"Can't wait for the next one, babygirl."

"I love you, honey."

 

He leans forward to kiss you again, lingering a little longer. He doesn't say it in return, but it doesn't bother you. Not with the way he looks at you before he turns away to leave; you know you aren't imagining the passion and care you see there.

 

When he looks back at you one last time once he's inside the car, you act on an impulse and blow him a kiss, and with a smile so genuine it borders cheesy, he grabs the imaginary affection and slaps it to his cheek. 

You're giggling so much that you barely wave goodbye.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> person: so what's your fantasy?  
> me: waking up with someone i care about, having an intense and emotional conversation then at least two rounds of sex.  
> person: that's sappy  
> me: well i'm a big sap!
> 
> \---
> 
> I know I say it every chapter, but I am just so thankful to those of you who have left comments and kudos. I reread the comments often, especially when I'm feeling blue or unproductive. So again, thank you. <3


	12. Interlude - Modern Letters

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> something a little different, but i hope you like it :)
> 
> i wanted to make this chapter as accessible as possible, so there are no actual imbedded images. emojis are Slack-style as text enclosed in colons. (also, i don't know how to imbed images lol)

 

 

 

 

Steve  
>> 9:15pm     Good morning

Outgoing  
<< 9:16pm     you’re sweet  
<< 9:17pm     and i know you know what time it is here bc bucky told me you keep our time zones in your phone’s clock app

Steve  
>> 9:19pm     ;)

Outgoing  
<< 9:20pm     :P

 

Steve  
>> 6:40am     good morning

Outgoing  
<< 6:49am     :heart:

 

 

 

 

Bucky  
>> 2:12pm     [IMG_0588]  
>> 2:12pm     :dog: :dog: :dog:

Outgoing   
<< 2:16pm     !!!! so cute!!!!!  
<< 2:17pm     oh and steve too :wink:

Bucky  
>> 2:23pm     the only puppy eyes that will defeat steve’s are actual puppy eyes

 

 

 

 

Bucky  
>> 3:37pm     can i call 2nite :night_with_stars:

Outgoing  
<< 3:59pm     sure! what time

Bucky  
>> 4:02pm     8 your time

Outgoing  
<< 4:03pm     perf

Bucky  
>> 4:45pm     have Birds of America handy :sob: :heart_eyes: :dancer:

Outgoing  
<< 4:48pm     yes! book club :books: :nerd_face:

 

 

 

 

Steve  
>> 5:48am     [IMG_0265]  
>> 5:48am     the world’s deadliest assassin

Outgoing  
<< 6:10am     a snoozing terror. is that drool?

Steve  
>> 6:11am     and pillow creases

Outgoing  
<< 6:12am     :heart_eyes:

 

 

 

 

Outgoing  
<< 8:59pm     is it okay for me to send you pictures? pictures where i maybe don’t have all my clothes on?

Bucky  
>> 9:05pm     abso fucking lutely  
>> 9:06pm     want me to send you some too?

Outgoing  
<< 9:06pm     yes please  
<< 9:07pm     i know it’s weird to ask but it’s better to be sure, right?

Bucky  
>> 9:09pm     asking is never weird or wrong, baby  
>> 9:10pm     now show me those beautiful titties i miss so much

Outgoing  
<< 9:15pm     [IMG_5689]

Bucky  
>> 9:16pm     [IMG_0601] :sweat_drops: :tongue:  
>> 9:17pm     get out that toy i know you got in your nightstand  
>> 9:17pm     the thick one

Outgoing  
<< 9:18pm     what else do you want me to do, honeybear?

Bucky  
>> 9:19pm     i want you to think about me  
>> 9:19pm     imagine its me  
>> 9:19pm     and send me a pic of your face when you’re done  
>> 9:20pm     [IMG_0602] look what you do to me baby, just knowin ur thinkin bout me

Outgoing  
<< 9:22pm     [IMG_5690]

Bucky  
>> 9:23pm     god you’re gorgeous. wish i coulda put that look on your face myself  
>> 9:23pm     [IMG_0603]

Outgoing  
<< 9:25pm     where are u?

Bucky  
>> 9:25pm     home. next 2 steve on the couch

Outgoing  
<< 9:26pm     lol omg bucky

Bucky  
>> 9:27pm     don’t worry, he’s enjoying the show too :smirk:  
>> 9:28pm     [IMG_0604] he says hi

Outgoing  
<< 9:29pm     you should clean him up, darling. he’s all messy now

Bucky  
>> 9:30pm     you know how much he likes being messy

 

 

 

 

Steve  
>> 7:34pm     Tell me about your day, baby

Outgoing  
<< 7:36pm     idk it was a pretty normal day

Steve  
>> 7:38pm     Tell me all of it anyway  
>> 7:39pm     Are you free to talk now?

_Outgoing Call_

 

 

 

 

Steve  
>> 2:55pm     babygirl, blue or gray  
>> 2:55pm     [IMG_0270]  
>> 2:55pm     [IMG_0271]

Outgoing  
<< 3:01pm     honey, i am at WORK and you are practically sending me PORN  
<< 3:01pm     you know how much i love how you look in a suit  
<< 3:02pm     blue

Steve  
>> 3:07pm     i’ll send more later ;)

>> 9:55pm     [IMG_0274]  
>> 9:56pm     [IMG_0275]

Outgoing  
<< 9:59pm     both of you?! **dead**

Steve  
>> 10:01pm     [IMG_0277]

Outgoing  
<< 10:02pm     god, even better from the back :peach: :peach:

 

Outgoing  
<< 11:37pm     time for a little retaliation  
<< 11:38pm     [IMG_5709] 5  
<< 11:38pm     [IMG_5711] 4

Steve  
>> 11:41pm     babydoll

Bucky  
>> 11:41pm     fuck you look good

Outgoing  
<< 11:42pm     [IMG_5712] 3  
<< 11:42pm     [IMG_5715] 2

Bucky  
>> 11:44pm     sweetheart i’m dyin  
>> 11:46pm     do we get 1??

Outgoing  
<< 11:47pm     say please

Steve  
>> 11:48pm     [IMG_0280] please

Outgoing  
<< 11:49pm     [IMG_5716] 1  
<< 11:49pm     [IMG_5718] :kiss:  
<< 11:50pm     miss you <3

Bucky  
>> 11:51pm     :sweat_drops: :sweat_drops: :sweat_drops:  
>> 11:51pm     miss you too babydoll

Steve  
>> 11:52pm     [IMG_0281]

Outgoing  
<< 11:54pm     steve, next time i'm doing that with my mouth ;)

Bucky  
>> 11:55pm     HEY STEVIE WHY DON'T YOU SEND ME DICK PICS

Steve  
>> 11:57pm     if you sent me a strip tease I'd consider it

 

 

 

 

Outgoing  
<< 2:45pm     could we talk tonight? on the phone?  
<< 2:47pm     if you're busy i completely understand

Steve  
>> 3:49pm     of course we can

Outgoing  
<< 3:50pm     ok 

Bucky  
>> 3:55pm     how about 7 your time? 3-way call  
>> 4:00pm     everything okay, sweetheart?

Outgoing  
<< 4:07pm     yeah, i just had a really bad day and need someone to talk to

Bucky  
>> 4:10pm     do you need me to kill anyone

Outgoing  
<< 4:11pm     not this time, thank u baby

 

 

 

 

Steve  
>> 6:01pm     [IMG_0289] [IMG_0291]  
>> 6:02pm     Bucky kept the drawing of you sleeping, which is good because I really like how the drawing of you laughing turned out  
>> 7:10pm     Do you like them? I don't think I could ever capture the way your eyes sparkle when you're happy but it was nice to sketch a portrait again

Outgoing  
<< 7:12pm     i don't know what to say  
<< 7:12pm     no one's ever sketched me before  
<< 7:13pm     not even one of those state fair artists  
<< 7:15pm     you made me look so pretty

Steve  
>> 7:16pm     because you are

Outgoing  
<< 7:45pm     could you draw one for me someday? of you and bucky?

Steve  
>> 7:46pm     I'd love to

 

 

 

 

Outgoing  
<< 3:20am     can i ask you a very personal question

Bucky  
>> 3:31am     of course, sweetheart

Outgoing  
<< 3:36am     how do you deal with really intense nightmares

_Bucky is typing…_

_Bucky is typing…_

Bucky  
>> 3:49am     my nightmares have always been tied to my trauma. i can’t get rid of the nightmares because i’ll never be able to erase what i went through  
>> 3:51am     my therapist and psychiatrist both told me that i’d have to talk about it. about what i remember. what i did.  
>> 3:55am     i didn’t do that for a long time, so my nightmares were constant  
>> 3:59am     stopped sleeping for a while. could go few days with nothing more than an hour nap  
>> 4:00am     eventually started talking it out. eventually started to sleep better.  
>> 4:05am     you wanna tell me about it?

Outgoing  
<< 4:11am     i didn’t mean to equate my nightmares with yours, i’m sorry  
<< 4:12am     i feel stupid for asking  
<< 4:13am     it wasn’t even scary now that i think about it

Bucky  
>> 4:15am     if i promise that i’m not offended or mad at you for asking, will you tell me what it was about?

Outgoing  
<< 4:16am     ok  
<< 4:21am     i dreamt that i was kidnapped. i don’t know who they were, but i know they had me for a few days. natasha rescued me. she was frustrated with me when she did. i can’t remember exactly, but i think it was so easy for her to do that she was mad i didn’t save myself  
<< 4:24am     i asked her where you guys were and she said you were busy on a different mission  
<< 4:26am     and i just, didn’t hear from you guys. i woke up feeling so empty

_Bucky is typing…_

Bucky  
>> 4:30am     thank you for telling me sweetheart  
>> 4:30am     pretty sure that counts as a terrifying nightmare  
>> 4:31am     i wanna tell you something and i’m not belittling your dream or anything

Outgoing  
<< 4:32am     what is it?

Bucky  
>> 4:34am     if you are in danger, nothing short of death will stop me from coming to get you  
>> 4:35am     okay?

Outgoing  
<< 4:37am     ok

Bucky  
>> 4:38am     same goes for steve  
>> 4:39am     and i know he feels that way too because we’ve talked about this  
>> 4:40am     so the next time your brain tries to scare you into thinking we don’t care, you remember that, ok?

Outgoing  
<< 4:43am     ok  
<< 4:43am     i love you so much

Bucky  
>> 4:44am     :heart:  
>> 4:45am     try to get some sleep, okay baby?  
>> 4:45am     call me tomorrow when you can  
>> 4:45am     today, that is

Outgoing  
<< 4:46am     ok i will, thank you for talking to me darling

Bucky  
>> 4:47am     always, sweetheart

 

 

 

 

Steve  
>> 9:04pm     Baby, I need you to settle something  
>> 9:04pm     Which Brooklyn Nine-Nine character am I most like?

Bucky  
>> 9:05pm     steve thinks he knows himself better than me

Outgoing  
<< 9:06pm     oh steve, you're an Amy for sure

Bucky  
>> 9:06pm     HA  
>> 9:07pm     i’m a rosa, right

Outgoing  
<< 9:07pm     def

Steve  
>> 9:08pm     I'm not organized enough to be an Amy!

Outgoing  
<< 9:09pm     ok, that might be true, but you are Amy in every other way  
<< 9:10pm     especially your jokes and dancing style  
<< 9:11pm     ;)  
<< 9:13pm     and your passion and intelligence and drive

Bucky  
>> 9:16pm     and your stubbornness  
>> 9:16pm     and appreciation for sunday crosswords

Steve  
>> 9:18pm     Alright, you've proved your point.

Outgoing  
<< 9:19pm     Amy is amazing and the team would fall apart without her. it's good to be an Amy <3

 

 

 

 

Outgoing  
<< 9:15pm     would you like to see what i wore for steve on our last date or save it for our next one?

Bucky  
>> 9:17pm     both

Outgoing  
<< 9:22pm     [IMG_5740]

Bucky  
>> 9:22pm     i’m gonna peel those off you with my TEETH  
>> 9:23pm     how did Steve not destroy those

Outgoing  
<< 9:24pm     i made him be gentle

Bucky  
>> 9:27pm     i don’t think i can be as gentle as he was, babydoll

Outgoing  
<< 9:28pm     i'm gonna ruin them right now if you keep talking like that

Bucky  
>> 9:29pm     take them off for me sweetheart, and i’ll keep talking anyway

Outgoing  
<< 9:32pm     [IMG_5741]

_Incoming Call_

 

 

 

 

Steve  
>> 8:01pm     Hey babygirl, we're leaving for a mission tomorrow that will probably last a couple weeks  
>> 8:03pm     Hopefully not longer than that, but we won't be able to talk to you while we’re away

Outgoing  
<< 8:06pm     ok honey, thank you for letting me know  
<< 8:07pm     please take care of each other

Bucky  
>> 8:10pm     i always do  
>> 8:13pm     we’ll be thinking of you, sweetheart

Steve  
>> 8:14pm     Remember you can check in with HELEN anytime you want to know our status  
>> 8:15pm     She might not be able to give you much, but she'll at least be able to report that we're uninjured

Bucky  
>> 8:16pm     even if we do get injured, just remember we’ll heal fast

Outgoing  
<< 8:20pm     <3 <3 <3 love you

 

 

_"HELEN, can you tell me how Bucky and Steve are doing on their mission?"_

_"I can report that they are both uninjured, but I do not have any further information."_

_"Thank you, HELEN."_

 

 

Steve  
>> 3:56am     We're back, baby

Outgoing  
<< 6:01am     <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 i'm so glad

 

 

Outgoing  
<< 2:45pm      honey! i saw the press conference and i don't know how you put up with that asshole reporter  
<< 2:46pm      he was exceptionally rude and invasive and you were so strong to not punch him in the face

Steve  
>> 2:59pm      thanks baby

Bucky  
>> 2:49pm      i think i would have if i’d been in the same room

Outgoing  
<< 3:01pm     bucky, don't let him get all in his head about it

Bucky  
>> 3:03pm     don’t worry, i’ll take care of our boy for you

Outgoing  
<< 3:05pm     <3 <3 <3 :kissy_face:

 

 

 

 

Outgoing  
<< 10:55pm     [IMG_5767]  
<< 10:55pm     wish you were here :sparkling_heart:

Steve  
>> 10:59pm     You wouldn't be going to sleep if we were

Outgoing  
<< 11:00pm     :kissy_face:

Steve  
>> 11:05pm     Soon, babygirl

Bucky  
>> 11:10pm     real soon

Outgoing  
<< 11:11pm     :kissing_heart: :kissing_heart: :eggplant:

Bucky  
>> 11:14pm     :stuck_out_tongue: :taco: :sweat_drops: :point_right: :ok_hand: :peach:

Outgoing  
<< 11:15pm     omg bucky

Bucky  
>> 11:16pm     think about me tonight, sweetheart

Outgoing  
<< 11:17pm     how could i not

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i know these little interludes aren't the same as a 16k+ chapter of feelings and porn, but i don't like going months without posting anything at all, and i've been collecting little texts i thought the trio would send to each other as i've been writing the rest of the story.
> 
> i have many more chapters in mind for this story, it just takes me a lot of time to write. i have to do my best not to compare myself to other authors who can churn out amazing material with only weeks or days between posting dates. ((it also doesn't help that i just got done with a very stressful move, and work has been petal-to-the-metal lately.)) 
> 
> ultimately, i want you all to know that i think about this story a lot and don't plan on stopping anytime soon. so thank you for all your comments and kudos and patience; they give me the best boost of joy and inspiration to write more.


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